The family unit is important in shaping the personality of people and influencing their genes. Naturally, people inherit their genes from parents and may share similar physical and biological characteristics. Moreover, the family is the first environment where a person learns basic survival skills and other aspects of life. In turn, people raised together may have value systems, habits, traditions, and religious beliefs that are similar. Although the family of origin may not be perfect, there is always an opportunity to shape the next generation.
Cohesion
Cohesion is the degree of relationship, especially the emotional connections between the people living together. Families can either be enmeshed, which is evident in being overly cohesive, or disengaged where there are no meaningful associations (Balswick & Balswick, 2007, p. 36). It is vital for family members to have a strong connection while maintaining their individuality. In my family, the level of cohesion was fair, although more to the disengagement. As much as I could share things with my parents, I never developed the level of closeness to share everything, especially when I entered my teenage years and started having romantic relationships.
Adaptability
Changes are inevitable for humans; hence, family members must understand what they can embrace and what is to be discarded. Particularly, it is important to have some level of stability but still allow for some adjustment (Balswick & Balswick, 2007, p. 38). To a large extent, my family was chaotic because when I was young, we used to move a lot as my father often changed workplaces. My family failed to adapt to constantly moving, changing schools, getting new friends and neighbors. As a result, it became difficult for my siblings and I to learn to follow the rules because my parents allowed us to be flexible in doing whatever we wanted.
Communication
There is no relationship that can exist without effective communication, as people have to share their expectations, requests, and other things with those around them. Good communication is one that has clarity of perception and expression as it pertains to the message receiver (Balswick & Balswick, 2007, p. 39). In my family, it was easy to pass messages to my parents and siblings. Sometimes we would write notes and leave them on the table or at conspicuous places. Thus, more often than not, we were able to understand each other regardless of the pathway of sending the message.
Role Structure
Nowadays, both men and women work together to build the economy. Strong families should have clear generational boundaries and agreement on roles to avoid conflict (Balswick & Balswick, 2007, p. 35). My father was mostly the breadwinner, while my mother did most house choirs. We also had a house manager who helped with cleaning, gardening, and other small duties. Therefore, there were no major conflicts of roles as people were always ready and willing to step up whenever they felt that one person was overwhelmed.
Implication for Retaining, Discarding, and Retaining
Overall, I came from a great family and would retain most of the values and lifestyle that my parents adopted. I love the communication skills that we had because they enabled us to understand each other. In addition, I enjoyed the peace brought about by having well-defined roles and would follow in the same steps. However, I will have to change disengagement to improve cohesion with my children, especially in their adolescent years. The aspect that I will change is the adaptability as there was little stability to afford us time to settle and work constructively or build relationships with friends.
Reference
Balswick, J. O., & Balswick, J. K. (2007). The family: A Christian perspective on the contemporary home (4th edition). Baker Academic.