In the present day, sexually explicit media is very widespread. Not only is there an abundance of easily accessible pornographic videos, but more mainline movies show more than they used to in the past. It is not surprising that a general idea of orgasm is constructed within the viewers’ minds. The female orgasm specifically has become an important point in many sexual discussions. The problem of women faking orgasm has come to light as a result, and is usually connected to their insecurity and to their male partner’s ego.
Media has greatly influenced our view of what an orgasm should be. Pornographic scripts now commonly provide idealized standards of how sexual acts must be performed. Male actors in such media are specifically ensured to manage long acts (Wright et al. 3). In less explicit media, there are two distinctly different ways of showing female orgasm. One of them is ‘quiet’ and is used for characterization; the other one is ‘loud’ and is used for clarification. A combination of these approaches is possible, such as in Enemy at the Gates, where the orgasm is depicted as powerful, but having to be silenced out of necessity.
These depictions are often unrealistic, especially when pornography is concerned. Women in such media are shown to easily have orgasms, contrary to what research has shown (Séguin et al. 353). The male’s efforts at leading their partner to orgasm are greatly exaggerated and put undue pressure on heterosexual men, while at the same time robbing women of their sexual identity (Séguin et al. 353). Finally, some signs of female orgasms are specifically filmed to attract male viewers, such as female moans being louder than male, and women looking into the camera. The fact that male orgasms usually end the scene further instills orgasms as an imperative and standard ending for sex.
There are many possible reasons for a woman to fake her orgasm. Many women believe that their orgasm is necessary for men to fulfill their own sexual needs. This is often done not to hurt the male partner’s ego, to avoid the negative feelings related to not having orgasm, or attempting to heighten arousal (Hevesi 1). Some women, on the contrary, fake their orgasm to end the sex out of boredom.
Short term benefits are clear, as immediate conflict is avoided, and the male is confident in his capabilities. However, long term numerous fake orgasms will bring mutual distrust, as well as unhappiness for the woman. Women who commonly fake orgasms may not learn the necessary skillset to actually experience them (Hevesi 8). Fortunately, more than a half of women who used to fake orgasm do not continue to do so due to increased sexual comfort (Herbenick 2467). For males, faked orgasms are a boogeyman; a man whose woman had to fake an orgasm should be ashamed of himself. Consequently, men try not to overthink the matter and doubt their sexual expertise to maintain their ego. For women, though, faking an orgasm is a reality, especially during the early stages of a relationship – the very same stages when it is common for men to brag about their sexual exploits.
The claims in the video from When Harry Met Sally are not surprising; they could be so when the movie first came out, but in the present day women faking orgasms are common knowledge. The only surprising aspect of the scene is that Sally dared to fake the orgasm in public, rather than in private. This is still something not commonly done by young people.
Thus, most women have an experience of faking their orgasms. This is dictated by supporting male ego, trying to end the coitus, or to enhance the woman’s actual pleasure. Modern media, especially pornography, has developed a common idea of orgasms having unrealistic standard features, causing increased demand for male sexual skills and decreasing female sexual agency. Still, the fake orgasms are mostly a feature of the early stages of a relationship, and may go as the relationship and trust develop.
Works Cited
Herbenick, Debby, et al. “Women’s Sexual Satisfaction, Communication, and Reasons for (No Longer) Faking Orgasm: Findings from a U.S. Probability Sample.” Archives of Sexual Behavior, vol. 48, no. 8, 2019, pp. 2461–2472. Web.
Hevesi, Krisztina, et al. “Faking Orgasm: Relationship to Orgasmic Problems and Relationship Type in Heterosexual Women.” Sexual Medicine, vol. 9, no. 5, 2021, pp. 1–10. Web.
Séguin, Léa J., et al. “Consuming Ecstasy: Representations of Male and Female Orgasm in Mainstream Pornography.” The Journal of Sex Research, vol. 55, no. 3, 2017, pp. 348–356. Web.
Wright, Paul J., et al. “Pornography, Sexual Insecurity, and Orgasm Difficulty.” Health Communication, 2021, pp. 1–10. Web.