Parents-children relations may be characterized as the complex interconnection of different issues, which are the main patterns in the upbringing process. Monitoring children in public places is one of the main considerations of parents and they try to cope with the problem on the highest level of responsibility. There is a belief that fathers and mothers monitor children differently, as their roles in the family are different, according to social considerations. Children monitoring in public places is dictated by parents’ desire to keep their children safe, but too much care is not the way out and may lead to children’s disability to enter adult life properly.
Mothers and fathers monitor their children’s location and activities in public places differently. It is a proven fact that mothers “monitor children more closely than do fathers” (Bornstein, 2002, p. 254). This difference is caused by the different roles of man and woman in family relations, and the very difference in the essence of male and female genders. Women are more emotional, they perceive most situations with disturbance and thinking about the worst consequences. Men are more loyal in situations, they may control their emotions and have a more realistic look at different affairs. Mothers usually are afraid of their children, while fathers just care about them. Mothers try to prevent all possible dangers, while fathers do not do this with the idea to make children be able to come out of the situations themselves, without outer help. All these differences are described by the different attitudes to the world, by their different essence. The woman is the home keeper in the family, she should care about children and they’re safe, while fathers play with children more and do not keep their minds in constant tension about their safety.
Coming out of the previous discussion, it is possible to conclude that with children’s safety in mind mothers do a better job in establishing and monitoring child safety. Playing on the street, children should usually tell their mothers where they are and with whom, while fathers never ask such questions. Too much care from the mothers’ side is usually not the helping factor in the child’s safety, but vice versa leads to the opposite effect (Brittain & Hunt, 2004). Children, who had overwhelming care from their mothers, usually grow up either “mother sonnies” or occur in unpleasant situations with the desire to escape from their mother’s care. Being watched closely, children are usually tired from it, and the desire to have some freedom may occur in real trouble. The care, in general, is not tried to be contested, furthermore, it should take place, but the measures should be maintained. Fathers never provide too much care to their children, they trust them is some meaning, and this trust is authorized by children as they will try to stay in the field of view and never try to escape from it. So, it may be concluded that mothers’ overwhelming care harms more than fathers’ relevant careless.
Parents try to implement as many actions in reference to the safety of their children, that it seems that there is nothing to advise, but there are actions, which parents should maintain on their children with the safety purpose. Parents shall not allow children to play till night and should watch small children in public places as they may be quickly lost. Parents should also “cultivate a sense of security” (Praise Children for Their Actions, 2007) in children. Children learn from experience (Praise Children for Their Actions, 2007), and watching other people’s experiences may be useful for them, so parents may watch some chronicles about lost children and discuss them. All these measures are useless if there is no trust between parents and their children. The absence of trust is one of the main reasons why parents cannot control their children and why children’s safety becomes in danger. Care is not enough in the question of children’s safety as the absence of trust is the most valuable reason why children come into trouble and influence their further coming out of these troubles. The example may be taken when children turn to strangers, or strangers turn to children and parents are not aware of the situation as they are not trusted. The stranger may gain the confidence of the child and the trouble may be.
So, parents are the main participants in the children’s upbringing. The differences in male and female essence provide the differences in their attitude to children and their safety in particular. Fathers’ and mothers’ different roles in the family also become the reasons for the different attitudes to the upbringing of children. Mothers care more about children, but this overwhelming care does not always come for good, and different bad situations may appear in the future, which may be the result of too much care in childhood. The main issue, which may support the children’s safety, is to make the relations in the family which will be trustful, as trust is of the guarantees of child safety.
References
Bornstein, M. H. (2002). Handbook of Parenting: Practical issues in parenting. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Philadelphia.
Brittain, C. & Hunt, D. E. (2004). Helping in child protective services: a competency-based casework handbook. Oxford University Press US, Oxford.
Praise Children for Their Actions, Not Their Looks. (2007, February 25). The Register-Guard (Eugene, OR), p. G7.