Emotional Response to the Documentary
The documentary film “A Secret Love” has triggered several emotional responses, depending on the specific life story, event, or phenomenon that was being shown. I was sad when I realized that Pat and Terry had to hide their love for each other for their entire lives, even from their closest family members. It is also upsetting that they had to wait for almost 70 years to admit their relationship and only be able to be their true selves during their geriatric years.
At the same time, I was happy when they were talking about each other with love and admiration. It was surprising that they managed to keep their relationship secret, yet it can be the case that due to the prejudice and discrimination that they would face, people who knew them may not have even considered the possibility of looking into their connection. Objectively, the film inspires a vast array of emotions and encourages the audience to not only see the story for what it is but also reflect on the circumstances that have generated such outcomes.
Cultural Competency and Empathy in gerontology
One of the main points that I have concluded after watching the documentary is that the lives of Pat and Terry as individuals deserve appreciation. Despite the barriers that they have faced both in their professional and personal lives, they have stayed true to themselves and have not lost the love they have for each other. The women fought to defy the odds and live a long and happy life together. As a gerontology professional, I understand the unique and complex experiences that every senior has gone through during their lifetime. The movie has made me remember that each person has a story behind the years they have lived, and the story is not always full of acceptance and positive moments.
The experience of Pat and Terry is not unique in its nature. Specifically, as a same-sex couple, the women face discrimination, a lack of inclusion, and even prosecution for their love and sexuality. A variety of other demographic minorities similarly objected to prejudice and bias. Older adults can have aligning experiences due to them being religious, ethnic, or racial minorities. In other cases, a patient’s immigrant status impacts the way they interact with the outside world. Pat and Terry’s example, while unique, sheds light on all geriatric patients who have had a hard life due to their status.
Life Review and Reminiscence in Therapeutic Settings
The individuals starring in the film “A secret love” have recalled their life experiences and events in the documentary. This aligns with the theory developed by Robert N. Butler, named “Life review.” Based on the framework, the geriatric patient engages in therapy in which the consciousness returns to past occurrences, allowing for unresolved conflicts to be addressed (Achenbaum, 2021).
Pat and Terry live as a same-sex couple in secret because of the fear of being prosecuted and judged. By openly sharing their stories with the world, they not only helped people currently struggling with living openly. They have also been able to reconcile with the idea that their partnership can be accepted in modern society. They do not have to hide anymore and are to leave the shell they created to protect themselves. Realizing their vulnerabilities, they agreed to move into an assisted living center and have come to terms with the idea of being fully open and integrated into a society that previously did not accept them.
Challenges in Finding Inclusive Long-Term Care
Pat and Terry were resisting the idea of going to a facility as their independence would be hindered. Additionally, growing up in an era in which LGBTQ+ was a label that exemplified a negative overview from society, they fear discrimination. Their house used to be their fortress full of memories, and giving it up is a scary step (Bolan, 2020). Hence, they were apprehensive to relocate due to the aforementioned limitations. They ended up finding a place that was inclusive and supportive of same-sex couples. Even today, homosexual seniors cannot access certain resources, which is why organizations such as SAGE operate (SAGE, 2023). Despite the major changes, same-sex couples still face a variety of challenges.
The Role of Family and Community Support
Pat and Terry’s families played a major role in their decision as they were the ones who suggested the changes. They were unaware of their relationship, and their reactions after finding out the secret were mixed. Their friends in the LGBTQ+ community arguably played a more significant role due to the emotional support and the transparency they provided (Bolan, 2020). The conflicts faced by the couple included those with society as a whole and unaccepting family members. Pat’s reluctance to share financial information was impacted by her fear that others would take advantage of their savings or that they would not qualify for assistance.
As professionals, we could provide families with information to highlight that assisted living does not imply a lack of independence but rather the opportunity to simplify certain tasks that are becoming difficult to fulfill. It is important to note that Pat and Terry had the financial means to select a living facility that was LGBTQ+ friendly, an opportunity that other individuals do not have. One of the reasons why the couple relocated to Canada several times was the more inclusive environment as well as the health benefits that were present in a system with universal healthcare.
Financial Realities and Access to Long-Term Care
Individuals who do not have a high socioeconomic status encounter a variety of difficulties when it comes to selecting long-term care facilities. Hence, the same options that Pat and Terry had been not widely available, which is why seniors apply for help from non-profit organizations or use Medicaid or Medicare, yet in this case, the selection is narrow. In the case of the couple featured in the film, I believe that the family’s insistence to move to a facility is justified.
The health conditions and limited mobility imply that many of the actions that the women could engage in are off the table. In an assisted home, they will receive much-needed help. For them to remain in their own home in Chicago, a family member would have to live with them. The family could also opt for house modifications to create more accessibility, have a nurse make daily visitations, or collaborate with non-profits specializing in assisting seniors living at home. Nonetheless, the care received in a facility is difficult to replicate.
Balancing Independence with Health and Safety
As professionals in gerontology, it is important to balance between the independence and desires of the patients and their health and well-being. Hence, communication is at the forefront of determining the best strategy that would be beneficial both physically and emotionally. In regard to families, it is critical to share information on all possible solutions to ensure that decision-making is advantageous for all parties. It is vital to view every patient as an individual rather than a diagnosis or an entity to be helped.
References
Achenbaum, W. A. (2021). Dr. Robert Butler’s legacy in defining and fighting ageism. University of Toronto Quarterly, 90(2), 80–95. Web.
Bolan, C. (2020). A secret love [Film]. Blumhouse Productions.
SAGE. (2023). NYC services and Centers. Web.