Marriages play a very important role in the life of every person. For someone, marriage is one more step to a more serious life. Some people may think that marriages are the gates to grown-up life with its advantages and disadvantages. Someone can truly believe that marriage is something that will make a person better, differ from the rest, and even change everything for the better. However, there are always so many pros and cons about marriages, which need to be discussed.
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First, it is necessary to know when it is high time to get married. Second, it is better to be sure that this marriage is between people who truly love each other. Third, it is preferable to know that both partners are ready for this marriage. Of course, when a person, a boy or girl, is in love, it does not matter of what age he/she is; the only thing that does matter is being together and enjoy every day of life. However, it is not quite reasonable to get married several months after the first date. Young marriages are frequent nowadays, as well as sudden divorces. My personal opinion is not to hurry up and get married, but get to know a lover better, learn his/her habits and preferences, make a career, earn some money for living in order to build a good family for many years, and even forever.
“For the young, marriage is viewed as an important milestone. It is otherwise the fulfillment of manhood or womanhood. Every young boy or young girl anticipate a life of freedom from his or her family household, and independent life in a house where he or she may call their own and with all the pride and privilege that marriage life brings.” (Igbani 15)
The idea of freedom is crucially important, almost for every young boy/girl. Constant control from their parents’ side, desire to spend as much time as possible with the person you like or even love, and to be independent – these are the major points lots of young people are guided by. However, to my mind, it is hardly possible to know for sure that you are really in love with a person when you are at the age of 15 or even almost 20.
Sympathy, desire, and attraction can be easily confused with love. The first days of being together are full of emotions and unbelievable feelings. A young boy/girl cannot imagine this life without her/his lover, so young lovers see the only possible way to stay together – get married. Is it correct and wise? Hardly! At such a young age, it is better to be a master of your own room or your own clothes, for example. Some young people think that if they get married, they will be true masters of their lives. Then, it is necessary to mention that after young people marry, they will also be responsible for their wives/husbands, and it is not independence, but serious responsibility.
Also, it is necessary to admit that today, young people can easily marry a person of the same sex. Gay marriages have become more and more popular. Some countries allow such marriages, so young people can easily create gay families and even adopt children. Young people fall for their emotions and do not take into consideration the opinions of other people, even the opinions of their own parents and relatives. Namely, such haste with decisions, lack of restraint, and daredevilry usually lead to young marriages, and these are not really significant reasons to take such a step as getting married.
Another significant factor of young marriage is a kind of despair when two young people have nothing to do but create a family. Such an obligation is usually caused by unpredictable pregnancy and cultural issues. It is necessary to admit that the 1960s were popular because of young marriages. (Burgoyne and Clark 142) Maybe, young people did not have a clear idea of what contraceptives were created for and where they could buy the necessary things.
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Sometimes, when parents got to know that their daughter/son had sex with another person, they just ordered to get married not to shame their family. In such cases, young families are based on some kind of obligation. Such marriages are not about love; there are all about duties, the duties, which will hardly help to create a united family. Today, young people may not obey all the words of their parents. They can easily leave their homes in order to prove that they will not do something they really do not want to; they try to earn money in order not to be dependent; they choose friends and lovers and take into consideration only their own preferences.
There is one more unpleasant point concerning young marriages – lack of time to make all dreams come true. When people decide to marry, they need to consider their financial positions, count their incomes, and be able to spend money in accordance with their extreme needs. Not every young family can be sure about their parents’ support. It is still necessary to get an education and ascend the career ladder.
Not every young boy/girl will be ready to have his/her own family, support it, and, at the same time, make all his/her personal dreams come true. To my mind, it is necessary to make a career and be sure about your own financial position and only then start thinking about marriage, family, and children. To get an education and take care of a baby simultaneously is not an easy thing, and it is better to decide what issues play a more important role: what is of high privilege and what can be sacrificed.
Lots of young girls do not think about their future and their careers but just follow their desire and feelings. With time, they comprehend what a mistake they have already made and have not got the necessary education. In order not to think that marriage and babies can be mistakes, it is better to think over each “for” and “against” one more time.
However, it is necessary to mention that not every young marriage has negative sides only. Young marriage is not always about sacrifices and choices. Statistics show that lots of young people are happy together and create really good families. There are couples, which created families at a young age. Now, at the age of 50, they have several children and even grandchildren. (Fahey 2001) They have enough time to build a good family, get an education, and earn money.
Of course, there are certainly some restrictions, but still, each member of the family tries to provide the family with the necessary support, care, and love. From time to time, parents can help their children. It is just necessary to explain to them that you are ready for such a serious step, and the only thing you want to ask for is a bit of their support and understanding. In the case when parents and relatives are for such young marriage, a new-built family can last for a long period of time.
Young marriage is not unique in modern society. Tastes differ, and every person can find millions of reasons to marry at the age of 20 or wait several years before entering a domestic partnership. If a boy/girl feels that this is the right person to live together for a long period of time, give birth to babies, and share and support each others’ interests, in such a case, young marriage is not that bad. People are sure about their opportunities and are ready to risk. Yes, marriage is a risk in any case; it does not matter if you are 20 or 30. Marriage is always a step that may lead to hell or heaven, and no one knows where exactly.
For someone, young marriage is a way to happiness and everlasting love, but for me, young marriage is something unnecessary and premature. It is quite possible to cohabit for some period of time, learn how to earn a living, and spend money together. It is never late to legalize the relationships and to marry officially. However, it is better to take a step up than a step-down. This is why any type of marriage: young, old, straight, or gay, should be perfectly planned and well-grounded. Marriage is not the time for doubts. It is a new door, and any person should enter it consciously and willingly.
Burgoyne, Jacqueline Lesley and Clark, David. Marriage, Domestic Life, and Social Change. Routledge, 1991.
Fahey, Marge. “Till Death Do Us Part.” The Washington Times. (2001): 1.
Igbani, B Maduabuchi A. Motherland Afrika: The Footprint of a Generation. AuthorHouse, 2008.