Introduction
At different stages of adulthood, children tend to display their attachment to their parents in different ways, and a critical examination of these patterns provides insight into the functional development of an individual’s social and cognitive skills. A qualitative understanding of a particular stage of growing up in terms of attachment relationships helps the parent, caregiver, or guardian to build communication with the child more effectively. The central thesis is that children’s attachment relationships with adults are dynamic, and learning about these relationships has complex benefits for the child’s harmonious development. The present critique letter seeks to explore this issue.
Attachment Relationships in Children
It is essential to shed light on how children’s attachment to adults is viewed and why it is considered the norm. Bakermans-Kranenburg (2021) writes that “attachment relationships should provide security, increasing the child’s chances of survival and reproductive fitness” (p. 2). The founder of attachment theory, on the other hand, is traditionally considered to be English psychiatrist John Bowlby, who pointed out that a child’s attachment to parents serves a significant function in helping to socialize the child’s personality (Reisz et al., 2018). Bowlby believed that children are born biologically programmed to seek attachment among adults because it provides protection and human development. Evolutionary theory noted the property of monotropy in which there is a single figure of a significant adult who is the object of attachment in the eyes of the infant (Bakermans-Kranenburg, 2021). Indeed, the status of a significant adult may change over time between different people, but if such a person is ignored by the child, it becomes a cause of severe psychological trauma in the future.
This knowledge was supplemented by Mary Ainsworth, who conducted a series of experiments showing that there are four types of attachment. The first of these, secure, occurs when there is harmonious communication between a significant adult and the child, and the child receives care and attention from that parent (Cherry, 2020). The second, anxious-avoidant, consists of the absence of any care at an early age, with the result that the child, growing up, does not seek affection. In between is a third type, ambivalent, in which the child trusts a significant parent but also understands that he or she may not be around at a critical moment. Finally, Ainsworth identified a fourth type of child attachment: disordered, in which the individual does not tend to show specific patterns: the child either seeks attachment or does not.
Attachment Development in Children
A child’s attachment varies according to the different phases of a toddler’s maturation. One foundational classification theory is the Canadian Dr. Neufeld’s six-stage model of attachment development (Neufeld’s six stages, 2019). Hence, up to the age of two, a child becomes attached to people through the senses, meaning that the baby needs touch and smell: these actions help him or her feel that a significant adult is nearby. Studies show that early petting by a significant adult has a positive impact on the development of a baby’s emotional intelligence (Botero et al., 2019). Notably, by age two, a baby typically begins to be mobile, meaning that he or she can run away from an adult. However, the toddler will return each time for another portion of care and attention. In this context, the maternal deprivation effect described by Bowlby, according to which the systematic separation of a child from a significant adult leads to stressful conditions in the future, becomes particularly relevant (Le Pierrot, 2018). When viewed in the context of Ainsworth’s methodology, this deprivation is either anxious-avoidant or disordered attachment. Statistically, about 30% of children experience erratic and unstable attachment to an adult (Booth & Wark, n.d.). As a consequence, these children are more likely than others to exhibit depression, anxiety, and stress.
The second level (up to the age of 3 years) consists in the child’s conscious effort to copy those adults whom he or she loves. Children at this stage often parody, even unconsciously, the behavior of their parents. The third level (up to age 4) is realized when the child starts to experience emotions of loyalty and devotion to the adult. The fourth level is realized before the age of 5 when the child develops a sense of self-importance and independence. Attachment at this stage is realized through the child’s desire to have a significant adult who cares about him or her and is attentive to his or her interests. The penultimate fifth level (up to age 6) consists in the child’s understanding of the complex meaning of love: at this stage, adults encourage the child to show their love for the infant in every way by spending time together. Finally, the sixth level of infant attachment, when the child seeks to share his or her secrets and be understood by a meaningful adult. Parents in this phase are advised to be attentive to the child’s needs and to monitor the child’s moods.
Conclusions for the Adult
When the various phases of a child’s attachment development no longer seem obscure, it is essential to note that these signs do not necessarily have to be pronounced in a toddler’s behavior until age six. Every child is different, and so is every family, so there is no doubt that children may miss or linger on certain phases. Notably, if a child has been placed in an orphanage by a parent, adoption leads to an increased perceived sense of safety (Raby & Dozier, 2019). In addition, there is a pattern in such adoptive families that specific attachment patterns can be passed down from generation to generation, meaning that the adopted person transfers the adoptive adults’ parenting skills to themselves.
Otherwise, one can conclude from these studies that care and attention from a significant adult is undoubtedly important, but it is at an early age that they are most critical. Lack of trust in the adult as a consequence of maternal deprivation, according to Bowlby, leads to serious problems with the perception of attachment in later life. This refers to psychological problems related to anxiety, undermined trust in people, and feelings of loneliness. Given the function of attachment, it is the love from a significant adult that allows the child to feel secure.
Finally, an exciting conclusion of this work is the property of constant change of the personality of the significant adult in complete families. Thus, if in the first years of life the child pays more attention to the mother, which is quite natural, given her nursing function, the father should not resent the child. Moreover, research shows that when a father is present in a child’s life — the “father effect” — children become more emotionally mature and capable (Krisch, 2018). Over time, the mother’s authority may diminish, and the father’s authority may increase: in this environment, the child spends more time with the father. When children become teenagers, they often enter a state of coveted independence and freedom, and this is where an attachment is perceived as a feeling from which the child can escape. This knowledge helps parents build a more effective relationship with their child and understand how important the role of this or that adult is to the child at that moment.
References
Bakermans‐Kranenburg, M. J. (2021). The limits of the attachment network. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 1–8. Web.
Booth, P. B., & Wark, L. (n.d.). Children’s attachment relationships. AAMFT. Web.
Botero, M., Langley, H. A., & Venta, A. (2020). The untenable omission of touch in maternal sensitivity and attachment research. Infant and Child Development, 29(2), 1-24. Web.
Cherry, K. (2020). The different types of attachment styles. VeryWell Mind. Web.
Krisch, J. A. (2018). The science of dad and the ‘father effect’. Fatherly. Web.
Le Pierrot, G. P. H. (2018). Silent voices-attachment formation in twelve foster-reared mothers and their children [PDF document]. Web.
Neufeld’s six stages of attachment at bedtime. (2019). Heather Boyd. Web.
Raby, K. L., & Dozier, M. (2019). Attachment across the lifespan: Insights from adoptive families. Current Opinion in Psychology, 25, 81-85. Web.
Reisz, S., Duschinsky, R., & Siegel, D. J. (2018). Disorganized attachment and defense: exploring John Bowlby’s unpublished reflections. Attachment & Human Development, 20(2), 107-134. Web.