The situation that has taken place in Michael’s family is a representation of the misunderstanding, miscommunication, and dismissal of the feelings and the concerns of a child. The revelation that the boy has made to his parents has caught them off-guard because they were raising their children within a Christian tradition and thought that their son could not be gay. However, religion does not have any influence on one’s sexuality; rather, the barriers and rules that religion imposes can frighten children who are confused about their sexual attraction. Michael could have been taught his whole life that being gay is wrong and against the Christian faith (Comm, 2018). Although, when he began experiencing physical attraction to the representatives of his gender, the boy was most likely scared and did not know how to act. Telling his parents was the hardest thing that he has probably ever done in his sixteen years.
Despite the aggression that the parents are exhibiting once finding out the news from their son, it should be noted that the emotional distress that they are experiencing is not surprising. As the parents who raised their children in a Christian tradition, they thought that they made sure that nothing like this would happen. When Michael said that he was gay, his parents lost the image and the beliefs they had about their son, the perceptions of themselves as parents, as well as possibly the desires and hopes for grandchildren. While their behavior toward the son is unacceptable at this time, it was prompted by the loss of the ideals and expectations that they placed on Michael.
To mitigate the situation as soon as possible, the ABC model should be implemented. The model suggests that it is not the situation, event, or person that may make an individual feel a certain way and exhibit particular emotions. Instead, it is the person’s interpretation of what has taken place. In the ABC model, there is a situation that triggers a specific response (antecedent) (Lynch, 2017). the thoughts and the interpretation of a situation (beliefs), and the way in which a person feels and behaves during that situation (consequences). In the case of Michael, his parents seem to blame their son, who represents the antecedent, for their negative response to him being gay, which is the consequence. What parents need to understand is that it is actually their belief that homosexuality is unacceptable within the Christian faith that triggered their aggressive response.
When approaching the family initially, they should be told to calm down for the situation to be resolved. It may be a good idea to find a close relative or neighbor who can take Michael for a couple of days for his parents to reduce their aggression. During the first meeting with the family, each family member will be asked to reflect on their perspectives on the situation to get an idea of how to proceed further. It is likely that Michael will be eager to make up with his parents because he wants to be understood and supported by his closest ones. His parents are more likely to express disdain and dissatisfaction with their son’s revelation, referring to their faith and its teachings.
The application of the ABC model is necessary for showing the family that the conflict has stemmed from faulty cognitions about each other. Michael and his parents interact with the world through their mental representations of it. The boy has already developed an understanding of his sexuality and the fact that he wants to pursue a life that will make him happy and fulfilled. On the contrary, his parents look at the world from the perspective of their religious beliefs and have their own understanding of their son’s happy life. This shows that the family’s mental representations appear inaccurate; their emotions and behaviors are distorted (Katz-Wise, Rosario, & Tsappis, 2017). The goal of the therapy sessions with the family is to teach them how they can identify the distorted conditions through the process of evaluation. For Michael’s parents, it is imperative to learn how they can differentiate between their thoughts and beliefs and reality.
The implementa of the ABC model is necessary because of the need to respond to the needs of the younger sibling, Michael’s seven-year-old sister Jamile. During the family scandal, the girl was very scared of her brother leaving the family and her staying on her own. For the children’s parents, the distress of their daughter should serve as a sign that the family should be restored, and the disagreements should be addressed amicably. For the sake of Michael’s well-being and her having the support of her brother, who protects her and plays with her, it is imperative for the family to reach a cotionmmon ground. If Michael leaves the family to leaves on his own to pursue the life he wants to live, Jamile is likely to experience some significant emotional trauma, which could lead to further behavioral issues.
As a component of the behavioral therapy based on the ABC model, it is necessary to involve the parents and Michael in participating in support groups for families who have had a similar experience. This is necessary for showing that the beliefs and the perceptions of the world by parents regarding their offspring can be distorted because they do not consider what is important or healthy for their children. By having an open conversation about their fears and expectations being ruined, the family will inevitably come to terms with their situations. Also, it may be a good idea for the parents to talk to the representatives of their church in order to feel some support from people who share their beliefs and desires (“Always our children: A pastoral message to parents,” 2020). It is necessary for them to retain their faith while also accepting the sexuality of their son. While the situation may seem to be a crisis at present for the family, being able to express one’s feelings is the key to reaching success in the present case.
As a part of the crisis response team who encountered the family during a complicated time, it is imperative to remain in touch with the family and monitor their progress. The present situation is manageable with the help of the ABC model that can facilitate the understanding of why the conflict has taken place and what beliefs have contributed to the problem. LGBT youth is already challenged by the lack of acceptance and understanding on the part of the general public, including their peers. Because of this, Michael needs to be understood by his family, who may have to step over their beliefs and prejudices rooted in religion.
References
- Always our children: A pastoral message to parents of homosexual children and suggestions for pastoral ministers. (2020).
- Comm, M. (2018). Uncommon love: God’s heart for Christian parents of gay kids. Morgan James Faith.
- Katz-Wise, S., Rosario, M., & Tsappis, M. (2017). LGBT youth and family acceptance. Pediatric clinics of North America, 63(6), 1011-1025.
- Lynch, D. (2017). Schooled in fear: Lessons learned about keeping students and staff safe. Rowman & Littlefield.