Most of the time, Canwen Xu was the only Asian among her peers. Hence, she was facing a lot of stereotypical judgments from her peers. The difficulty in the reconciliation of her Chinese heritage with her American identity is that everyone around her would only notice her Chinese origins. It made it difficult for her to fit into her peers, being Asian and American at the same time.
As a child, she had two options. The first one is to comply with the stereotypes about her being Asian. The second option is to be conformed to the Americanism around her. When she showed her math skills, everyone would think the reason is being Asian, not because she is hardworking. Also, if she dated someone, everyone would assume that boy likes Asian girls. These stereotypes made her believe that the only remarkable thing about her was that she is Asian.
She differentiates racism from not racism. The not racist person would only differ people without making a conclusion out of it. However, a racist person would argue that white people are better than not white people just because they are white.
The reason for her rejection of her Chinese identity is that she wanted to conform to other peers. Stereotypical judgment of her peers made her hate her Chinese side and pushed her to become more American in front of her peers. As Canwen Xu said (2016), “The more I rejected my Chinese identity, the more popular I became.” It shows that rejection of her Chinese heritage was even beneficial for her social status.
In the end, she describes herself as she is. She does not hide anything about her being afraid that it is a stereotypical feature. She freely says that she likes math and is a horrible driver. Also, she mentions that she is proud of being a little bit Chinese and a little bit American. Her experience can relate to me in terms of stereotypes that people usually have. I witnessed several times when people stereotypically think about other people or make some jokes based on that stereotypes.
Reference
Xu, C. (2016). I am not your Asian stereotype. Ted.com. Web.