Often people do not even know the meaning of the words they tend to use; this fact leads to misunderstanding, ambiguity, or creates a fundament for jokes and mockery. No one likes to be mocked; therefore, people try to avoid unclear or unknown words. Polite people use simple words if they see that the interlocutor does not recognize the meaning of what you say. Today the term ‘love’ has become one of the most frequently used and misused of words, a word to which we attach quite different meanings.
What meaning do you attach to the term ‘love’? We use ‘love’ when expressing positive emotions towards another person or creature, or even a thing which can be easily replaced by ‘like, be fond of, need, prefer, require, cherish, adore, caress, fondle’ and some other words which fit the conversation better. Another meaning consists in making the person confident in your serious intentions feel at ease, and create joint plans for the future.
An alternative way of considering ‘love’ was suggested by Pope Benedict XVI who introduced the threefold nature of love, where agape, eros, and logos are different expressions of ‘love’. Agape means the self-sacrificing feeling when a person can be happy only when he/she will give instead of taking; it usually stands for parent-child, friendly love. Eros means the concept of taking when a person should know about someone’s feelings without giving anything in exchange. Logos does not have to mean the “word”; it can stand for a thought, idea, or concept, but it signifies the notion of God’s love.
Contemporary men and women who are preparing for the sacrament of marriage do not always realize the responsibility of taking such a serious step; they do not recognize the genuine sense of the word ‘love’. When a husband says “I love you” to his wife, it does not have to mean “Thank you for a delicious supper”. It should mean “Thank you for being my friend and my lover, my critic and my advisor; I really appreciate that you are with me when I need it, that you support me in all my undertakings. I want to fall asleep and to wake up together with you till the rest of my life”. Maybe this is too much, but people who are getting prepared to the marriage or have already got married should express both agape and eros in order to reach the harmony of relationships.
When you feel agape, eros will find you because every good deed is valued by God. A person, who does not know how to give, shall never receive anything back. People who are preparing for the sacrament of marriage should learn the basic principles of mutual respect, support, and sacrifice. God teaches us to love because we want to give instead of receiving. As you can see, these principles are connected in order to be our life companions.
The first thing men and women should learn is the logos; when we love God we forget about egoism and self-love, consequently, we learn how to love others. Marriage is the process of cognition: people learn how to respect others’ feelings and emotions, intentions and decisions; how to be helpful without being asked for help; how to be happy by making another person happy. When you reach harmony in your soul and stop thinking about yourself only, you will have a lasting marriage.