The book Guests of the Sheik: An Ethnography of an Iraqi Village raises the topic of relationships and existence in the society of people in El Nahra. The subject of interaction between men and women is emphasized. While having different daily activities, men try to have complete control over women. Women are completely subservient and must fulfill all the duties of an ideal wife according to men’s view in El Nahra: work hard, accompany the husband, clean up, and cook. In addition, the complete devotion and dedication of a women’s life to their husband is emphasized by wearing the abaya, a national dress that completely hides the body. Polygyny is accepted by society, while women cannot interact with anyone other than children or people of the same sex. This highlights the theme of gender inequality.
Girls do not choose whom to marry, but their family decides for them. The book does not indicate a specific age, but their mothers choose a worthy husband for girls, taking into account the welfare and position in society of the family and the husband himself. Women are limited in their actions and behavior, while male polygyny is approved by society. There are some advantages of polygyny in El Nahra since when leaving the past family, a man is still obliged to support his wife and children. Thus, some men financially support several of their past families at once, in this way, providing stability for divorced wives who remain alone or with children (Fernea, 1969). It also gives men the opportunity to have a new wife if they want more children and the existing wife is out of childbearing age. A man in El Nahra can have up to 4 wives at the same time to satisfy all his wants and needs.
While most large cities have already moved away from extended families, in the remote location of El Nahra this opportunity still exists. It is believed that a woman in such a family, even with other wives, is provided with everything needed, lives in comfortable conditions, and has the ability to socialize within this small social unit. Many women in El Nahra accept the situation, while for others such a life is unbearable. In this case, perception depends on the attitude and behavior of the husband himself, as well as his family, which directly affects the relationship. The book mentions a story when a wife asked her husband to take another wife so that it would be easier to cope with the household. This highlights the difference in relationships and attitudes toward polygyny between families.
There are many other types of marriages, comparing polygyny with which differences in attitudes and behaviors are revealed. In the matrilineal type of marriage, the goal is to preserve all the woman’s rights to children. In this case, the inheritance goes along the female line in order to completely take the woman away from dependence on the male sex. Polyamory in this type of marriage could appear only with the personal desire of the woman. In the case of a matrilocal marriage, in which the couple lives close to the wife’s family, the structure would also change. In El Nahra, the husband himself and his family have more influence, but if they would live next to the wife’s family, she would acquire more influence and decision-making power.
The qualitative research method was used by the author of the book to obtain ethnographic information. This was done by observing people in their original habitat, avoiding harsh interference, and conducting research through immersion in the environment. This method allowed the author of the book to collect the most accurate and extensive information, being a part of the life of El Nahra.
In conclusion, life and marriage types in El Nahra are different from most major cities. At the moment, there is gender inequality that gives men the right to polygyny, while women are limited in their rights. Acceptance and attitude toward this factor depend on many parameters, including personal perception and living conditions. The author of the book allowed us to fully immerse ourselves in the atmosphere of the El Nahra village.
Reference
Fernea, E. (1969). Guests of the Sheik. Anchor Books.