Introduction
Active listening is the most important coaching competency. This communication technique enables coaches to enter the world of their clients’ emotions and ideas to assist them in undergoing the desired quality transformation. Active listening avoids judgments and multitasking but endorses summarizing and paraphrasing clients’ messages and focusing on their body language. Although this technique is challenging, it is a fundamental aspect of coaching that drives the client’s self-actualization needed for transformation.
Hearing vs. Listening
Effective communication is a two-way activity that requires both listening and speaking at the same time. It usually is not enough to hear what others say to evaluate and understand their thoughts and feelings. Hearing is the ear’s physical ability to catch and perceive sounds and noise produced by the environment (Livingsta, 2020). In other words, hearing is an involuntary, passive, and background process available to everyone who does not suffer from hearing problems. For instance, someone who is focused on reading a book at home may catch the sound of the television, music coming from the living room, or talking. These sounds may be heard but remain unnoticed because of a lack of concentration and interest.
On the contrary, listening is a conscious act that requires focus and care to comprehend and understand what is being heard or said. It is an active and intentional process of analyzing and adding meaning to the speaker’s words. To interpret and respond, a person should be focused and engaged in conversation, ignoring other tasks or sounds (Livingsta, 2020). When people multitask during a workplace conversation, they usually misunderstand a part of the information received and show a lack of respect to others. Thus, the main difference between these processes lies in their contrast nature (physical vs. psychological).
The Essence of Active Listening
In general, active listening requires observation of non-verbal behavior, attention, message acknowledgment, and respect towards the client. According to Jonsdottir and Fridriksdottir (2019), it is a two-sided phenomenon incorporating a listener’s attitude based on conviction or perspective and specific technical skills. To break it down, attitude is an interest in the speaker’s message expressed by respectful and empathetic conduct.
In contrast, technical aspects involve repetition, contemplation, asking pertinent questions, use of silence, and physical expressions (eye contact). The ICF (n.d.) defines active listening as the “ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and to support client self-expression.” Active listening is possible only if the receiver is present, entirely focused on conversation, paraphrases, and reflects the speaker’s message without judgment, ideas, or opinions.
Body language is also crucial due to its ability to show the receiver’s interest and facilitate the dialogue. For instance, an active listener should stand or sit closer to the coachee, hold eye contact for a longer period than usual, mirror facial expressions, and incline head towards him/her. These basic elements will help the listener to show interest/respect and read the speaker’s non-verbal messages that reveal his/her real thoughts and feelings. It is also essential to have a friendly and eased tone of voice while giving feedback or asking questions. Good coaches provide a wait time for the speaker to think and respond appropriately, avoiding stressful situations.
Transformative Coaching
Coaching aims to help the client develop new skills, better themselves, and bring about desired changes. Transformational coaching is more challenging as it focuses on the way people see themselves instead of their further actions and steps. Changes occur every day, whereas transformations are rare. The dramatic change in character or form involves an ontological approach to dealing with “being” rather than “doing,” enabling the coachee’s self-actualization (VanderPol, 2019). Instead of finding strategies to achieve a specific goal, the coach attempts to dive deeper into an individual’s perceptions of who he/she is and desires to become.
What is more, facial expressions are responsible for 55% of meaning in a conversation, while spoken words bring only 7% of important information (Findlay, 2020). Another 38% of meaning can be extracted from the way words were presented. For that reason, active listening is vital in coaching as it helps to listen at a meta-level and read between the lines taking into consideration the speaker’s body language.
Active Listening and the Transformative Process
An experienced coach would quickly identify clients’ insincerity or uncertainty by analyzing their tone, facial expressions, posture, language, and relations to the story. Hence, active listening bolsters the connection between coach and coachee and ultimately helps achieve the desired outcome. Its toolkit enables coaches to establish a sound environment to encourage continuous self-reflection and problems solving of clients. The spirit of collaboration, absence of judgment, and knowledgeable guidance drive clients to break free from emotions and thought patterns that have hindered their transformation for a lifetime.
Conclusion
To conclude, in contrast to hearing, listening is a voluntary and active process that requires the listener’s attitude and special communication tools. Active listening is a communication technique that focuses on the context of a person’s desires to spur self-expression. Transformational coaching is more profound and more comprehensive than life coaching as it deals with individuals’ inner perceptions and patterns. With the help of active listening, coaches can understand the meaning of client’s words by analyzing their words together with behavior and body language. As a result, it enables self-reflection that is crucial for further transformational process.
References
Findlay, M. (2020). Transformative coaching at work: Book review of “Coaching with impact at work” by Gill Graves. Psychreg.
ICF. (n.d.). ICF core competencies. Web.
Jonsdottir, I. J., & Fridriksdottir, K. (2020). Active listening: Is it the forgotten dimension in managerial communication?. International Journal of Listening, 34(3), 178-188. Web.
Livingsta. (2020). The difference between hearing and listening. ToughNickel. Web.
VanderPol, L. (2019). A shift in being: The art and practices of deep transformational coaching. Imaginal Light Publishing.