It is evident that people have mortal bodies, and life is not internal; thus, passing away is a normal and unavoidable process. Nevertheless, such biological and philosophical ideas would be clueless to comfort people experiencing the loss of loved ones. Bereaved individuals usually undergo a hard time of distress, and the adaptation to life without a particular person can be a tough challenge. Big Fish is a novel written by Danielle Wallace that involves such emotionally lacerating themes as grief and mourning caused by the loss of a parent. The author tells about William Bloom, who retells tall tales of the life of his gravely ill father, Edward. Every story is a mixture of fantasy and reality that metaphorically depicts his personality and reveals his relationship with a son. Edward, who is an adventurous and continually growing person, paid less attention to his son’s upbringing than latter expected. Despite frustration and bitterness, William ultimately understands his father and his way of life, realizing that he loves him for who he was; thus, the loss leads to the appreciation of what was neglected before.
When Edward develops terminal cancer, everybody in the family starts to expect worse, except him, who always had a fighting spirit. He hated staying at home for a long time and spent most of his life traveling. Before the illness, he worked as a salesman instead of being at home with his wife and son. William loves his father but is still concerned with the fact that Edward was an absent father. Moreover, he does not like that Edward deflects his serious question with jokes and metaphorically answers them. The son always wanted to receive more attention and seriousness from his father.
Nevertheless, following the recalling shared moments, he decides that he has a genuinely loving father whose tales and jokes are not obscuring the real image of him; instead, they show him real. In the first death take the young man regrets that he does not know his father. Will accuse him of being not there for him and even nearly break up the family having an affair with Jenny Hill (Wallace 142). At that moment, the young man assesses Edward through the prism of family relationships and concludes that his father was far from perfect.
As the story progress, he realizes that his father would not be the same adventurous person if he stayed at home with his family. The wonder and magic that comes from his stories about the times of his absence are better than the “ordinariness of his presence” (Wallace 16). The sense of magic is what Will ultimately loves about his father, while his father is a flawed version of himself when he is trapped in a life that restricts him. Despite the long absences, the narrator admits that Edward “made a cameo and yet heroic appearances in my own life, saving my life when he could, urging me toward my manhood” (Wallace 118). William recalls how his father saved his life two times, supported his growth, and spent time actively with him while staying at home. Edward struggled to balance his will to be the empowered father with his natural desire for adventure.
From a psychological perspective, the expectation that his father dies soon made William re-evaluate his father’s life and their father-son relationships. When grief strikes, people tend to see their social links in their true light. In that case, the son abandons his dreams to have a better version of his father. He understands the reasons behind the choices his father made. Will realizes his nature, aspirations, and good deeds, instead of focusing only on his imperfections and flaws that offended him. He ultimately finds a connection with Edward what was his dream and understands that this type of relationship was present before but neglected by him.
His mother, Sandra, easier coped with grief because she did not have broader regrets beyond losing a loved one. The Continuing Bonds model of grief states that it is not a linear process with stages that lead to acceptance of loss. It is rather the establishment of a new kind of relationship caused by the death of a loved one (Klass and Steffen 20). Instead of detachment from the deceased, the theory states that bereaved individuals adjust their relationship with passed away people that allowing a continued bond that will last throughout one’s life. In that case, William remembers special moments spent with his father what slightly improves his emotional condition because he stopped regretting it. Solomon states that mourning is different from grief and is a process of accommodation and assimilation to the loss (174). The mourner should create new ties that are about loving in absence, revise the lost person’s identity, and reestablish the assumptive world. By the end, Will successfully did it by fighting his alienation from Edward and maintaining the ritual that he once shared with his father – telling tall tales.
To conclude, William ultimately understood that his father is not perfect, and his unusual behaviors are not the tools to distance himself from his son. It helped him to let go of his disappointments regarding having an extraordinary father. The son realizes that these flawed attempts are the best ways Edward knows to demonstrate his care and love. William ultimately feels connected to his father and retells the story of his death in the same style of a fantastic myth, rather than a sad event. In terms of psychology, the Continuing Bonds model of grief explains the choice made by Will. It simultaneously helped him to realize who his father is, accept and love his imperfections, and make peace with Edward’s death.
Works Cited
Klass, Dennis, and Edith Steffen. Continuing Bonds in Bereavement: New Directions for Research and Practice. Routledge, 2017.
Solomon, Roger M. “EMDR Treatment of Grief and Mourning.” Clinical Neuropsychiatry, vol. 15, no. 3, 2018, pp. 137-150.
Wallace, Daniel. Big Fish: A Novel of Mythic Proportions. Simon & Schuster UK, 2017.