Introduction
The lack of connections between people, families, and communities in society is a problem and an actual challenge for people, as it creates a lot of inconveniences. Separation and social tension can increase significantly because people cannot unite and interact with each other. This ultimately leads to negative consequences manifesting in social isolation and rejection. Many modern and classical writers have dealt with these themes in their writings. Some are “Cathedral” by Raymond Carver and “Beg Borrow Steal” by Maurice Carlos Ruffin. The themes of distancing people and their lack of connections are especially vivid in these works.
Connections Between People, Families, Communities
Social Distancing in “Beg to Borrow Steal”
In the work of “Beg to Borrow Steal”, one can observe social distancing between strangers and within the same family. For example, when Pop returned from jail, his first action was to “shove you and your little sister out the front door” (Ruffin 1). This passage is located at the very beginning of the work. It thus helps to establish the tone for the whole story, setting the reader up for the complex topics of family relationships.
Pop cannot express warm feelings or family ties, and treats the main character and their sister rudely. He understands that he should not behave this way; however, for a long time, until he saw his family, he completely lost the habit of warm communication. This gives rise to multiple obstacles and misunderstandings in society that prevent it from becoming a full-fledged member. This dynamic of interlining interaction is unusual for a family and negatively affects how the characters behave.
Broken Father-Son Bond and Its Impact
Pop’s lack of communication and family communication with his son is a big problem. After his release from prison, he tries to establish communication with his son, but this comes out clumsily and sometimes rudely. For example, when Pop comes home at the story’s beginning, “he doesn’t even say hi” (Ruffin 1). This leaves a particular imprint on his perception of himself by his child, who expected a little more and was confused and misunderstood. The relationship between the son and the father cannot be established normally from the beginning of Pop’s stay at home.
In the future, the lack of ties with his son will lead to a disaster in which he will repeat his father’s mistakes. The protagonist steals a car under the social pressure and condemnation he experienced over the past day. Several factors contributed to this situation: “Pop showed you how to crack open a steering wheel column and hot wire a car” (Ruffin 3). This situation can be perceived as simply spending time with the son. Pop taught him the skill but didn’t tell him it shouldn’t be used for illegal activities.
Thus, in the future, because the main character’s communication with Pop was not established and they did not have any connection, the protagonist made a mistake that could have been avoided. The father’s lack of understanding of the son led to “You jam the screwdriver into the steering wheel column and something gives” (Ruffin 6). The protagonist makes the same mistake as his father, who cannot establish a connection.
Root Causes of Social and Familial Barriers
At the same time, in the story, it is possible to analyze the reasons and those moments that lead to the emergence of negative communication and the absence of strong family ties. For example, Pop’s condescending attitude towards the protagonist is shown when he gets behind the wheel: “I thought you’d be taller by now. Instead, you just got fat” (Ruffin 2). This happens when they head around the city in search of work, which sets the tone for their interaction and mood.
The characters are prevented from approaching by social barriers and prejudices, some of which they build themselves. This situation is primarily reflected in real life when people have certain prejudices when faced with which they strengthen their negative attitude toward others. In this case, a potential solution to the problem could be a discussion and a frank conversation between the characters, allowing them to get closer.
Building Connection in “Cathedral”
Raymond Carver’s “Cathedral“ also explores the theme of social withdrawal and lack of connection between people. However, in this text, there is an example of how people can find connections and destroy social distance. This can be seen, for example, when the narrator finds a common cause with Robert, a friend of his wife: “We’re drawing a cathedral. Me and I are working on it. Press hard,“ he told me. “That’s right. That’s good,“ he said (Carver 227).
Drawing helped people find a common language and establish certain connections that united them for a common cause. This is a positive example of how people can get closer in society. This text will help people understand how to solve problems and positively contribute to society. This effect can be enhanced by creating various interest clubs where people can find new acquaintances and do what they like.
The Role of Empathy in Breaking Barriers
The narrator is full of prejudice and skepticism about Robert at the very beginning of their collaboration. These are the aspects that create distance between different people and communities. This topic has been discussed before, and various factors, such as prejudice, are among the main factors that contribute to social distancing. They can bond because the narrator can absorb Robert’s experiences and feelings by closing his eyes.
However, he experienced the process completely differently: “So we kept on with it. His fingers rode my fingers as my hand went over the paper. It was like nothing else in my life up to now“ (Carver 228). Thus, it can be said that setting up social connections between people is a task that can be accomplished by finding similar aspects. In this case, this was the opportunity for the main character to draw in the same way as Robert, without seeing what he was doing. This allowed him to understand how he felt, which shattered his preconceptions.
Shared Themes Across Stories
In the context of the considered stories, both situations with social distance are related to the fact that people set specific barriers for themselves without trying to understand and learn better the opinions of others. Communities and families thus suffer greatly, as sometimes relatives cannot find the connection to unite and begin to understand each other better. The key scenes considered from two different works demonstrate the very problem of the lack of connections and the reasons for this.
It is essential to influence them to improve communication between people. Thus, the main character in “Cathedral“ partially changed his life by finding an open-minded blind man. Understanding the importance of dealing with the lack of connections can mean that many people will begin to change and perceive society differently. These methods are not always successful, as many people retain their perceptions, which do not allow them to understand and realize how similar all members of society are.
Personal Reflection on the Importance of Connection
This topic is important to me because I have seen so many times in society that there is no connection between people or communities. For example, this can be seen when a person with a developmental disorder appears on the street and all the people around behave incorrectly towards them. They may try to move away or ignore requests for help from such individuals.
This is often due to a lack of understanding of people and an unwillingness to study their problems. People around unconsciously avoid individuals with intellectual development problems because they do not understand the causes of these vulnerabilities and their nature. A similar story is told in “Cathedral,“ where the protagonist has to try to connect with a person he does not understand.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the lack of connections between people, communities, and families can stem from various reasons that become communication barriers. These aspects form in people those wrong stereotypes and perceptual distortions that hinder understanding. Different social groups, such as ex-prisoners or blind people, may face such misunderstandings that push them away from full integration and setting up connections.
Eliminating prejudice and negative attitudes towards marginalized groups can be done with the best support programs. In addition, a significant factor of influence is finding communication that brings people together in their activities. This way, the problem can be addressed more precisely, strengthening the bonds within and between communities.
Works Cited
Carver, Raymond. “Cathedral”. 1981.
Ruffin, C. Maurice. “Beg Borrow Steal”. 2014.