An Introduction to Communication
In the introductory story of Smith’s The Key to Survival, the main reason behind the misunderstanding of the case couple, Jason and Susan, was a lack of communication. According to a communicational axiom stated by Smith et al. (2021), communication is essential for people to understand one another better. Unfortunately, the story’s events indicate that the pair did not spend much time speaking.
Moreover, the abrupt talk the two had on the phone contributed to the situation’s overall ambiguity. That is, Jason’s short encoded message could not be correctly decoded by Susan (Smith et al., 2021). As a result, the pair could not meet and perceived the event negatively, which could have been avoided with proper and frequent communication.
Self-Concept and Self-Esteem
In the second chapter, Jason and Susan face similar barriers when making up with their partner. Firstly, they were influenced by authority figures, such as peers and family members, who advised them against making the first move (Smith et al., 2021). Secondly, they were also pressured by group norms imposed by their genders to be the first to call after an issue was deemed to have specific implications for their relationships. This affected their self-esteem, prompting them to conform to external opinions instead of pursuing personal desires, which proved to be the wrong choice. Subsequently, it only resulted in the unnecessary prolongation of misunderstandings.
Verbal Communication
Regarding verbal communication, the only issue regarding the pair’s morning talk was its conciseness. Undoubtedly, Jason’s claims regarding the denotative clarity of his message are perfectly justifiable. Namely, he did not use any of the three main verbal communication misuse types: jargon, euphemisms, or inflated language (Smith et al., 2021). Nevertheless, Jason did not anticipate that his words could have an uncertain connotative meaning for Susan, which is evident due to her confusion. Therefore, adding more evidence to his meeting request could have addressed the misunderstanding.
Nonverbal Communication
In this part of the story, Jason is correct about his assumption that he will be able to understand Susan better if he sees her in person. That is, people leave countless nonverbal cues during their verbal expression (Smith et al., 2021). For instance, Jason looking concerned and anxious, or Susan slamming the door behind her, are all artifacts of affect display that nonverbally describe their current state of mind. In the former case, it was the main reason people would clear his path. Thus, speaking in person would help clarify Jason and Susan’s misunderstanding.
Listening
This chapter indicates several issues the pair had regarding how they listened to each other. In particular, Susan complained about the frequent message overload she experiences at work (Smith et al., 2021). It prevents her from listening to Jason naturally, implying she has to put in the conscious effort required in deliberate listening. This tendency is known to Jason, but a lack of explanation from Susan’s side has led to him making negative assumptions (Smith et al., 2021). In this context, the pair would communicate much more efficiently in an environment without external distractions, allowing them to focus on the conversation entirely.
Self-Disclosure
In chapter 6, the couple finally manages to uncover the misunderstanding and feelings behind it. Overall, judging by their being highly satisfied that they talked the situation through, this showcases an example of catharsis (Smith et al., 2021). In many ways, it can be attributed to the reciprocity of their self-disclosure, as it is often perceived as a high-risk activity in interpersonal relationships. Although it does bring clarification, unnecessary or inappropriate self-disclosures might do more harm than good in the form of exposure to potential manipulation. Nevertheless, the couple’s decision to disclose their feelings was correct and should be maintained in the future.
Gender Communication
Regarding gender communication, the pair would benefit from increasing awareness regarding several gender peculiarities. For instance, Jason could not satisfy Susan’s request for communication due to his current presentation preoccupation. In turn, Susan got too emotional over Jason’s response and continued to force herself on him. Smith et al. (2021) explain that the male and female corpus callosum are organized differently, reflecting the male tendency to focus highly on a single matter and the female tendency to be more emotional. In this context, applying the opaque rule compared to the Golden one would have been a much more appropriate decision.
Perception
This chapter perfectly exemplifies the perception differences individuals can have on seemingly the same matter. Firstly, two and a half hours seemed short enough for Jason but too long for Susan (Smith et al., 2021). Secondly, the attitude Jason displayed toward Susan was interpreted by the former as upholding the promise not to bring work home and as breaking it by the latter. Perception is a naturally multi-faceted concept that adheres to various psychological, physiological, and situational factors (Smith et al., 2021). Thus, the pair disclosing their vision of these factors clearly and transparently can only resolve the current situation.
Defensiveness
In this short story, Susan’s emotions are a product of her defensive mechanisms. Earlier that day, she had to repress her anger toward her boss, which was later reinforced by the irritation from Jason’s question, prompting Susan to reply sarcastically (Smith et al., 2021). Jason was also frustrated by work-related issues, so he had few resources to invest in empathy toward his wife (Smith et al., 2021). On the contrary, her sarcasm invoked reciprocal defensiveness from Jason, escalating their conflict. To successfully deal with emotions in interpersonal communication, the pair would benefit from problem orientation and rationalization, omitting emotions.
Conflict
The conflict represented in this chapter can be explained by Jason’s nonassertive approach compared to Susan’s assertive approach. When requested to watch the show, given that they embarked on a journey afterward, Susan acknowledged her husband’s request (Smith et al., 2021). However, the situation was interpreted entirely differently by Jason, who only intended to avoid the conversation regarding their journey. He later continued to avoid it by simply leaving the room in the face of a conflict: a case of nonassertion (Smith et al., 2021). In this context, the pair can resolve such conflicts if they consciously collaborate and reach a consensus without neglecting each other.
Electronic Communication
As such, electronic communication implies people’s exposure to numerous disinformation traps. For instance, Susan did not know why Jason did not update his marital status on Facebook (Smith et al., 2021). This is a frequent result of asynchronous communication, implying no need to synchronize over the time of sending and receiving messages. Electronic communication also lacks the means to express emotions, relying on surrogates such as emojis and emoticons (Smith et al., 2021). Overall, it would be more efficient to speak in person and explain to each other the reasoning behind their actions to solve the presented issue.
Reference
Smith, T. L., Tague-Busler, M., & Herbig, S. (2021). The key to survival: Interpersonal communication (5th ed.). Waveland Press.