Interpersonal relations are a complex process involving several people, each of whom has their own interests. When an individual engaged in the conversation feels as if they were threatened, a possibility of a defensive reaction emerges. As a result, interpersonal conflicts may occur, damaging the relationship. Jack Gibb describes opposition between the categories of defensive and supportive environments. The first group concerns potentially damaging reactions, which entail particular complications in the context of personal relationships. Simultaneously, the second set of categories ensures effective communication between people, which is indispensable in society. Nevertheless, the occurrences of defensive behaviors remain frequent, even though they often remain unnoticed by those who exhibit them. The purpose of this paper is to describe the nature and consequences of such defensive behaviors based on personal observations.
The framework described by Jack Gibb provides a comprehensive understanding of the difference between defensive and supportive environments. Overall, it divides people’s behavioral patterns into two major categories, and each of them comprises six specific points, as presented in Table 1. Each characteristic of a defensive climate has an opposing concept in the category of supportive behaviors. Accordingly, Gibb does not simply describe unhealthy patterns but proposes alternative approaches, which can counteract them. In fact, personal observations suggest that instances of defensive behavior happen often, and, in most cases, individuals do not realize the nature of their actions. An in-depth analysis of potentially unhealthy communication patterns allows for a better understanding of the issues, which may exist in relationships with other people. Gibb’s comprehensive framework can be used in the process of self-reflexiveness both as an analysis model and as a reference point for self-enhancement. An in-depth examination of one’s behavior helps to eradicate profound interpersonal issues and enables stronger ties with others.
Table 1. Jack Gibb’s Categories of Defensive and Supportive Behaviors (Jenkinson).
Having become acquainted with Jack Gibb’s framework, I was able to conduct a self-assessment in order to determine whether I am prone to defensive behaviors. As I analyzed my recent interactions with people who play important roles in my life, I managed to discern a particular pattern. In fact, I am prone to unhealthy behaviors, which fit the Evaluation category, according to Gibb’s paradigm. This issue becomes apparent in the relationship with my best friend, including one of the recent instances. This person is highly important to me, and I enjoy spending time together with them. However, they are often late, which makes me pronounce phrases, which are both evaluating and condescending. One week ago, as I had to wait for my friend for twenty-five minutes, I felt frustrated because it was a cold, rainy day. I felt like that person was responsible for my frustration and remarked that they were always late and disrespectful. In addition, I said that my friend would have arrived more quickly if they had actually been organized and disciplined.
Such situations happen quite often, and we do not usually allow them to worsen our relationship. Moreover, I usually refrain from evaluating commentaries unless I allow external factors to influence my judgment. In the described scenario, the rain contributed to my frustration, which is why it translated into a tense conversation, as I felt like my friend had come on purpose and had not cared about my feelings. Accordingly, that person reacted poorly, as my unjustified evaluation caused a defensive response. They subconsciously utilized the fleeing pattern instead of direct confrontation and attempted to counter my behavior by being distant. This development damaged the nature of our interaction for the remainder of the evening. As a result, a potentially entertaining meeting of the best friends ultimately was sub-optimal.
Accordingly, it is possible to say that my behavior created a defensive environment, which also had an immediate short-term effect. Furthermore, I did not notice the toxicity of such actions due to the overall level of frustration, of which my friend became an unnecessary victim. Fortunately, the long-term effect of this interaction was not substantial, as our relationship has been strong for several years. Nevertheless, the situation could have different with the people I know less, thus preventing potentially strong bonds from developing. Additionally, unless I take measures to avoid such defensive environment occurrences in the future, my relationship with this person may also deteriorate. Gibbs describes an opposition between evaluation and description, and our interactions can benefit from it. In this case, instead of channeling my frustration into personal, evaluating comments, I could have objectively discussed the situation. This way, my friend would have been aware of their lateness, and the lack of additional pressure would help them reflect on the situation instead of being under pressure. I should have mentioned that I had spent twenty-five minutes waiting for them without unnecessary comments regarding the alleged reasons for it.
Conclusion
In conclusion, particular behavioral patterns can create defensive climates in the relationships between people. If one of the parties cannot handle the situation objectively, the interaction acquires a certain level of toxicity, and the quality of the relationship may deteriorate. Jack Gibbs describes a model according to which defensive behaviors can be opposed by particular supportive actions. This model has the potential to ensure positive, mutually beneficial relationships. Therefore, it is important to remain self-aware in order to assess one’s actions correctly and preserve meaningful relationships in modern society.
References
“Gibb’s Communication Climates.” YouTube, 2014, Web.