Introduction
Separation from the things and people one loves occurs despite people’s efforts to maintain the status quo, which they are comfortable with. However, life is made of changes, and therefore it is essential to accept them, no matter how unpleasant they can be for an individual. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s (1969) stages of grief and Bowlby’s (1973) attachment theory help explain an individual’s reaction to separation. Learning the theories helps people cope with and accept the inevitable, finding resources to live further and adapt to a changing environment.
Scenario
Divina, who has worked at Pegasus for 20 years and feels a strong sense of belonging, often describing it as ‘family,’ was informed yesterday that she would be made redundant after the company went into liquidation due to the COVID-19 pandemic, leaving staff facing financial difficulties.
Stages of Grief
Theory
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross singles out five stages of grief that people go through when they are separated from the things and people they love. These stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (Kubler Ross Foundation, 2021). People do not experience these stages in a linear, step-by-step manner; instead, they plunge into different stages at various times and can even revisit those they have already experienced (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2005). Kübler-Ross states that stages last for varying periods and can overlap or coexist (Kübler-Ross, 1969). Some people progress to the acceptance stage in a relatively short period, while others become stuck at one of the stages and are unable to move forward.
Application
Denial
Applying Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief to Divina’s situation, one can say that she is likely to go through all the stages, given the long period she spent with the company and the sense of belonging she formed. Thus, initially, she may experience shock and disbelief that she has been made redundant, clinging to the belief that the company will find a way to keep her job despite the difficulties it is experiencing.
Anger
After the denial stage, Divina may get angry that the company is terminating her after all those years of service. Since the company has become like a family to Divina, she may be especially infuriated at the perceived unfairness done to her.
Bargaining
At the bargaining stage, Divina may try to strike deals either with the company or herself. Thus, to the company, she may propose working for a lesser wage for a specific period of time or taking unpaid leave, provided her job place is kept, and she may return to it within a specific period. To herself, Divina may promise to assume extra responsibilities if, after all, she is not made redundant.
Depression
At the depression stage, Divina may feel that it is not worth looking for another job since she will also run the risk of redundancy after many years of service. At a deeper level, Divina may wish she were not so attached to colleagues who have become like family to her, as she will now be separated from them.
Acceptance
All these stages may interchange until finally Divina is ready to accept a new situation. In her case, acceptance means seeking another job and forming productive working relationships with new colleagues and management.
Although everyone goes through several stages in the separation process, for some, it passes relatively quickly and smoothly. In contrast, others are engulfed in despair and sadness for a prolonged period. The way a person takes separation largely depends on how the attachment was formed in their childhood.
Attachment Theory
Theory
Bowlby believed that children’s earliest attachment to those who care for them has a huge impact that continues throughout their lives. The central idea of attachment theory is that caregivers who initially respond to a child’s needs and satisfy them enable the child to feel safe (Bowlby, 1973). The infant knows that they can rely on their family, and this knowledge serves as a stepping stone for further exploration of the world. The psychology of the relationship between parents and children has a profound impact on the child’s subsequent life. Reliable communication enables grown children to foster stronger relationships with peers and develop essential social skills.
Bowlby, in attachment theory, argues that children who have received proper maternal care exhibit a higher level of self-confidence and adaptability compared to their peers, as well as lower levels of aggression, anger, and rage (Bowlby, 1980). As a result of the lack of commitment from an early age, children and, later, adults become aggressive and prone to depression (Bowlby, 1980). Such people are more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems compared to those who have been adequately cared for.
Application
Projecting Bowlby’s theory to Divina’s case, one can say that her reaction to redundancy will largely depend on the type of attachment she formed in her early childhood. Given that the company was like a family to Divina and she worked there for 20 years, one can suggest that she may have trouble making friends with new people due to the neglect she may have experienced in her childhood. Therefore, her reaction to the redundancy may be severe.
Moreover, from the case study, it is unclear whether Divina has a family of her own to support her in this situation. In case there is no family and no one to rely on, Divina is likely to have a prolonged depression and go through all Elisabeth Kübler-Ross stages before she is ready to accept a situation.
Conclusion
The stages of grief proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1969) and the attachment theory proposed by Bowlby (1973) promote understanding of an individual’s reaction to separation. Divina’s case shows that an individual’s reaction to the process of separation largely depends on the type of attachment a person formed in early childhood. The more stable and loving the relations a child forms with their parents, the easier it is for them to adapt to the changing world and accept unpleasant situations without needing to go through all the stages of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ separation process.
Reference List
Bowlby, 1., 1973. Attachment and Loss: Separation, Anxiety and Anger Volume 2 London: Hogarth Press.
Bowlby, J., 1980. Attachment and Loss Volume 3 Loss, Sadness & Depression USA: Perseus Books.
Kubler Ross Foundation, 2021. Five Stages of Grief.
Kubler Ross, E. & Kessler, D., 2005. On Grief and Grieving US: Simon and Schuster.
Kubler Ross, E., 1969. Death & Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy & Their Own Families. New York: Scribner.