In his dissertation, Adesanya, (2019) focused on Associations between healthcare utilization factors and diabetic retinopathy among adult African Americans. The second paragraph of the paper states:
“Uncontrolled DM, irrespective of its type, can lead to macrovascular (large vessel) disease affecting the heart and arteries, and microvascular (small vessel) disease affecting the eyes, kidneys and nerves (Beckman & Creager, 2016; Chawla et al., 2016; Ozawa, Bearse, & Adams, 2015; Solomon et al., 2017; WHO, 2018). DM is associated with concordant comorbidities, such as hypertension and hyperlipidemia, that are major intermediate factors in the development of macro- and microvascular diseases (Abdulghani, et al., 2018; Atchison & Barkmeier, 2016; Beckman & Creager, 2016; Cheng et al., 2014; Klimek, Kautzky-Willer, Chmiel, Schiller-Frühwirth, & Thurner, 2015; Lin, Kent, Winn, Cohen, & Neumann, 2015; Magnan et al., 2015).
The paragraph meets the criteria for scholarly writing when evaluating four areas: argument, evidence, paragraphs, and voice. In regards to sections, it is well organized and includes one point.
The argument is the ability of the writer to develop a perspective on a topic. For example, in the selected paragraph, the point of view is the impact of uncontrolled diabetes on the enlargement of blood vessels and the deteriorating effects on other organs, such as the heart (Adesanya, 2019). Moreover, researchers should ensure that all their work is evidence-based and that the sources are scholarly and peer-reviewed (Walden University). The paragraph excerpt shows that Adesenya (2019) used several scholarly sources to justify each of the claims implying that he did not write about mere opinions. The other point to consider is the voice which considers the audience, uses a formal tone and word choice, remains objective, and is concise despite varied sentence structure (Walden University, 2020). Noteworthy, in the selected paragraph, there is no slang or usage of non-academic language, the only abbreviation used is DM, and it was defined the first time it appeared in the paper.
The work aligns with the learning resources included in the module about writing scholarly work. For instance, the paper has an introduction that provides a background of the study, the research hypothesis, methods, results, and analysis and ends with the implications for findings and recommendations. Moreover, the scholarly sources are recent and correctly cited in the text, and a bibliography list is provided at the end. Overall, the work is well organized, with a firm academic command and relevance to the existing body of literature.
References
Adesanya, O. (2019). Associations between healthcare utilization factors and diabetic retinopathy among adult African Americans (Doctoral dissertation, Walden University).
Walden University (2020). The 4 areas of scholarly writing in 4 minutes or less: Video transcript. Crash Course in Scholarly Writing