Parenting is a very complex activity. Therefore, parents tend to apply styles that best suit their goals. The child-rearing style applied to a child has an impact on the child’s growth and development. The style employed by the parent(s) can predict the future character of the child.
Such parents completely control their children’s destiny, and they lay down rigid standards of conduct for their children to follow. Such parents do not explain the reasons for their behavior to their children. They express less warmth and affection to their children. They are usually very critical of their children’s behavior, and they do not offer any options to them. Children who are managed under this kind of parenting style are usually punished or scolded whenever they make mistakes.
They only focus their attention on their children’s bad behaviors and pays very little attention to their positive behaviors. As a result, these children have low self-esteem as well as poor social skills. They do not develop independent minds. Therefore, they can not think for themselves (Belsky, Gamble & Robins, 1984).
In this case, the parents have very little control over their children. Such parents make very few rules, and they do very little to enforce those rules. They are not ready to be fully committed to routines, and they also want their children to have freedom of choice. They offer their children many options, even when the child is still too young to make good choices. They do not set consistent expectations and boundaries regarding their children’s behaviors.
They are usually warm and loving, no matter how the child behaves. They choose not to get involved in the child’s behavior and, therefore, do not comment on their behavior. Such children normally grow up to become uncooperative and self-centered. They also grow up to be bossy, and since they are used to getting what they want (Belsky, Gamble & Robins, 1984).
Democratic parents are committed to helping their children become responsible for themselves. They enable them to reflect on the consequences of their actions. They set clear and consistent expectations for their children and explain to them the reasons for their expectations. They also monitor the children’s behavior to ensure that they follow the rules and meet the expectations that they had set for them. Such parents focus on developing positive behavior in their children, and they do this by reinforcing good behavior. They teach their children good behavior instead of punishing them. As the children grow and mature, they involve them in making rules and activities in the family. They give choices to their children based on their abilities. Such children become self-confident and aggressive (Belsky, Gamble & Robins, 1984).
In this case, the parents set rules for their children, but they are more lenient. They let their children explore the world around them, and they also employ disciplinary methods that do not lower the children’s self-esteem. They take time to explain to the children the consequences whenever they fail to follow the rules. Such children become socially competent and independent. They are assertive and can make their own choices (Belsky, Gamble & Robins, 1984).
My parents’ style of parenting is authoritative, and it was influenced by my grandparents’ style of child-rearing. It was also influenced by the need to develop a stable personality in their children as well as the need to make their children more socially competent.
My preferred style of parenting is an authoritative style, given the positive growth and development that I have had through it. I have developed a dependable personality, and I have become socially competent and critical and logical thinker. To reinforce this kind of parenting, I will provide situations that require critical thinking to my children to develop their reasoning and to enhance their problem-solving skills. I will also provide guidance to their carrier developments.
Belsky, J, Gamble, W, & Robins, E. (1984). The determinants of parental competence: Toward a contextual theory. In M. Lewis & L. Rosenblum (Eds.), Beyond the Dyad: Social Connections (Pp. 251-279). New York: Plenum.