Introduction
The issue of domestic violence is international because it cuts across all races, classes, religions and gender. Violence against women or women battering has for many years been considered a private issue. Hence, the conspiracy of silence against battered women has made its eradication very difficult due to the trivialization of the issue. However, violence against women is a widespread and frightening issue across the world. The prevalence and form of violence against women vary but the results are physical, psychological, or even death (Ondicho, 1997, p. 24). The rampant cases of battered women have resulted in the recognition of the problem as a social, legal, economic, and political problem. Consequently, many organizations have been set up to deal with the problem and prevent its occurrence.
Many definitions of battered women have been developed. For example, the United Nations General Assembly defined it as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, physical, sexual and psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats such as acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life” (United Nations, 1995). Walker defines a battered woman as one who is subjected to “forceful physical or psychological behavior” usually by a man to coarse her to do according to his will (1977, p. 52). From the two definitions above, it is clear that violence against women occurs to maintain male power and control. It is also important to note that the battered women are in close relationships with the men who batter them such as marriage or dating.
Becoming a battered woman
Women become victims of violence from their spouses or boyfriends over long periods. The men abuse women to maintain the religious and legal traditions that promote the subordination of women. Men believe that they are naturally superior to women and thus women must adhere to their given roles. The notion of male superiority leads to the dehumanization of women and the men use women as targets for their frustration release. Men get frustrations from the community, jobs, or even family and use the women to get off the frustrations from their lives. Thus, a woman is likely to be battered regardless of how she behaves because it is about the perception of the males not the behavior of the woman. The men will use sexual, physical, and psychological abuse over the women and the children just because they can (Walker, 2009, p. 4).
Many women will experience battering in its mild initial stage when tension starts to build up and the women will often assume that the phase will pass. However, it does not and acute battering sets. A woman in the acute battering phase is met with a lot of violence and gets into the last phase- the honeymoon phase. In this last phase, a woman remains calm and loving in spite of the violence she experiences from her husband. A woman who takes the battering calmly now becomes a battered woman.
Reasons for staying in abusive relationships
Economical dependency
Many women go through battering at one stage or another in their lives. The million-dollar question is why do many women opt to stay in abusive relations? This question has many answers and economic reasons are one of them. Many women are economically dependent on their spouses to provide for themselves and their children. They will therefore choose to stay with the batterer because leaving would not be an option for them simply as they would have nowhere to go and provide for their children. Some women may be earning but may not have sufficient funds to maintain themselves. Due to a lack of sufficient or no funds, such women will stay in abusive relationships because they feel powerless. They would not want to subject their children to poverty or even a lower standard of living than they were used to and thus they will take all the violence for the sake of their children. Such women decide to stay because they feel they would be better off in the abusive relationship than if they left.
Self-blame
The other reason is self-blame. Some women believe that the batterer abuses them because they have done something wrong. They believe that they cause the behavior of the batterer by failing to comply with their wishes. Thus, they will not blame the batterer for the abuse and will blame themselves. These women have low self-esteem because they feel like failures for not acting in a proper way to avoid the abuse. They believe their spouses beat or abuse them because they have not made them happy. Thinking like this makes them more dependent on the batterer because they would not want to be left alone and continue to bear the abuse, as they cannot separate themselves from the relationship. If they did so, they would feel as though they have admitted defeat. The self-blame leads to the helplessness that causes the women to believe there is nothing they can do to avoid the abuse because they bring it upon themselves (Walker, 2009, p.8). The women lack the will to take any action to escape from the abusive situation rather concentrates on surviving. They tend to believe no action can rescue them from the abusive situation thus they take none. Instead, they choose to protect themselves and their children the best they know how.
Personal attachment
Some women say the reason why they stay in abusive relationships is the love they feel for their spouses. Some are also very attached to their children and thus they will do anything to maintain the relationship. The two roles- wife and mother are very important and respected in society thus a battered woman will try to live up to the societal expectations of being a good mother and wife. In addition, some women feel they should hold their marriage together and so leaving is never an option. Such women will not even report incidents of violence from their spouses to the police because they would not like to “rupture the carefully nurtured myth of their fine family” (Gelles, 1976, p. 666). Some of the women also hope that one-day the batterer will change and thus try to save their relationship. Furthermore, if the outside world does not know of the existence of violence in a family the battered woman may continue to stay in it because she would not want to upset the positive image outsiders have of her family.
Religious teaching
Some women stay in abusive relationships due to religious teachings. Many religions teach that divorce is wrong and unacceptable to God. This is especially true in Christianity. Many women in this faith will persevere in abusive relationships because they do not want to go against their religious teachings. They feel that the abuse occurs to them because of their sins and thus many will continue to suffer in silence and pray that the violence stops. For example, in Psalm 62 the bible says that a person can pour his or her heart before God thus any problem that a Christian encounter should be directed to God. When other hurts someone they should turn the other cheek. Many women thus take the abuse from their spouses simply because they are turning the other cheek will use this teaching (Briscoe, Moore & Hart, 2003, p. 13). Often this does not happen and those who opt to leave finally decide enough is enough and cannot take the abuse anymore. They leave with scars of physical abuse and at times feel like they have failed in their spiritual duty (Winkelmann, 2004, p. 79). Religion has enabled women to batter with its support of patriarchy. Donash, P and Donash, E (1979) say,
“The seeds of wife-beating in the subordination of females and in their subjection to male authority and control. This relationship between women and men has been institutionalized in the structure of the patriarchal family and is supported by the economic and political institutions and by a belief system, including a religious one, that makes such relationships seem natural and morally just (P.33-4).”
Fear
Some stay in abusive relationships because they fear the social stigma about failed marriages. They are also afraid of losing support from their friends and family.. This fear keeps some women in abusive relationships where they pretend everything is okay. Some have been threatened with violence in case they leave. In some instances, the batterer may threaten to commit suicide hence a woman stays because of emotional blackmail. On the contrary, leaving does not guarantee an end to abuse and thus many women do not see the point of leaving (Walker, 2009, p. 9).
Effects of women battering
Battered women suffer from physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Many women suffer injuries resulting from violence, the figure is high with about 4.8 million injured every year, and 78% of the total of all violence-related deaths in 2005 (Understanding Intimate Partner Violence, 2009, p. 1). The outcome of violence against women is negative for the women in terms of employment, economic independence, and even career pursuits.
Employment and career pursuits
Because of battering, many women lose their jobs or experience problems in their workplaces. The American Institute on Domestic Violence (2010) puts the risk of domestic violence at 94 percent. When the women sustain injuries due to the battering they have to look for safety or shelter away from their spouses. In other cases, the battered women will absent themselves from work to hide their injuries from their colleagues and bosses. Moreover, the batterer may follow the woman to their workplace and threaten them with violence thus making the workplace insecure for coworkers and customers. This may lead to the termination of the women’s employment to maintain security. Consequently, due to absenteeism, the women may lose their jobs or experience pressure from their supervisors about their behavior at work. With these kinds of problems, it becomes very difficult for women to advance in their careers or get promotion opportunities. Thus, violence not only causes job losses but also may lead to career stagnation. The battered women are unable to pursue their desired careers due to a lack of financial support to advance their education that would lead to better jobs.
Economic independence
Battered women often have financial problems because of underemployment or lack of it altogether. This leads to economic dependency and the problem becomes worse when they try to search for economic independence after they resolve not to take the abuse anymore. The battered women may experience a problem while trying to secure employment because they lack support and resources. Due to their financial instability, the women struggle to find housing for themselves and their children. They are unable to secure housing especially due to bad credit history. Unpaid bills also compound the housing problem. However, those with good credit history can find housing easily (Baker, Cook & Norris, 2003). They also experience problems with transportation and meaningful employment.
Battered women syndrome
Women who are battered experience or development post-traumatic stress. The syndrome sets in after a prolonged stay in abusive relationships. The woman in this condition has these general characteristics. 1) She believes the violence is her fault 2) fears for her children’s lives and her own 3) develops an irrational fear of the batterer 4) cannot place the blame on violence on anything else. Women in this situation have often resulted in criminal behavior to save themselves. Some have killed the batterers because they felt it was the only way to protect themselves and their children. The result is serving life in prison, which affects their lives greatly. Defense lawyers have used the battered women syndrome as a defense in court for women accused of partner homicide. The criminal record hinders the women’s chances of meaningful employment in the future once they finish serving their sentences.
Conclusion
Battered women need help and support. Some have learned helplessness and thus will not do anything to escape from the abusive situation. Such women must be empowered to take action and stop the violence from happening to them. Taking them to protective shelters is a good start but not adequate because many ends up returning to the batterers. They need to be supported financially to support themselves and given counseling on how to make it on their own. Women should be discouraged from staying in abusive relations because this leads to a vicious cycle of violence. The girls learn to live with violence from their mothers while the boys learn violence from their fathers (Waites, 1993). I think more stringent action in the criminal justice system should be reinforced to deter batterers and protect women. The conspiracy of silence on violence against women needs to be broken now.
Reference List
American Institute on Domestic Violence. (2010). Domestic violence spillover in the workplace is alarmingly pervasive. Web.
Baker, C.K., Cook, S.L., & Norris, F.H. (2003). Domestic violence and housing problems. A contextual analysis of women’s help-seeking received informal support and formal system response, Violence Against Women 9, 754-783.
Briscoe, J., Moore, B., & Hart, K. (2003). A woman and her God. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson Inc.
Donash, R.E. & Donash, R.P. (1979). Violence Against Wives: A Case Against the patriarchy. New York: Free Press.
Gelles, R. (1976). Abused wives: why do they stay? Journal of Marriage and the Family, 38, 659-668.
Ondicho, T.G. (1997). Domestic violence against women as an obstacle to development in Kenya. Mila, 2, 19-28.
Understanding Intimate Partner Violence. (2009). Web.
United Nations (1995). Violence against women in the family. New York: United Nations.
Waites, E. A. (1993). Trauma and survival: Post-traumatic and dissociative disorders in women. New York: Norton.
Walker, L.E. (2009). The battered woman syndrome. New York: Springer Publishing Company.
Walker, L.E. (1977).Who are battered women? Frontiers: A Journal of Women Studies, 2 (1) 52-57.
Winkelmann, C.L. (2004). The language of battered women: a rhetorical analysis of personal theologies. New York: Suny press.