My name is John Ogunmileto, I am a 19-year-old student currently living in the U.S. I have spent my whole life in Lagos, Nigeria, and both of my parents were born in Nigeria. My mom is from Ekiti and my dad is from Osun. Both of them created a big and friendly family that I am proud of as we are always ready to help and support each other. I have an elder brother who is 22 years and two junior sisters of 11 and 17 years old. Sometimes, we fight because of small things but generally, we are one strong union that would rather fight for its members with others if needed.
In childhood, I remember I wanted to be the eldest one among children and competed with my brother for being the strongest. My mom has always taught us that every child is equal and that no one was more powerful than another. She said we had to care about our siblings and protect each other no matter what. She was teaching us to be fair, caring, and supportive towards family members, and we indeed learned a lot from her. I remember myself as a happy child.
However, everything has changed since I entered elementary school. For some reason, I became very shy and not courageous enough to talk to peers or teachers. One of the possible reasons that impacted my openness and happiness was the rapid environment change: new location, new rules, and new system. I was prepared for school neither psychologically, nor physically though I remember my mom and dad talking to me about it. However, the beginning of school showed I had some misunderstandings with learning material and that I needed to ask for help.
Surprisingly, I could not talk to anyone about my problems, and now I know it was the key factor to the further worsening of school performance. Agreeing that I did not get anything seemed to me that other people would perceive me as brainless. I was not completely bad at school, some subjects I loved and spent all my energy on. Still, some material was too complicated; I was solving what I comprehended and kept the rest undone. Teachers tried contacting me, and I kept shutting them out. Classmates could not understand me and thought I was weird and foolish. It became only harder to make friends and share my shortcomings. I did not want to disappoint my parents so did not talk to them about school at all.
Later, some peers started bullying me as I did not talk much and kept myself far from others. I was angry at them but kept being speechless and alone. Nevertheless, it could not last for long, and one day my parents saw me crying. They finally managed to melt my heart, and I shared with them everything I felt. I said I felt so weak and miserable, that I was a failure to myself. My mom was always so good at finding the proper words at the right time. She explained that each of us can be weak, and life is never about going up. To grow and achieve, we need to fall, put ourselves together, analyze things, and then keep going on. She said that people needed other people and that sharing is a key to success. Admitting your shortcomings and asking for help is a feature of a strong person, a person that wants to change for the better. This was one of the first things I learned from my experience at school.
I have been missing my mother’s advice, and after a long talk with her, I started opening up to other people. The teachers turned out to be nice and helpful, and some of my classmates became my good friends. I slowly but steadily enhanced my school performance and felt more confident in what I did. It is true about people that most of the problems they have they imagine by themselves. I decided to close myself to others and was afraid to ask for help because I thought others liked me only when I was strong. It can partly be true with insincere people, the ones that need something from you. Still, your family and friends are ready to accept you the way you are, and there is nothing bad in sharing good and bad with them.
I have managed to deal with my bullies by finding the strength to meet them face to face and ask if what they do indeed helped their future lives. They did not expect me to speak so much but I managed to fight my fears and communicate with them as an adult. I explained what I felt and how I wanted to change for the better, become more social, and improve my school performance as I cared for my future outcomes. I thought it would not help but I chose to be the way I am, and it worked. My biggest enemies stopped bullying me and even listened to my opinion. This is how I have learned being open and honest with people was the best way to build relationships and solve issues.
As soon as I fought the obstacles on my way, another hard step began: a change in the environment. We moved to the U.S. on December 15, 2017, and it is hard to forget this day. You might think it was so memorable because of the big changes it would bring to us, but it was not only that. My family and I were preparing for the trip and packing clothes, stressing with documents, and trying to make sure everything was well thought about. However, on day X all the family members managed to oversleep the flight! We were rushing as it was the last race in our lives. I think my heartbeat broke its record that day as I felt how the heart was jumping out of my chest. As we got to the airport, its attendance tried directing us through all procedures fast, but the plane had already left. All my family started panicking and praying to God for a chance to get new tickets. Airport staff kept telling us we had to go back to Nigeria or book another flight.
So, this is us standing in the middle of the airport and trying to get new tickets to the United States. Yes, my family is emotional, panics a bit too much, and sometimes sleeps off accidentally on important occasions. I realized not long ago that I love my family the way it is. With our emotional explosions, prayers to God, and unpredictability. We are so unique, united, sometimes funny, and simple. It is hard not to fall in love with us, that is for sure! Anyway, either prayers or the kindness of airport personnel, or more likely both, helped us to receive new tickets to the U.S. We landed safe and sound on new land with everything being different ever since.
I was devastated for the first time as it felt as if I had to start from zero. New surroundings, school, friends, and rules frightened me. However, I decided to be strong and found something positive in this new step of life. I caught up with the system, and students, and tried building decent relations with teachers and peers. My performance is better now, and I still learn to be proud of myself even when I fail. I know I have a supportive background which is my family, and that any human being has ups and downs.
In periods when I want to feel like a failure I try to focus on the positive things of my life, that even when I thought I was weak in Nigerian school, I was not. I managed to babysit my younger sisters and study at school with some decent marks. I never let other aspects of my life impact my performance in subjects at school I liked and felt confident at. So, everything is becoming clear in comparison: I was achieving and moving on in Nigeria even when I blamed myself for being weak and shy. That was another thing I learned from life. My goal is to study pre-law so I can help people of my native country to know more about their rights and voice out so they can have better lives. I am sure I will achieve my aims and will perform well on final exams. My name is John Ogunmileto, and this was a small piece of my life I wanted to share with you. No one is perfect but we live and learn to make ourselves better and create some worthy changes to the environment and our families.