Introduction
Loneliness is something that many college-aged students can relate to due to a lack of time and money. Some students may start seeking validation and love through unhealthy relationships, as in Jhumpa Lahiri’s “Sexy.” Like Miranda, students may find themselves in self-isolation with few to call “friends.” Lahiri’s “Sexy” should be taught in colleges today because, while it may not be a particularly encouraging story, it allows others to see the effects of self-confidence and loneliness through another’s eyes. Although various works explore similar themes, “Sexy” is a compelling short story that invites students to think critically about how self-confidence and loneliness can impact a budding relationship.
Loneliness as a Relatable Theme for College Students
First and foremost, “Sexy” should be taught in college because loneliness is a feeling many people, especially college students, can relate to. According to a Sodexo Student Lifestyle survey, 53% of college students reported being “currently concerned with feeling lonely” (4). It is an issue most of them are going through, and teaching “Sexy” will help address issues students relate to, making it more relevant in college.
A college student, Peter Biles, also speaks to his loneliness in college and how it affected him and his relationships (Biles). Similarly, in the short story, the protagonist, Miranda, feels lonely and significantly out of place. As a result, she ends up in a relationship with an older married man called Dev. Lahiri attempts to demonstrate in her short story that people can be vulnerable to the wrong relationship due to loneliness. Therefore, when “Sexy” is taught in college, students will learn about the effects of loneliness from other people’s perspectives. It will provide valuable discussion questions that prompt critical thinking about loneliness and its connection to unhealthy relationships among students.
Loneliness Leading to the Formation of Unhealthy Relationships
Secondly, Lahiri’s story should be taught in colleges because it explores how loneliness impacts people’s ability to form healthy relationships. Lahiri uses Miranda to illustrate that the fear of being alone can sometimes compel someone to neglect their own desires and wants to pursue companionship and love from others. One can see how Miranda is desperate to find some human connection when she has a relationship with a man older than her who is married and has a child. For instance, when Dev’s wife goes to India for a few weeks, Miranda agrees to spend almost every night with him. During these nights, Dev explained to Miranda that “he couldn’t spend the whole night at her place, because his wife called every day at six in the morning, from India…” (Lahiri 1195). However, Miranda did not care; she wanted some human connection and always felt lonely.
A similar conclusion can also be drawn from the article “Feeling Low and Lonely.” According to this article, for humans to build and maintain positive, strong relationships with others, they must find motivation (Michalska et al. 1). These motivations include social rejection, personality traits, feelings of loneliness, and love styles. In a study conducted in this article, the findings suggested that there is a positive correlation between loneliness and insecure social attachment, resulting in unsatisfying and unhealthy relationships (Michalskaet al. 4). Therefore, by teaching this short story in college, students will have the opportunity to learn about the adverse effects of seeking validation by getting into a relationship, mainly due to loneliness.
Consequences of Settling for Toxic or Complacent Relationships
Additionally, Lahiri’s short story should be taught in college because it illustrates the consequences of settling for unhealthy relationships out of loneliness. In “Sexy,” Lahirishows how Dev begins to change, becoming unmotivated and apathetic in the relationship that was once the sweetest thing they had ever had. When the relationship started, Dev was always committed to ensuring that Miranda was happy and the relationship was healthy for both of them.
However, over time, it becomes evident that Lahiri portrays Dev as apathetic and unmotivated. Even though Miranda’s lack of close friends pushed her into the relationship, Dev grew complacent because he had a wife and a kid. This is common in many relationships today, as some people settle for toxic relationships with complacent people. In their article, Csajbok and colleagues talk about the benefits of recognizing signs in a relationship that indicate it is harmful, like lack of motivation and apathy(Csajbok et al. 2). Therefore, by teaching “Sexy” in college, students will learn to recognize red flags in a relationship and why they should not settle.
Awareness of Loneliness During Life Transitions
Lastly, teaching “Sexy” in college can encourage students, both in and out of the classroom, to discuss what they encounter in school. According to Zahedi et al., people often undergo numerous social transitions during various stages of their lives. Moving from high school to college, they often experience many life transitions.
People moving to college are usually in their late adolescent stages, linked to structural and social alterations that impact their roles, relationships, routines, and assumptions. While in college, these students find themselves in new roles that require them to individualize and act independently. Even though most of them would find more opportunities in this new way of life, it is often dangerous to let a college student be alone and feel lonely in an environment they are not used to.
This study notes that loneliness is “a condition in which an individual experiences a mental defect in social relationships qualitatively and quantitatively” (Zahedi et al.411). Even though a person can experience loneliness at any point in life, it often occurs when they are away from home or from loved ones. Therefore, teaching “Sexy” college will benefit these college students.
Conclusion
In conclusion, loneliness is a phenomenon that anyone at various stages of life can experience. Many people are lonely because they are away from those they love or away from home. For college students, loneliness is often a result of being away from their friends and in a completely new environment. Due to this loneliness, most of them end up making wrong decisions, including settling for toxic relationships that affect their well-being in the long run. Therefore, by studying “Sexy” in college, students will have the opportunity to reconsider the role of self-confidence and loneliness in their relationships with others.
Lahiri’s story centers on a young woman who enters an unhealthy relationship due to her fear of being alone. Teaching “Sexy” in college will help students learn about loneliness, how it pushes people into unhealthy relationships, and what to do when they find themselves in such situations. To detect and comprehend this theme in “Sexy,” students will be required to think critically and analytically.
Works Cited
Biles, Peter B. “Loneliness at College.” Plough, 2019.
Csajbók, Zsófia, et al. “Six ‘Red Flags’ in Relationships: From Being Dangerous to Gross and Being Apathetic to Unmotivated.” Personality and Individual Differences, vol. 204, 2023.
Lahiri, Jhumpa. “Sexy.” Gottesman, Ronald, et al. The Norton Anthology of American Literature. Ed. Levine Robert S. 9th. New York: WW Norton & Company, Inc., 2017. 1192-1207.
Michalska, Małgorzata M., et al. “Feeling Low and Lonely: Personality Traits, Love Styles, and Social Rejection.”Personality and Individual Differences, vol. 204, 2023, pp. 1–6.
Sodexo. “More than 50% of Gen Z College Students Report Feeling Lonely According to Sodexo Student Lifestyle Survey.” Sodexo USA, 2022.
Zahedi, Hamideh, Mohammad Hasan Sahebihagh and and Parvin Sarbakhsh. “The Magnitude of Loneliness and Associated Risk Factors among University Students: A Cross-Sectional Study.” Iranian Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 17, no. 4, 2022, pp. 411-417.