Introduction
Marriage, also referred to as wedlock or matrimony, is the process of legalizing a relationship between two people in a bond that is socially expected to last until death. However, this duration may be shortened by external factors, such as divorce or separation. The durability of marriage can be affected by mistrust, poor communication, differences in parental styles, financial constraints, and jealousy. On the other hand, most couples consider open and honest communication as the key to marital happiness. To understand why people, enter into the institution of marriage, there is a need to explore its importance and the various individual motivations, including intimacy, starting a family, love, and financial stability.
Importance of marriage
In today’s society, the institution of marriage carries great significance in a person’s life, especially due to the conventional expectation associated with it. Research suggests that married couples are healthier than their single counterparts are and tend to live longer (Stanford and Steams 230). Love and emotional or physical support from a significant other has been directly linked to individuals taking better care of themselves. Although singleness does not increase the chances of premature death, marriage is associated with better health (Stanford and Steams 231). However, marital relationships that are considered toxic and stressful may not have this outcome. Both men and women can be adversely affected by being in unhappy marriages, though the effects manifest in different ways. Psychologists consider marriage as a social construct that is the foundation of the genealogical relations defining kinship (Hliang and Read 62). This statement means that the benefits derived from having a partner and a readily available source of support outweigh social isolation that can be a consequence of being single.
Additionally, marriage is a source of companionship, which can take many forms, for instance, friendship, assistance, physical company, or teamwork. This concept is crucial in solving problems relating to loneliness through continual interaction. Some of the benefits derived from companionship include comfort, encouragement, sexual and romantic gratification, moral and spiritual guidance, physical care, and trust (Stanford and Steams 240). Learning to be good companions of one another is important as a basis for creating a loving family, especially when children are involved.
Symbol of Love
Marriage is considered to be the ultimate symbol of love between two individuals. Loving relationships involve affectionate feelings towards a particular person. Apart from arranged marriages, most relationships are based on mutual love and respect for one another. In Stanford and Stearns’ study of the perspectives of the elderly regarding how to create thriving marriages, most couples equated love to happiness, admiration, and feeling secure and protected (235). In the study, love was ranked the highest value that leads most people into marriages, followed by sharing extensive commonalities. The affection shared by a couple was evident throughout the interview with the respondents expressing love and intimacy.
Additionally, couples considered having dissimilar backgrounds as a basis of growing their love. The differences in upbringing create a sense of adventure during courtship, which led to forming a stronger bond (Stanford and Stearns 229). When asked to advice other couples on love and marriage, the most common responses included creating a sense of humor, maintaining physical contact through hugs and kisses, and showing appreciation and affection both verbally and offering tangible gifts. Keeping a vibrant marital relationship also requires avoidance of unnecessary arguments while being mindful of each other’s health status.
Intimacy
Intimacy is defined as a personal and close relationship with another person that usually manifests as familiarity and affection. Intimate relationships entail a deeper understanding and extensive knowledge of ones’ significant other, coupled with a continuous expression of thoughts and feelings (Stanford and Stearns 238). Furthermore, intimacy has been categorized into nine different dimensions, including emotional, intellectual, sexual, physical or non-sexual, spiritual, aesthetic, and social. Conceptually, intimacy can be considered a basic human need because it originates from the basic need for attachment. In this case, familiarity is not a desire or a want but a fundamental need.
Communicating all the feelings whether positive ones (joy and happiness) or negative mood, unhappiness, anger, and frustrations is considered emotional intimacy while disclosing significant personal information about one another forms the basis of psychological intimacy. However, most couples, when asked about intimacy, often describe their sexual desires, thoughts, and fantasies that are of an erotic nature (Stanford and Stearns 246). In this case, couples desire physical closeness with each other.
Conjugal love usually develops earlier on in one’s relationship, forming the basis of willing commitment with each other, which leads to the development of the personal bond. Research linked intimacy to an in-depth knowledge of each other, meaning that love was a result of knowing a partner’s faults and imperfections and still choosing to care for him or her (Hliang and Read 52). Intimacy is developed over time and spans over the entire relationship. Stanford and Stearns note that most couples expressed their intimacy through a lot of physical contact and gestures used to express appreciation (240). However, the time spent with one another in order to feel intimate differs between marriages, usually involving daily involvement in activities considered enjoyable by both parties
Starting a Family
Traditionally, marriage was founded on procreation, which explains the dominance of arranged unions. In this case, marriage was used as a legal ground for women to bear children with a socially accepted identity (Hliang and Read 52). Gender roles have significant importance in this aspect of marriage. While women are required to take up a motherhood persona, men, on the other hand, are not necessarily obliged to be fathers as seen in the Musuo community of China (Hliang and Read 54). Marriage, in these parts of the world, is considered sacred and a privilege that can be denied to people considered non-aristocratic men. Enslaved women were married off at the discretion of their owners to whomever paid the highest price for the bride.
This cultural practice meant that the right to marry was considered a privilege for free men and women. Although it is evident that men are instrumental in making a woman pregnant, the Musuo community lacked a genealogical kinship needed to relate children born of the same father as relatives (Hliang and Read 55). In contrast, recent times have given significant importance to settling down with one person and starting a family. Although marriage can create financial constraints, children are considered useful in continuing the lineage, making kinship unique in most social systems.
Financial Stability
Psychiatrists have linked peace of mind to financial stability, especially in marriages. Legally, getting married provides numerous financial benefits to a couple such as zero marital tax deduction when transferring assets to one’s spouse and individual retirement benefits can be passed on to a partner in case of death. Additionally, married couples are exempted from paying tax on their inheritance (Stanford and Stearns 230). Normally, property inheritance attracts hefty levies; however, couples can assume ownership of assets gifted to them by their significant other without any financial consequences. Although tax relief might not be a major reason for getting married, it creates a significant impact on financial stability. Moreover, marriage provides financial protection and freedom, especially when both partners receive an income. Having a supportive partner provides a source of motivation to pursue career goals with the prospects of a better income for the whole family.
Conclusion
Marriage is a contractual, legally binding relationship that requires great commitment from both parties to succeed. Its longevity is directly linked to having open and honest communication, while mistrust and jealousy are considered the root causes of divorce or separation. Although society has given significant importance to the institution of marriage, different people have various reasons for entering into this form of commitment. However, some people consider remaining single beneficial to them as opposed to forming a lifelong commitment. Its consideration as the ultimate symbol of love is instrumental in determining whether marriage can thrive or not. The happiest partners express their feelings and affection for one another verbally. Additionally, intimacy, companionship, financial stability, and the need to start a family are the main factors identified by individuals as the motivations for entering into a marriage. Understanding why people marry requires an in-depth analysis of the above reasons, coupled with the different human personalities.
Works Cited
Stanford, Beverly, and Robert Steams. “Perspectives of Elders in Thriving Marriages: On Why their Marriages Thrive.” Journal of Educational Gerontology, vol. 45, no. 3, 2019, pp. 227-243.
Hliang, Chit, and Dwight Read. “Why Marriage? A Question about the Foundations of Kinship.” Structure and Dynamics, vol. 9, no. 2, 2016, pp. 52-65.