Sometimes, relationships get broken for seemingly no reason; you just abruptly drift away from each other. Indeed, even the closest of people can grow apart without a reason and that is it. That is what we have to accept as we move on with our lives, and not let it haunt us into avoiding new relationships.
As we progress with our growth throughout life, we develop new habits and traits – and that relates to the emotional aspect of our personalities, too. Changes in character are fundamental to our nature – as Ginor (2017) states, our environment, our society is the very drive for the evolution of our personalities, especially in the adulthood. Thus, it is completely normal to grow past some relations with our friends or family, as we acquire new patterns of behavior and social aptitudes. Moreover, we might also grow out of the interests we previously shared with others, which is especially relevant today, as we have so much information and knowledge at our disposal. Everyone changes with time, and if these changes between previously close people happen to not align anymore, then it is perfectly normal to grow distant over time.
I have had a friend whom I thought was my soulmate – we shared so much in common, and we always had something to talk about. However, as the time went, I have noticed that the periods of silence between our conversations stretched and grew, until one day, the silence was never breached anymore. After almost two years of grieving this lost friendship, I came to a conclusion: it was never my or her fault. We just grew out of each other, and now I can accept it, letting go of my grief, cherish my time with her, and move on forward.
That is what I am encouraging you to do, too: stop looking at your broken relationship from the point of grief and try to emphasize with it. By looking at a broken relationship from this perspective, you might find the strength to stop feeling guilty about yourself – or angry about the person you lost – and actually cherish the time you had together.
So, to conclude all that was said: in order to be able to move on, you need to accept the loss of your relationship and let it go. Every experience matters, but only if you learn from it and embrace the outcome, and that applies to interpersonal connections, too.
Reference
Ginor, F. (2017). Sociological work: Method and substance. Routledge.