Love is something that may save the lives of many people, may help to support disabled spouses and be ready for numerous difficulties and stresses. Of course, when you are too young and not sure about personal emotions and feelings, it turns out to be rather difficult to agree and take care of a disabled lover without any doubts. However, I cannot but agree that such caregiving provides people with one more opportunity to deepen relations and make them really strong. New feelings, another attitude to the same situations, and unbelievable trust – these are the major characteristics of caregiving. In order to decrease possible stress and make the caregiver be sure about personal abilities and readiness to help a disabled lover, there are so many techniques, lots of professionals are eager to share with their readers: divide duties, not to care too much, promote to self-developing, etc.
Being a caregiver is not an easy task – lots of people are just not ready for these duties, some people cannot demonstrate their thorough grasp of the affair, and someone just does not want to devote all their lives to caring for one and the same person. This is why, sometimes, caregiving may cause certain stresses, and it is very important to be ready to cope with, at least, some of them. First of all, it is necessary to define the relations between caregivers and those people, who receive this care. When these relations are settled, it is high time to think about the motives, which focus on human feelings. And it is not only about some kind of obligation; it is much more important to take care of self-directed motives (Beneken et al, 2008).
Caregivers are those people, who aim to pay bills, give medicine, go shopping to provide the spouse with food and water, cook, and do the house. Of course, these duties cannot serve as an inspiration to enjoy this life day by day, this is why stresses are something that is hard to avoid. Lots of researchers state that emotional help is one of the most important types of help because only friends, family, and lovers can provide the ill person with it. (Chadiha & Morrow-Howell, 1996). Of course, caregiving cannot cause numerous and time-consuming depression, but still, the idea of providing only the best care for a spouse or loved person requires frequent sacrifices at the expense of personal needs and physical condition. In order not to be angry or feel a kind of spiritual bankruptcy, it is better to choose some activities in order to have rest and be helpful to an ill person. It is possible to play cards, watch TV, discuss some themes, or even read books aloud. All these simple techniques turn out to be rather helpful for both caregivers and care receivers. Even more, if a person takes care of a loved person, they get more chances to check their feelings and comprehend what exactly may unite them. Of course, it is not necessary to become an invalid in order to be sure that a person you adore has the same feelings to you, but still, caregiving provides people with one more chance to comprehend whether their relations are true.
Nowadays, the term spouse has a bit different meaning than several years ago due to frequent relations between people of the same sex. (Hooyman & Kiyak, 2008). However, caregiving does not depend on gender, race, and age. It should happen more on an emotional level, and then, should be supported on a physical level. It is also necessary to find out the differences between the words “caring” and “care” and, at the same time, clear up that they are both the most “freighted in the English language. Like magnets, they attract the noblest images and concepts.” (Gordon et al. 1996) This is why the brightest images are chosen by the caregivers, the fewer chances they have to feel stress. So, it is better to think about caretaking like something that is really significant, wonderful, and obligatory to make this obligation like one more adventure with your lover.
Reference List
Beneken, D., Kolmer, G., Tellings, A., Gelissen, J., Garretsen, H. & Bongers, I. (2008). Ranked Motives of Long-Term Care Providing Family Caregivers. Journal of Pediatric Psychology, 33 (3), 279-291.
Chadiha, L.A. & Morrow-Howell, N. (1996). Support Systems of African-American Family Caregivers of Elders with Dementing Illnesses. African American Research Perspective.
Gordon. S., Benner, P. E. & Noddings, N. (1996). Caregiving: Readings in Knowledge, Practice, Ethics, and Politics. University of Pennsylvania Press.
Hooyman, N. R. & Kiyak, H. A. (2008). Social Gerontology: A Multidisciplinary Perspective. Pearson Education.