Business e-mail
First illustration
To: capmbs@mail.com
Date: 08.06.2010
Sub: Release of 5% Retention Money held by you for on our supplies of Plastic ducts in conformity to your Purchase Order CAPMBS/ PD/ 134051/ 2008 dated 12.01.2008 and inspected with your Materials Receipt Note Ref. CAPMBS/MRN/
134051 dated 21.0.2008
Attn: Chief Procurement Officer/ Asst. Accounts Officer (Bills) Section.
Dear Sir,
You had placed your esteemed Purchase Order as referred above for the supply of 144 Gross (double open) plastic ducts conforming to ISO Standards and your specifications, tensile strength, water, heat and fire-resistant materials for defense applications.
We were pleased to supply you the above materials vide our Invoice and delivery note KCC/Inv. 045213 dt. 19.01.2008 and have supplied to your site stores on 21.01.2008. The entire shipment was inspected by your inspecting department and accepted by your stores.
As the terms of supply envisaged 95% payment against invoice and balance within 2 years, we had raised our invoice for payment for the first part of 95% which was duly received by us on 31.01.2008.
Now, we would like to present our Supplementary Invoice KCC/ inv. 045213/SI dt. 21.01.2010 towards the release of the Retention money as per terms of the contractual agreement with you, which stipulates that the balance money would be released after a lapse of 2 years on the original supply date.
We would like to remind you that 2 years have already elapsed from the date of original supplies made under the subject Purchase Order. May we, therefore, request for the release of pending amounts against our subject bills under reference.
Thanking you and assuring you the of our best services,
Regards,
Sincerely,
Sales Manager (Defense Installations)
KCC- DGS&D Supply Contract Office.
Goodwill e-mail
Second illustration
To: greenwatersco@hotmail.com
Date: 08.06.2010
Sub: Opening of new Electronic Showroom at New Market Complex on 24.6.2010 at
10.00 AM
ATTN: Mr. Samuel Wade, General Manager
Dear Mr. Samuel,
Sub: Opening of new Electronic Showroom at New Market Complex on 24.6.2010 at
10.00 AM
On behalf of the Management Committee, Board of Directors, executives, officers and staff members of this Company, we would like to invite your kind self for the opening of our new Showroom at the Mezzanine floor of New Market Complex on 24.06.2010 at 10.00 AM. This new showroom would have a full array of electronic and non-electronic consumer goods not only of local make but also imported from European destinations under license. Besides, many electronics in demand and produced by our unit at Solan, Himachal Pradesh, would also be displayed for sale.
Each visitor would also receive a special memento, irrespective of the number of purchases made. Besides, there would also be a raffle draw and prizes could be selected by the lucky winners themselves on the spot.
Hon’ State Minister for Civil Supplies and Consumer Affairs, Alexander Thomas has consented to be the Chief Guest on this solemn occasion.
We would request your benign presence to grace this occasion.
Thank you,
With sincerest regards,
Cordially,
James Kilpatrick
General Manager
Analysis
The first email is a formal business email that needs to use the formal and courteous language since the recipient may not always be known to the writer, and thus no liberties in writing styles, or formats could be gained.
The introductory portion is as in any email communication. It is necessary to pinpoint the recipient to whom this email is addressed since this may be a common email address used by all staff members of the organization.
Since the company to whom this email is intended is a large one, it is necessary to give full details of all business liaisons conducted with them with full details for processing and release of pending bills. Besides, the business email must also state its main purpose. “Any action that you want the reader to do should be clearly described, using politeness phrases” (How to write email: Email guidelines, 2010, para.7). The tone and flow need to be smooth and soft, so as not to impose anything on the recipients, which is not what this mail is intended for.
It just needs to serve as a gentle reminder for the release of balance 5% retention money, and it has been able to achieve a large degree of success in this regard.
The principles used were in terms of simple and compact style and neither of the languages was too verbose nor heavy business styled or was in a light-hearted vein.
The tone has been remarkably business-like, at the same time providing a hint of informality and friendliness that could serve the intended purpose.
Coming to the second letter, it is evident that the people in question, the sender and the recipient, are known to each other and thus matters are easier than if they were total strangers as in the first case. The tone is of a non-business kind and borders on familiar grounds. For instance, the initial salutation is addressed as Mr. Samuel and not Sir. Thus, this mail serves as a distinct marker requesting for participation in a social gathering and yet retaining its courteous and affable tone and flow till the very end.
The underlying principles that were used for these emails were in terms of an informal and pleasant tenor that could appeal to the senses of the recipient and goad them into action. ”Thus your email compositions should be different from both your paper compositions and your speech” (Sherwood, 1995, para.7).
Reference List
- How to write email: Email guidelines. (2010). ILL.
- Sherwood, K. D., (1995). Beginner’s guide to effective email: What makes email different? Web.