Introduction
Grief and loss of a loved one is an experience that significantly affects a person’s worldview, forcing them to rethink one’s own beliefs. For C.S. Lewis, the death of his wife, Helen Joy Davidman, was a turning point in his life, forcing the writer through many emotions and contributing to his transformation. These emotions included anger, denial, and loss, but eventually came to acceptance. Therefore, this essay aims to analyze the impact of the death of his wife on Lewis and the lessons the author has learned from this experience.
Discussion
The very first reaction of any person, including Lewis, to the loss of a loved one is anger and bitterness of loss. These emotions are associated with a strong emotional shock, which leads to confusion and incomprehension of how to continue life without a person who passed. After the death of his wife, Lewis reconsiders his perception of God, not denying his existence but acknowledging that God is unjust and capable of cruelty. The writer notes that “this is what God’s really like,” meaning He can bring joy and suffering (Lewis 20). Thus, the first stage of Lewis’ transformation after the death of his wife is marked by the confusion that he experiences because what he previously believed turned out to be untrue.
To cope with his emotions and worries, Lewis feels nostalgic about the times spent with his wife and seeks strength in the emotions and feelings associated with H. The writer decides that his wife “will live forever in my memory” and at the same time ridicules this choice of words since H. is dead and cannot “live” (Lewis 28). In the following pages, the author repeatedly reiterates that his wife is dead, which seems to be a way of getting him to believe it himself and deal with the denial of the loss.
Moreover, the death of H. forces Lewis to reconsider his perception of paradise and life after death. The author is somewhat skeptical about “family reunions ‘on the further shore’” and wishes to meet his wife again (Lewis 33). The author questions the concept of paradise as something contradictory and, therefore, unrealistic. At the same time, Lewis does not deny religion and God but confirms that they are not entirely understandable and comprehensible to him. Moreover, he equates his wife with God because she is also “incomprehensible and unimaginable” (Lewis 32). This makes one think that his wife and memories of her will probably become a new source of strength and inspiration for the writer, along with religion.
Throughout his transformation, Lewis is increasingly convinced that faith and religion have many contradictions and paradoxes. One such paradox is how human suffering and God’s mercy can coexist. If religion tries to convince people that God is merciful, then why does he make them suffer, taking away the most valuable thing? Lewis says that “God is an iconoclast,” meaning that he destroys the image he has created (Lewis 57). This forces the writer to recognize that his ideas about God, his wife, and what surrounds him are just his opinions, which can be wrong.
Ultimately, the author claims that “all reality is iconoclastic” (Lewis 58). The reality that a person sees around him is only an individual interpretation based on personal experience, feelings, and knowledge. Each person has the reality in which they live. This demonstrates a significant shift in the writer’s perception of the world and the understanding that he can go beyond his understanding. This approach allows you to overcome the anger and rejection associated with the death of your wife and come to terms with the complexity of the Divine plan.
At this stage, Lewis rethinks his own experiences, perceiving them not as suffering but as an exit to a new level of understanding and interaction with the world. The author concludes that suffering is one of the ways to purify consciousness and understand the meaning of life. Lewis says that the wife’s death was not God’s “experiment on my faith or love” (Lewis 49).
Throughout all his experiences, the writer never once doubted faith or God. He continued to believe in His existence, but with the knowledge that He was not always just or merciful. However, after experiencing this experience and realizing the limitations of his perception, Lewis realized that suffering is a valuable experience necessary for a better understanding of the world around him and the divine plan. He begins to view his experiences as new perspectives and opportunities.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the grief experienced by Lewis and described in his book contributed to a significant transformation of the author and a change in his worldview. Trying to overcome the anger and grief caused by the loss of his wife, the writer comes to more profound truths that help him come closer to understanding the secrets of the universe. Lewis realizes that a person is limited in knowledge and can only speculate about reality based on his experience. At the same time, the author concludes that suffering, despite being very painful, is one of the ways to understand the meaning of life and find answers to eternal questions.
Work Cited
Lewis, Clive Staples. A Grief Observed. Harper-Collins, 1961.