Introduction
A healthy family structure is one of the most critical teachings of Christianity. A family unit is representative of the wider community and reflects the complex relationship between Christ and the church. A Christian family structure is well-balanced, with the Bible giving directions and recommendations regarding the duties and responsibilities of men and women in marriage. A Christian marriage is a divinely mandated relationship, with the leadership role of the husband and the submission of the wife to this leadership being prescribed by the Divine. Thus, such a relationship without the involvement of headship can experience spiritual and mental issues that can endanger the family unit and the overall well-being of its members. This essay is dedicated to the concept of the Chrisitan family structure and the potential struggles it may face if the headship is not involved.
Christian Family Structure
Traditional Christian family structure echoes the relationship between Christ and the church. The concept of a family in Christianity is based upon several verses of the New Testament, including Ephesians 5:21-33 and Colossians 3:18-19 (Knight, 2005b). It should be noticed that the New Testament urges men and women to start a family of their own and tells them to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (“Ephesians 5:21-33,” 2022). Ephesians 5:21-33 provides instructions on the roles of wives and husbands within the family, comparing them to Christ and the church within the greater scope of Christianity. In particular, verses 22-24 encourage wives to submit to their husbands, comparing their role in the family structure to that of the church under the guidance of Jesus Christ (“Ephesians 5:21-33,” 2022). Verses 25-32 address the position of husbands within a family, stating that they should lead their wives, love them as they love themselves, and care for them (“Ephesians 5:21-33,” 2022). Thus, a Christian family can be viewed as a hierarchical relationship that views the husband as the head.
Nevertheless, despite the Christian family structure being highly hierarchic, the male headship is one that serves the wife and family as a whole. The submission and respect expected of wives are similarly demanded of husbands. Specifically, Ephesians 5:25-32 state that husbands should work toward making their wives holy and blameless as Jesus Christ sacrificed himself for the church (“Ephesians 5:21-33,” 2022). The male headship is not meant to benefit husbands exclusively, although they can enjoy the fruits of their labor in the form of a stable and spiritual family. Thus, in the New Testament, husbands are encouraged to be spiritual leaders, with the Colossians warning them against being too harsh and asking them to act with love in their hearts (“Colossians 3:18-19,” 2022). Meanwhile, Ephesians and Colossians maintain that wives should respect the leadership of their husbands and submit to it as the church does to the rule of Christ. Overall, wives are said to be part of the husbands’ bodies as the church is the member of Christ’s body; therefore, mutual respect and care are demanded.
Male Headship in Christian Marriage
The headship of a husband within the Christian family structure is strictly defined in both the Old and New Testaments. In particular, the roles of husbands in their family and the decision-making process regarding their family, place in the community, and child raising is discussed in those writings (Knight, 2005a). The ability of a man to follow the rules outlined to him by the will of God will translate into a fruitful and joyful family and shows his dedication to the Divine.
The primary role of a husband is the one he plays in his family. The Old Testament maintains that the main calling of any man is “the responsibility of breadwinner and provider for his wife and family” (Knight, 2005a, para. 8). A husband is united with his wife through marriage and should willingly and gladly accept the obligation of providing for her and their children financially. Knight (2005a) notes that if a husband embraces this responsibility, he allows his wife to dedicate her time to bearing and raising children. Furthermore, the husband carries the burden of decision-making for the family. However, in the Christian view, it is critical that the husband considers his wife’s needs, feelings, and opinions when making decisions regarding their family (Knight, 2005a). Thus, headship requires the husband to make decisions that will benefit the family as a whole and to be humble, compassionate, and sympathetic to the needs of others (“1 Peter 3,” 2022). As the head of the family, the husband should initiate communication concerning important decisions to be made and strive towards a mutually satisfactory one.
Although the responsibility of caring for children lies on women in a Christian family structure, husbands are expected to play an active role in child-rearing. Parents should present a united front to their children, with the husband’s authority supported by the wife in perfect union (Knight, 2005a). Therefore, any father should act in a way that commands respect from his children and allow his offspring the same courtesy. Knight (2005a) notes that Ephesians and Colossians urge fathers not to discourage or anger their children but to treat them in a way that would show them their parents and God’s love for them. The husband should ensure the communication between him and the wife is respectful to teach his children the importance of love, care, and respect in a marriage. In addition, the husband can take an active role in child-rearing if it does not interfere with his primary responsibility of being the breadwinner (Knight, 2005a). As the head of the family, the father serves as an example and a compassionate leader to his children.
It should be noted that although the notion of headship implies the leadership position, the concept of leadership should be better examined. The passages from the Ephesians, Colossians, and Peter indicate that headship can be interpreted as submission to wife and children as the husband is to treat them with respect and ensure their well-being above all. According to Ademiluka (2020), the husband’s headship over his wife, which is compared to the headship of Christ over the church, should be based on the sacrificial love that Jesus Christ had for his congregation. Thus, the husband is expected to put his family’s needs, comfort, and pleasure over his own (Ademiluka, 2020). Overall, the role of the husband within a family structure is not to rule or control but to unite the family, nurture it, and encourage and direct its growth.
Female Submission in Christian Marriage
The role of a wife in a Christian family is similarly well-defined in the Old and New Testaments. Women are expected to submit to the headship of their husbands willingly and respectfully (Knight, 2005a). Women, who are cared for and provided for financially by their spouses, should become the primary career for children and dedicate their time to instilling Christian values into children (Knight, 2005a). Wives are encouraged to labor outside of the home if such labor benefits the family and community and does not interfere with the main responsibilities of child-bearing and child-rearing. However, the decision to work outside the home should not be made unilaterally but rather with the support of the husband (Knight, 2005a). Thus, wives should trust their spouses in having their best interests at heart and rely on them for care and guidance. Wives may undertake additional roles at home and within the community if their primary duties are not impeded. Overall, as the energy of a woman should be directed inwards to her family, she should rely on the guidance and protection of a man in order to effectively assume her responsibilities.
Mental Struggles in Families Without Headship
Having discussed the roles of men and women within a traditional Christian household, it can be argued that the loss of headship can translate into substantial struggles for the family. The loss of headship in a Christian family should be viewed as the loss of spiritual guidance and the primary support system. Authentic male leadership serves the family, including the wife and children. Therefore, the loss of headship translates into losing spiritual direction and support in child-rearing and financial assistance. A Christian family is a well-balanced and somewhat hierarchical structure in which men and women have comprehensively defined roles and responsibilities. Thus, families without the active involvement of headship due to a loss or inability of a husband to support his family resort to traditionally masculine and feminine roles being shouldered by the female spouse. The absence of headship forces the wife to accept unnatural roles for a Christian woman. It pushes her to “go beyond what is written in the principles we affirm and teach” (Knight, 2005a, para. 21). Overall, such a deviation from a conventional family structure can lead to significant mental struggles in the wife and children.
Mental health issues within the Christian family structure are a crucial problem for the family unit and the community. It can be argued that the father in the headship position bears the responsibility of ensuring his family members are mentally and physically healthy. Therefore, the absence of headship creates significant issues. It should be noted that the concept of mental health is uniquely defined in Christianity. Expressly, mental health can be understood as the power to “fulfill vocation within the kingdom of God” (Cook, 2020, p. 163). Thus, the headship refusing to be involved in the life and guidance of his family jeopardizes the ability of his wife and children to effectively fulfill their callings. Husbands who choose to abandon their responsibility to their family and God imperil their wives, children, and society as a whole, as they undermine the family structure critical to Christianity with their actions.
The wives robbed of the support and spiritual leadership of their husbands face severe mental struggles as they bear the sole responsibility for their children. Without the involvement of headship, women are driven to direct their energy inward, as requested by the Biblical writings, and outward (Knight, 2005a). This duality is likely to lead to the development of mental health problems which can further undermine the ability of women to care for their children. According to Senicato et al. (2018), there is a proven correlation between marital status and mental health, with separated, divorced, and widowed women being more likely to develop mental health disorders than married women. This trend is explained through exposure to the stress experienced by separated, divorced, and widowed women and the lack of social support of a dedicated partner (Senicato et al., 2018). Such lack of support and involvement from headship can lead to dissatisfaction with the institution of Christian marriage, severe psychological distress, and mental and physical health problems (Senicato et al., 2018). Thus, the loss of headship leads to mental struggles in the female spouses.
Similarly, children raised in households without the involvement of headship can experience mental health struggles due to being exposed to a dysfunctional and unbalanced family structure. The mutually supportive relationship between husband and wife promotes moral development in children and models healthy relational dynamics for them (Dollahite et al., 2018). According to Brown (2019), children in fatherless households are at higher risk of suffering from emotional problems, depression, anxiety, self-harming behaviors, and suicidal ideation. The absence of headship can lead to children becoming more aggressive and withdrawing from society (Brown, 2019). Thus, such children are in jeopardy of losing the guidance of their community and rejecting Christianity as a whole. Childhood mental health depends on the family structure and early-life exposure to stressful family-related situations (Wasserman, 2020). Furthermore, research suggests that girls may be more affected by the loss of male headship than boys. Wasserman (2020) notes that teenage girls are more responsive to family structure and changes in it than teenage boys and, consequently, may experience more severe mental health issues. Overall, lack of involvement of male headship within a family can cause considerable mental struggles in children.
Moreover, the lack of involvement from the headship can cause meaningful mental struggles in the Christian community. In particular, the wives and children who experience mental health problems due to the absence of headship and father-figure are forced to rely more on the help of society. The additional strain put on the community members, including the responsibility of moral and spiritual guidance and financial burden, translates into mental struggles for the involved persons. Furthermore, as members of the community with mental health issues, the wife and children not supported by the male headship affect others through their social interactions and model unhealthy behaviors. Thus, every Christian family contributes to the development and growth of their community, and a dysfunctional structure without headship can cause significant mental distress.
Conclusion
In summary, a Christian family structure presupposes the husband as the head and the wife as a willing follower. This bond echoes the fundamental relationship between the church and Christ, with the husband expected to show sacrificial love to their wives and children just as Christ loved and sacrificed himself for the church. Male headship is meant to unite the family, care for them, and direct them in their growth. The absence of headship or willing lack of involvement from the man of the family can lead to the development of mental struggles in the wife and children. In addition, the Christian community as a whole is affected mentally when a family structure is damaged.
References
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Ademiluka, S. O. (2020). ‘For the husband is the head of the wife’: A contextual re-reading of ephesians 5:22–33 among Nigerian Yoruba Christians. In die Skriflig / In Luce Verbi, 54(1), 1–10.
Brown, J. (2019). Father-absent homes: Implications for criminal justice and mental health professionals. Minnesota Psychological Association.
Colossians 3:18-19. (2022). Bible Gateway.
Cook, C. C. (2020). Mental health in the kingdom of God. Theology, 123(3), 163–171.
Dollahite, D. C., Marks, L. D., & Dalton, H. (2018). Why religion helps and harms families: A conceptual model of a system of dualities at the nexus of faith and family life. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 10(1), 219–241.
Ephesians 5:21-33. (2022). Bible Gateway.
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Knight, G. W. (2005b). 8. Husbands and wives as analogues of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:21 and Colossians 3:18-19). Bible.org.
Senicato, C., De Azevedo, R. C., & De Azevedo Barros, M. B. (2018). Common mental disorders in adult women: Identifying the most vulnerable segments. Ciência & Saúde Coletiva, 23, 2543–2554.
Wasserman, M. (2020). The disparate effects of family structure. The Future of Children, 30(2020), 55–81.