Parenting Styles: Essay
The approaches parents use while raising their children significantly impact personalities, world perception, and the future of the latter. Scientific researches examine the influence of different relationship patterns in families and often depends on the parenting styles formed by Californian psychologist Diana Baumrind. Their studies analyzed how children are being treated depending on their parents’ values and expectations (Thompson & Baumrind, 2019). This essay aims to describe parenting styles, reflect on the impact of my family’s upbringing approaches, and discuss how I plan to raise my children.
Parenting includes many activities and decisions that form the child’s personality. Many of them depend on a mother or father’s demands, expectations, and opportunities to spend time with their children. Baumrind defined three basic upbringing styles: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive, and the neglectful one was then added by other scientists (Rajan et al., 2019). The first method is based on strict rules, punishment for violations, and a child’s lack of decision-making opportunity (Thompson & Baumrind, 2019). The second, authoritative style, is applied by parents who give recommendations and set boundaries yet provide more freedom (Estlein, 2016). The third approach includes the least subordination rate, allows children to make their own mistakes, decisions, and receive support from parents only when they ask for it (Estlein, 2016). The last method is defined by the least interaction in a family when a child is not limited by any rules yet does not receive help in difficult situations (Rajan et al., 2019). These styles determine how grown-up individuals make decisions, trust others, communicate, influence their self-esteem, and form life expectations.
As an adult with a formed personality, I can now reflect on how my parents raised me and explore how their attitudes and requirements affected my self-esteem and formed traits, and influenced my decision-making. My mother and father were equally involved in upbringing, however, their parenting styles were different. The variety of methods they applied profoundly influenced my behavior as a child and helped me develop good traits.
My mother’s style of managing me in early childhood was authoritative as she guided me without strict rules and punishments. For example, I was not allowed to go out without her permission, and once I did, I got lost and scared. I learned the lesson through my own experience, and my mother did not use any disciplinary measures. High responsiveness to a child’s requirements is distinctive for the authoritative style as parents tend to spend time with the children and fill their needs (Thompson & Baumrind, 2019). My mother paid attention to most of my requests because she wanted to explore my character, strong traits, and weak points. I tended to ask to spend time with other children frequently, and it helped my mother discover that I was an extravert, thus being around others can help in my development.
My father’s upbringing manner was permissive as his attitudes towards communication with me included no strong subordination. He always treated me like a grown-up, asked questions, and smartly talked to me, forcing me to act more responsible. Moreover, I always knew I could share any story or secret without being punished. Parents who utilize indulgent style are highly responsive to their children’s emotional requirements (Estlein, 2016). My father always did his best to fill my needs and provide me with any experience or material object I asked for. Although I knew that my demands would be heard, I learned that I respect my parents’ limits.
My mother and father’s parenting styles formed some crucial personal traits and behavioral patterns I unconsciously follow. I am a mentally strong person, and I do not blame others for my failures. However, my self-esteem is not stable as my permissive father’s approach to treating me as a smart person when I was not one makes me question my abilities. My decision-making manner is confident as I was taught that it is necessary to take action and take responsibility for them to live successfully.
My parents relied on their own childhood experiences, my character, their opportunities, and expectations about me while upbringing. In contrast, I have enough time and knowledge to think of the parenting styles I would apply to my children. The modern world provides people with many opportunities to raise children with well-developed characters, stable self-esteem, and the right attitudes towards others. In my opinion, the most profound parenting methodology defined by Baumrind is the authoritative one. The style includes careful treatment of a child’s needs and set boundaries to help raise an independent individual (Thompson & Baumrind, 2019). I will try to manage my children democratically to let them have the freedom to make decisions and be responsible for the outcomes and mistakes.
Parenting styles can help raise an independent individual who will become a valuable member of society or an adult incapable of dealing with daily challenges. Modern studies determined upbringing approaches and examined the outcomes to make parents aware of the benefits and drawbacks of setting strict rules or providing their children too much freedom. My personal experience explained the reasons for my adult attitudes and made me think of the parenting style I would choose to raise decent children.
References
Estlein, R. (2016). Parenting styles. Encyclopedia of Family Studies, 1-3.
Rajan, S., Navaneetham, J., Marriamma, P., & Muralidhar, D. (2019). A review of scales of perceived parenting style. Journal of Mental Health and Human Behaviour, 24(2), 73-77.
Thompson, R. A., & Baumrind, D. (2019). Ethics of parenting. Handbook of Parenting, 5, 3-33.