Introduction
Rich’s portrayal of ‘anger’ is the product of the societal pressures and expectations that mothers deal with, which leads to a sense of loss of self and the resulting internal conflicts. In the case of ‘tenderness,’ it emerges as the innate and genuine affection a mother holds for her child. Despite its strength, this emotion becomes challenged by the overarching demands of societal norms.
Anger and Tenderness in the Context of Motherhood
Adrienne Rich provides an intricate portrayal of mothers’ emotional nuances; hence, she challenges societal constructs that limit a mother’s identity to mere selfless caregiving. Rich states: “A ‘natural’ mother is a person without further identity … maternal love is, and should be, quite literally selfless; that children and mothers are the ’causes’ of each other’s suffering” (22). Such a perspective draws attention to the expectations set for mothers, often at the expense of their individuality.
Mothers are expected to consistently exhibit an unwavering, selfless love, eclipsing all other emotions; however, such expectations can lead to a paradox where both mothers and children inadvertently become sources of mutual distress. Rich’s insights suggest that emotions in motherhood are multifaceted since they extend beyond mere tenderness, which is why she showcases the need to recognize the depth and complexity inherent in the maternal bond. Rich claims: “You seemed to feel you ought to love us all the time. But there is no human relationship where you love the other person at every moment” (23). The given observation dispels the myth of uninterrupted maternal affection.
It becomes clear that expecting unwavering love in the maternal bond is unrealistic and denies the range of genuine human emotions. Such insights prompt a reevaluation of long-held beliefs about motherhood. The societal roles and expectations imposed upon mothers seem to be a source of significant tension; thus, it becomes evident that societal ideals often trap mothers into a restricted identity through the lens of Rich’s narrative. Rich writes, “as if the suffering of the mother, the primary identification of woman as the mother—were so necessary to … human society that the mitigation … must be fought at every level” (30).
The latter notion suggests a tension – possibly the ‘anger’ Rich speaks of – rooted in the expectation that mothers must endure suffering as part of their identity. The societal pressure to continuously love, sacrifice, and be selfless might generate this anger; however, the inherent bond between mother and child speaks to the ‘tenderness’ that Rich references (30). This tenderness gets challenged by the unrealistic expectation of unwavering love.
Rich’s observations showcase how societal constructs contribute to the dichotomous feelings mothers experience. Rich concludes: “The ancient, continuing envy, awe, and dread of the male for the female capacity to create life has repeatedly taken the form of hatred for every other female aspect of creativity” (40). The quote means that the unique ability of women to give birth, a profound manifestation of tenderness, is met with mixed reactions – awe, envy, and sometimes resentment.
Conclusion
Consequently, this societal envy and dread could amplify mothers’ internal conflict, further deepening the ‘anger’ in their experience. Recognizing both profound emotions – anger, and tenderness – provides a nuanced understanding of motherhood; therefore, Rich’s insights showcase the balancing act mothers often perform between societal expectations and their authentic feelings.
Work Cited
Rich, Adrienne. “Anger and Tenderness.” Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution, edited by Adrienne Rich, W. W. Norton & Company, 1995, pp. 21-40.