Distrust
“When I was in court, the defense attorney really pounded me. You know, like he thought I was lying or didn’t believe me or thought I was exaggerating.”
Empathic Response
That must have been really discouraging to see the lack of trust in the person who is responsible for such an important decision.
Loss
“Those dirty, lousy creeps! Everything was fine in my life, and they really, really ruined everything! I don’t care if I go on or not. Why live if someone can just take everything away from you in one night?”
Empathic Response
That must have made you feel as if the loss you describe equals everything you have in your life.
Attachment
“I know you said this is temporary housing and all, but I never had a place like this place. I can’t stand to think I have to move again sometime, and God knows where I’ll go.”
Empathic Response
That must be really hard to abandon the place you associate with your home, even if you know it is just a temporary solution.
Powerlessness
“This whole setup is the pits. He gets to stay in the house after beating me half to death, and I have to go to this cramped little room. Does that make sense?”
Empathic Response
I guess what worries me is this tendency to abuse his power leaving you powerless to enter the house.
Regret
“Sometimes it kind of makes me sick to think of all the stuff I did when I was drinking. I’d like to go and take it all back, but how do you ever do that?”
Empathic Response
It would be helpful if you understood that this regret for the past deeds helps you understand how to become a better person today.
Fright
“I just can’t go out in the car. All I hear is the screech of tires and the awful thud and scrape of metal. I thought I was dying. I can see it all before me as if it was yesterday.”
Empathic Response
How terrifying it must be to live through such a shocking experience, even though you were lucky enough to come out relatively unscathed.
Fury
“We have a neighborhood problem here! Yes, we do! A real big idiot lives in that house. A real nut! He trimmed my own yard with a string trimmer and threw stones all over my car. Ruined the paint!”
Empathic Response
So what happened was on several occasions your neighbor damaged your property which, understandably, infuriated you.
Disorientation
“I never meant to get pregnant. I know everyone says that, but I didn’t! I can’t think straight. What about my job and school and all my plans? I feel sick. I feel all the time like I’m going to faint.”
Empathic Response
So, it’s important to you that your life stays organized and goes on according to plan, and pregnancy concerns you because it disoriented you. Reflective Listening III
Fear
“I can tell you now, I just can’t go back there. I just feel as if my husband will kill me one of these times.”
Empathic Response
So right now you feel it would be unsafe to return to your house because you are afraid that your husband will attack you.
Unfairness to the kid
“I can’t stand those people! They made fun of that retarded kid night and day. I hope they get theirs!”
Empathic Response
So you feel that it was unfair of them to take advantage of the kid’s condition and think that it would be fair if they would receive the same treatment.
Achievement
“I’ve been clean for 8 months! If you had told me this would happen a year ago, I’d have laughed in your face.”
Empathic Response
It sounds like you are delighted to see the results of your efforts and that this success inspires you to go on.
Annoyance
“When I was a little kid, my mom and dad got along okay, but now they fight all the time, and my mother says my dad is on drugs and has a girlfriend. Home is like hell.”
Empathic Response
Right now you would like to return things to how they were before when you were not annoyed by the constant tension between your parents.
Confusion
1. “When I took that test, it was really hard. And I guess I was nervous. I mean, I couldn’t think of any of the answers.”
Empathic Response
So, in other words, the complexity of the test was such that you became confused and was unable to complete it, even though you had the right knowledge.
Indignation
“Those guys are lousy! They’re always snickering and making fun of other people, especially people who have a disability. They make me sick!”
Empathic Response
So what happened was you witnessed the unfair treatment of a person with a disability, and this sight understandably made you feel indignant towards the people who did this.
Inferiority
“I know Jim said we could be buddies at swim practice, but I’m probably not as good a swimmer as he is. I feel sort of silly trying to swim with him. Maybe he would like to have a better buddy.”
Empathic Response
I’m just concerned that the fact that you feel inferior to your friend in your athletic performance makes you worry about your friendship.
Unfairness
“This whole setup sucks. This other guy gets the tutor, and the teacher tells me to go home and see if my mother can tutor me. She never had this math. Math isn’t even her thing. Does that make sense?”
Empathic Response
So what you’re saying is the other student gets an opportunity for tutoring while you are unfairly ignored by the teacher and have no other option of tutoring.
Doubt
“Well, every time I go off my meds, I get kind of crazy. My minister is really putting the pressure on me to quit and let God take over my illness.”
Empathic Response
It appears to me that while you understand the risk of stopping taking your medication, you are in doubt because the minister appeals to God as an alternative.
Serenity
“The people at the halfway house are so nice to me, compared to the way things were with my family.”
Empathic Response
It sounds that you feel really relaxed and serene because of the attitudes exhibited by personnel.
Worry
“You have some nerve, having the therapist see my son every week for 6 months, and then you refuse to tell me more than ‘he’s doing better.’ How do I know he’s doing better?”
Empathic Response
So, in other words, you are really worried about the physical condition of your son and such an explanation is not detailed enough for you.
Concern
“I’ve been on the streets since 1972, and I never slept inside a night until now. I don’t know, I just can’t seem to stay out as I used to without getting this cough.”
Empathic Response
So, you decided to change your habits because you are concerned with your cough and think that it makes your previous way of life unacceptable.
Denial
“I can’t believe I was that intoxicated! I just don’t believe it. Their gizmo must have been broken or something. I just didn’t drink that much and I wouldn’t be driving if I had!”
Empathic Response
So, you’re saying that it is unlikely for you to drink that much and take it as a reason to deny the results of a test.
Caution
“You don’t expect us to take Alfred into our home, do you? He is very mentally ill—tore up the house several times. I really—well, I know he’s my son, but I just can’t deal with the way he’s been in the past.”
Empathic Response
You’re really concerned about the consequences of your son’s disorder, which makes you show extra caution in letting him into the house.
Threat
“I can tell you what scares me most. It’s being by myself at the house one night and having him come back. I don’t know if I can go on living there.”
Empathic Response
Can you fill me in on the reasons you feel threatened by the possibility of his return?
Embarrassment
“I just can’t go to class. Not after making a fool of myself the last time. I got every answer wrong when the teacher called on me, and people were making fun…. It was terrible!”
Empathic Response
You must feel uneasy because of the embarrassment you experienced in the situation you describe (Summers, 2016).
Reference
Summers, N. (2016). Fundamentals of case management practice: Skills for human services (5th ed.). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.