Introduction
In general, grief is a heavy, dark, bitter, and sometimes extremely painful experience with a sense of irretrievable loss. The loss of loved ones strikes a serious blow to the psyche, which affects the emotional state of the person. It is proven that the perception of adverse events is divided into several stages, characterized by different feelings and actions.
Grief Stages
Denial
Psychologists distinguish different stages; the first is the refusal to accept what has happened and denial, which lasts up to 10 days (Volkan & Zintl, 2018, p. 34). Thus, losing a person seems fictitious, as if everything were a dream. Some people react to this period with a stupor and unresponsiveness, while others do many things simultaneously. For example, they may organize a cafe for a funeral, buy paraphernalia, or comfort someone (Volkan & Zintl, 2018). Such running and fussing is a false emotional reaction of people in the first stages of grief. More than that, some individuals have the urge to commit suicide. This is because one wants to hide from problems and not feel the pain of loss.
Anger
The next stage is rejection and discomfort at losing the closest people. This stage can last up to 40 days, and at the end of rejection, when the psyche of the mourners can “separate” from the deceased, a tradition of holding a memorial service is formed (Volkan & Zintl, 2018, p. 39). At this stage, consciousness understands the loss, but the bodily memory does not yet, and it causes discomfort in people. Because of this difference, deceased people can be seen in the crowd or hear the stomping of their footsteps. That is, a person is mentally accustomed to the death of a loved one but physically does not yet realize it (Volkan & Zintl, 2018). Moreover, as a reaction to the shock at this stage, people who are grieving may dream about the dead, which creates an even greater attachment to them.
Bargaining
The third stage of grief is acceptance and full awareness of the loss of a loved one. This phase, which lasts more than six months, begins and continues in a wavelike fashion, now stronger, now weaker. This is due to the human consciousness, which tries to adapt to grief but does not always succeed. Somewhere in the middle begins a sharp exhaustion, the collapse of strength, and the emptying of people’s inner reserves (Volkan & Zintl, 2018). At this point, there may be anger at those around them, a sense of guilt towards the dead.
Depression
Then the next stage begins, which means depression and grief. This period may last from one month to several years; the degree of awareness is at its peak, and depression sets in. As a reaction to grief at this stage, people do not want to do anything; the world feels insignificant, and people around them seem incomprehensible and obsessive (Volkan & Zintl, 2018). At this stage, it is crucial to prevent complicated grief and, if necessary, even to make an appointment with a doctor.
Acceptance
The final stage is acceptance or consolation, which lasts up to one year after death. During the fifth stage, there is a full understanding that the person is dead in every sense. At this stage, people form new habits and contours of life (Volkan & Zintl, 2018). This period is characterized by a sense of self when grief and anxiety subside and nostalgia sets in. As a reaction to cardinal changes, people regularly change their surroundings.
Preparing for Death
The quality of palliative care and the physical and psychological care of the dying patient depend largely on the medical staff. Communication with the dying patient, which is practically meaningless from a professional point of view, should not be interrupted, fulfilling the function of psychological support for the patient.
Sometimes medical workers, knowing that the patients are dying, begin to avoid them, stop asking about their condition, and ensure that they take medication (Morris et al., 2020). When communicating with dying patients, it is essential not to break the usual ritual, but instead continue to follow appointments, ask patients about their well-being, observe every slight sign of improvement, and listen to patients’ complaints.
Health workers are obliged to provide not only diagnosis and treatment of patients but also psychological support for the dying and their family members. For many patients, the process of dying may be connected with the fear of death, feelings of loneliness and guilt, dependence on family members, and loss of dignity due to their helplessness (Breen et al., 2018). It is often enough to listen attentively to patients to express an understanding of their worries and problems to improve their condition. Therefore, palliative care is a medical and social work field that aims to improve the quality of life of incurable patients and their families.
Advance Care Planning (ACP) is an ongoing process of exploring future care choices. It helps the healthcare team make decisions about care if patients become unable to take action for themselves. These important decisions made early during the illness allow patients and their loved ones to focus on their time together (Breen et al., 2018).
At that time, trained social workers will help patients identify the activities, attitudes, and health goals that are important to them. They will then help fill out advance directive documents appropriate to the patient’s preferences and care attitudes (Breen et al., 2018). Patients can learn about medical treatment options and voice their opinions on treatment methods and outcomes throughout this process.
Irrespective of patients’ current health status, it is essential to ensure that loved ones and healthcare providers are aware of their wishes and values. Therefore, an ongoing process of discussing and documenting these wishes and values regarding health care is a way to ensure that patients receive appropriate care. Although it is essential to consider one’s mortality, patients and their families will find it beneficial to consider the following questions when developing a personal advanced care plan (Breen et al., 2018).
First, they should indicate where they want to receive end-of-life care. For instance, in a hospital or at home, whether they want to be placed on life-sustaining machines or prefer to die as naturally as possible, with special attention to their comfort and family support (Breen et al., 2018). Thus, advance care planning is a critical process for organizing the treatment of patients and planning their last days.
Besides the nursing care in hospice, dying patients also need the support of their caregivers. Accordingly, caregivers should converse with the dying person before the person approaches the last stage of life (Breen et al., 2018). They should also address all of the dying person’s needs. Meanwhile, caregivers should ensure that the dying person receives sufficient care and that their last wishes are fulfilled.
Providing Support After Death
It is crucial to inform the previously mentioned people or the relatives of the deceased about the loss of life. This may involve contacting them quickly with a phone call, a personal visit, or a condolence card. In case of personal notification of the death of a loved one, one should use active body language and eye contact to express support for the loved ones (Aoun et al., 2020). In addition, it is necessary to express clear support and condolences and to ask the bereaved what help they need.
Each person needs individualized support, and depending on their personality, they may require more listening and talking to support them. Another way to express support is to periodically offer a loved one a meeting, a phone call, or to be there for them without words (Aoun et al., 2020). It is not advisable to distract a person from grief by any means. Still, if a loved one is increasingly sinking into despair and sadness, then the person should be helped psychologically. Besides, it is crucial to maintain emotional tolerance, meaning empathizing with the person but not letting emotions win.
Meanwhile, it is essential to offer assistance in organizing the funeral, as the relatives of the deceased may not always be able to resolve organizational issues immediately. Therefore, it is possible to involve a funeral company and call a funeral agent to collect funeral documents (Aoun et al., 2020). Moreover, if the deceased has any wishes regarding the organization of the surgical procession, it is required to inform the specialists and ask them to fulfill them. Furthermore, close relatives should help inform friends and acquaintances of the deceased about the time and location of the funeral to allow them the opportunity to bid farewell.
If the funeral procession requires significant expenses, loved ones must be supported financially in organizing it. In addition, it is possible to help a person receive financial assistance from the state. Since financial assistance for immediate expenses such as funerals is available for bereavement, this assistance can be provided to people who have not reached retirement age (Aoun et al., 2020).
Additionally, the payment amount may be increased if the deceased person’s family has a juvenile or unborn child. Nevertheless, the relatives of the deceased need legal support, which consists of executing a will and settling issues with the property (Aoun et al., 2020). Accordingly, assistance in obtaining financial and legal aid is critical for grieving people who cannot handle this individually.
Helping Children Cope with Grief
For any child, the death of a loved one is a severe challenge. Similarly to adults, children may need help realizing the loss and adjusting to life after it (Walsh, 2021). Therefore, it is imperative to understand that kids also experience grief, and their reaction depends on their age, understanding of death, and the behavior of others. Thus, they also need support, especially frank conversations and demonstrations of understanding. Discussions about death with children can be challenging, which is why it is essential to have an open, honest, and as clear a dialogue as possible while keeping several other things in mind (Walsh, 2021).
First, the child’s age should be taken into account when explaining the details of the death so as not to frighten them. Second, creating a calm atmosphere and preparing napkins and water to comfort the child is crucial. Furthermore, the concept of death should be explained as a natural process (Walsh, 2021). Moreover, it is worth answering all the children’s questions, offering support, and reminding them of the love of others.
In addition, it is crucial to demonstrate to children that they are not the only ones who will experience loss and grief. For this purpose, close relatives need to express emotions, which will set an example of how to cope with difficulties. To support children, sharing personal feelings about losing a loved one is possible (Walsh, 2021). Adults can involve a psychologist if children find it difficult to accept the concept of death. Thus, support is the primary way to help children understand and experience the death of a loved one.
Cultural Considerations in Grief
Individuals belong to diverse cultural backgrounds, which helps them understand the fundamentals of the processes. Accordingly, representatives of various cultures have distinct beliefs about what happens after a person dies and perceive this process differently (Mohamed Hussin et al., 2018). For instance, people may view death as a transition to a better world and not feel strong grief if they believe in an afterlife. In some cultures, people think that the spirits of the deceased stay with them and help the living family members, which is why they do not suffer from grief (Mohamed Hussin et al., 2018). On the contrary, if individuals believe that death is the end of human life and do not support the idea of an afterlife, they feel devastated and completely lost.
Depending on the cultural background of the bereaved, it is essential to accept their concept of death. This will allow us to offer them help based on their beliefs. For example, if individuals are religious, they can organize meetings with a priest or use words from the Bible to encourage them (Mohamed Hussin et al., 2018). On the contrary, when the deceased’s family does not consider the death as a loss of a person but believes that the person will still be present with them as a spirit or will find a better world, it is necessary to support this. Accordingly, support should include assurances that death is a way for the soul to find peace.
Conclusion
In summary, the death of a loved one causes suffering and grief. People experience different stages of grief, ranging from not understanding the situation to accepting it. Furthermore, if a person suffers from an incurable disease and the family realizes that death will not be imminent, they prepare for it. Depending on the needs of the sick person, they are placed in hospitals where they receive palliative care or continue their lives at home. In any case, the patients need constant communication and support.
Many organizational issues arise after the death of a loved one, which is why people need help organizing from friends and relatives. Moreover, financial assistance from the state and legal services are also critical. It is essential to emphasize that children, just like adults, feel sadness and grief from the loss of a loved one and need explanations and assistance. Furthermore, depending on the cultural context, people grieve differently; some believe that the person has gone to a better place, while others suffer longer because they consider that they have lost their loved ones forever.
References
Aoun, S. M., Keegan, O., Roberts, A., & Breen, L. J. (2020). The impact of bereavement support on wellbeing: A comparative study between Australia and Ireland. Palliative Care and Social Practice, 14, 1-12. Web.
Breen, L. J., Aoun, S. M., O’Connor, M., Howting, D., & Halkett, G. K. (2018). Family caregivers’ preparations for death: A qualitative analysis. Journal of Pain and Symptom Management, 55(6), 1473-1479. Web.
Mohamed Hussin, N. A., Guàrdia-Olmos, J., & Liisa Aho, A. (2018). The use of religion in coping with grief among bereaved Malay Muslim parents. Mental Health, Religion & Culture, 21(4), 395-407. Web.
Morris, S. E., Moment, A., & Thomas, J. (2020). Caring for bereaved family members during the COVID-19 pandemic: Before and after the death of a patient. Journal of Pain and Symptom Management, 60(2). Web.
Volkan, V. D., & Zintl, E. (2018). Life after loss: The lessons of grief. Milton Park: Routledge.
Walsh, K. (2021). Grief and loss: Theories and skills for the helping professions. Long Grove: Waveland Press.