Introduction
To begin with, I have always struggled with listening to other people since sometimes it seems highly challenging for me to concentrate on the flow of their speech. As a result, after rating my social behaviors based on Hoppe’s (2007, p. 10-11) test, it became clear to me that I indeed had specific problems with listening. To be more exact, I often focus more on my thoughts and what I plan to say next rather than on a person’s speech. Furthermore, I lack concentration and often forget crucial information that my interlocutor has mentioned before finishing the story.
Additionally, I seem to be hasty with my conclusions and trace my habit of interrupting a person and suggesting solutions before one explains the whole situation. Another critical point is that it appears challenging for me to understand my interlocutor’s feelings and emotions, and I cannot do anything to help him unwind, so instead, I suggest not feeling this way. I also avoid sharing my personal feelings and emotions and prefer to keep my problems to myself. Consequently, it appears that I have acquired neither listening nor speaking skills since I fail to support the conversations with my ideas along with listening to other people talking.
Applying Active Listening Skills in Conversations
Having researched the skills involved in active listening, I have tried to apply my knowledge in conversations with my friends, groupmates, and family. For instance, at the beginning of the week, I noticed that my mother was tense and anxious, so I decided to talk to her and understand the reason for her mood. She was upset due to an issue with her colleague, who was distracting everyone from their responsibilities with her rude behavior. To be more precise, we talked for half an hour, and during this time, she shared her emotions and feelings regarding this issue. Overall, as recommended by Hoppe (2007, p. 12) and Shafir (2003), I managed to “focus on the moment” to identify crucial information so I could summarize it and see whether I understood the situation in the right way. Moreover, I opted for clarifying the moments that seemed confusing for me to realize the issue entirely.
In addition, I also had a chat with my friend regarding preparing a presentation for our project. Mostly, I wanted to hear his suggestions, ideas, and thoughts on adequately structuring the data to get a higher grade. We also intended to focus on methods of providing the information in an understandable way for our groupmates. By and large, my main aim was to reflect my mate’s perspective by paraphrasing his ideas to show him that I was indeed engaged in the conversation. This way, he realized my genuine interest in his viewpoint regarding slides’ design, sequence of information, and references’ choices. I also attempted to follow Hoppe’s (2007) recommendation about the necessity to “introduce ideas, feelings, and suggestions” to create an efficient plan for our further cooperation on the task. Overall, I believe I have succeeded in applying crucial listening skills in our conversation, such as reflecting and sharing.
Unfortunately, I did face challenges in my discussion with a groupmate during a lesson this week. The first feeling I felt after our encounter was frustration; however, I further opted for analyzing the situation and realizing my critical mistakes. Our teacher asked us to provide opinions regarding the same topic and, consequently, defend our positions with evidence. I was highly engaged in listening to my opponent first and summarizing his primary ideas and thoughts on the topic. I asked my groupmate to draw a brief conclusion to perceive his viewpoint to discuss it further correctly. Nevertheless, I was so focused on my disagreement with his opinion that I failed to realize the critical evidence for his perspective. My main issue was not acknowledging the possible difference between our ideas and him not being necessarily wrong. As a result, I lacked empathy and could not “indicate an open mind” to avoid criticism and arguing in the process (Hoppe, 2007, p. 18). Overall, my inability to be an active listener resulted in a low grade and additional assignments for my inappropriate behavior.
Understanding the Significance of Active Listening Skills in Leading Positions
Ultimately, to advance listening skills, one should learn the six primary rules: paying attention, holding judgment, reflecting, summarizing, clarifying, and sharing. Nevertheless, most aspects include basic courtesy everyone should be familiar with to engage in effective conversation. In addition, according to Barker & Watson (2000) and Burley-Allen (1995), it is crucial to be patient and not overreact while facing disagreements, cultural differences, or distinct perspectives on the situation. Hoppe (2007, p. 24) recommends “giving the other permission to call one on interrupting” to advance an individual’s patience during social interactions. I consider such advice beneficial as people sometimes fail to notice that they interrupt their interlocutors due to their habits.
Another critical point is that skills in active listening are highly beneficial for building solid relationships with other people that allow one to occupy leading positions efficiently. In other words, active listeners view social interactions as meaningful and opt for acquiring helpful knowledge and insights during these conversations. Consequently, functional listening skills can be considered a critical aspect of productive job performance for leaders in the modern world.
References
Barker, L. L., & Watson, K. W. (2000). Listen up: How to improve relationships, reduce stress, and be more productive by using the power of listening (1st ed.). St Martins Press.
Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The forgotten skill: A Self-Teaching guide (2nd ed.). Wiley.
Hoppe, M. H. (2007). Active listening: Improve your ability to listen and lead (1st ed.). Pfeiffer.
Shafir, R. Z. (2003). The zen of listening: Mindful communication in the age of distraction (New edition). Quest Books.