Family relations, in particular between parents and children, are often complex and ambiguous. Moreover, the connection established with the mother and with the father also contrasts. Most modern adults were probably closer to mothers who took care of the home well-being, while fathers worked daily for the benefit of the family. Rhina Espaillat’s “Bilingual/Bilingüe” and Robert Hayden’s “Those Winter Sundays” are poems dedicated to these unusual relationships between children and fathers. These pieces reflect how underestimated dads’ activities, especially by their children. Despite the different circumstances, both poets in adulthood realized that when they were children, they did not understand fathers, their experiences, as well as how they express love and care.
Both “Bilingual/Bilingüe” and “Those Winter Sundays” recall that fathers have feelings and experiences, which are difficult to understand for children. For example, in Espaillat’s poem, the author describes the father’s fear that his daughter will not share his native language but will speak only the language of the country where they moved. He strictly divided them, which stated in the line: “My father liked them separate, one there, /one here (allá y aquí)” (Espaillat, line 1). At the same time, it becomes clear which language is more personal since it remained in the family: “English outside this door, Spanish inside” (Espaillat, line 7). Finally, the father’s feelings about separation from his daughter are expressed as follows: “words might cut in two his daughter’s heart / ( el corazón) and lock the alien part // to what he was – his memory, his name” (Espaillat, lines 3-5). The poem is unusual since it expresses the emotions of the father and the emigrant, whose children can forget their native culture. In the poem “Those Winter Sundays,” the father’s feelings are not so obvious and are expressed not in words but deeds. Rising early in the morning, even on Sunday, the narrator’s father warmed up the house: “him [father], /who had driven out the cold / and polished my good shoes as well.” (Hayden, lines 10-12). Although doubts about the father’s warmth arise when the author points out his fears: “fearing the chronic angers of that house,” (Hayden, line 9), his last line indicates that the parent had feelings: “love’s austere and lonely offices?” (Hayden, line 14). In this way, Hayden reveals the soul of emotionally stunted fathers.
Every old man wants children to share their values, is proud of their achievements, and takes care even when he is not asked to do so. Fathers care for their children, protect them as they can, and want to express support. For instance, in “Bilingual/Bilingüe,” “proud (orgulloso) of his daughter’s pen, / he stood outside mis versos, half in fear / of words he loved but wanted not to hear.” (Espaillat, lines 16-18). According to these lines, the father’s fears about estrangement from his daughter were not dispelled over time. However, he was still proud of her achievements in creativity. All these emotions resulted in conflicting feelings of love and exclusion from the poetess’ poems. The father in Hayden’s poem, despite hard work on weekdays on weekends, still gave his family time to sleep and woke them only when it became warmer in the house. These poems are almost universal for understanding the relationship between caring fathers and their children. Due to their small life experience, children do not recognize parental love manifestations and therefore cannot appreciate it. They comprehend it later, becoming adults or even parents.
For example, Espaillat writes that in childhood, she “knew how to be dumb // and stubborn (testaruda)” (lines 10-11). Even though she violated her father’s prohibitions and still studied English at home, her heart was not divided as he feared and was committed to her father. The author expresses the hope that the dad knew about this: “I like to think he knew that” (Espaillat, line 15). However, the use of the past tense indicates that the daughter did not have time to ask about this and express her devotion. The speaker in Hayden’s verse also behaved ungratefully in childhood, and being an adult began to realize his own blindness. His behavior towards the father in youth is expressed in the line: “Speaking indifferently to him” (Hayden, line 10). However, the father’s sensitive description and the expression of regrets are in the whole poem and clarify that later the son appreciated the efforts. The most emotional are the last lines: “What did I know, what did I know / of love’s austere and lonely offices?” (Hayden, line 14). Thus, both authors recall that love, especially parental love, has different manifestations.
Thus, in Rhina Espaillat’s “Bilingual/Bilingüe” and Robert Hayden’s “Those Winter Sundays,” although authors describe different situations, poems are devoted to the fathers’ love. Small children preoccupied with their own games and experiences often ignore the sacrifice and care of their parents. The latter, in turn, want to be closer to their daughters and sons, expressing this love usually not with words but as Hayden’s character with actions. Both these poems can recall the work done by fathers and how undervalued they can be.
Works Cited
Espaillat, Rhina P. “Bilingual/Bilingüe.” 1998. Poetry Foundation, Web.
Hayden, Robert. “Those Winter Sundays.” 1985. Poetry Foundation, Web.