There are different approaches to providing good nurturing and education for children, and psychologists argue which is the best. They imply different assumptions about the children’s behavior and provides different parenting methods. The child’s development is a complex and individual process: it depends on the child’s character and the conditions in which the child grows. I consider two parenting approaches with similar names: authoritative and authoritarian. I think that the authoritative parenting style is one of the best, while the authoritarian is one of the worst.
The authoritative approach is supportive, and parents who follow it build their parenting style based on the child’s needs and character. This style’s characteristics are high demandingness and high responsiveness, which means that parents set clear rules for the child, but those rules are flexible and based on what the child really needs (Zeltser). Authoritative parenting style implies frequent communication: parents and children spend much time in conversations, which enable them to know each other better. Parents understand how they can teach their children; they can build their rules and expectations based on what children like and dislike. This style assumes that children are living, conscious beings: they have rights and feelings which their parents should respect. They can learn and follow the rules which are rational and consider their character and temper.
I believe that it is the best parenting style because it is rational and holistic. It considers both children’s and parents’ feelings, desires, thoughts, and characters, providing methods to solve their issues. Parents guide their children by showing them how they should behave and why it will be suitable for their lives, enabling them to see and learn (Zeltser). The authoritative approach leads to the holistic development of the children, allowing them to grow into healthy, strong personalities; I think it should be promoted as the best parenting style and used widely.
In contrast, the authoritarian parenting style is repressive and based on total control over the child. Its characteristics are high demandingness and low responsiveness: the communication in one side, from parents to children only. The rules for children are strict and do not consider the children’s feelings and desires (Zeltser). One-side communication means that parents decide what is suitable for their children by themselves and then impose their decision on them, using their authority and even force. They think that they know better what their child wants, and they reject all discussions and objections. The last argument is always in the style of “it will be so because I said so!” and the children’s feelings are totally ignored (Zeltser). This approach implies strict rules based only on the parents’ decisions, and their violation usually leads to punishment, which is an integral part of this parenting style.
I think that it is a terrible parenting style: in reality, it can make the child worse, not better. First and worst, this approach considers neither children’s feelings nor desires; it actually does not consider children as people at all. It assumes that the child is the kind of the mechanism, or animal at best, which should be “trained” by using a stern discipline (Zeltser). I believe that such an approach can break the child’s psyche instead of making it strong and healthy. Unlike the authoritative approach, the authoritarian one does not promote the development of a child’s personality; in my opinion, it should be classified as dangerous and never be used.
Work Cited
Zeltser, Francyne. “A Psychologist Shares the 4 Styles of Parenting—and the Type That Researchers Say Is the Most Successful.” CNBC, Web.