The “College Roommates” case involves a conflict among two friends: Jill and Rachel. Two had been living with Tina and Connie as roommates, sharing the two beds and amenities. Jill and Rachel’s fight emerged when Jill was introduced to Tina, where a stronger friendship soon emerged. Subsequently, the two started spending more time together while abandoning Rachel (Folger et al., 2021). The conflict thus entails the deteriorating friendship between longtime friends due, in part, to the introduction of Tina and Connie. While Rachel had substantial reasons to blame Jill for their deteriorating relationship, she failed to communicate her feelings effectively. Jill, in consequence, continued to act towards her newfound friendship, hurting Rachel even more. Thus, the case presents a practical illustration of communication inhibitors and how they affect relationships.
Fundamentally, the input in the conflict encapsulates preexisting attitudes and experiences between the two friends. First, the introduction of Tina and Connie as roommates swayed the progress of an existing Rachel-Jill relationship. Rachel noticed that Tina and Jill were spending a considerably higher amount of time together shortly after joining them. She was particularly hurt and felt abandoned because they spent time “doing laundry, fixing their hair in the same style, shopping, and going out” (Folger et al., 2021, p. 125). These activities were essentially a precursor to the skirmish, which escalated soon afterward. At this time, Rachel was increasingly becoming concerned but did not report anything. Instead, she kept her negative attitude towards the matter to herself. Additionally, she had little in common with Connie and could thus not partake in any activity to feel less abandoned.
Second, Rachel’s feelings towards Jill’s new interest in losing weight added to the input of the conflict. Accordingly, Jill started adopting an oatmeal diet, involving a daily intake of five bowls of oatmeal (Folger et al., 2021). Rachel felt that this endeavor was unnecessary but did not directly address Jill about it. Instead, Rachel sarcastically remarked about it on occasions, hinting her opinions to Jill. Rachel also teased about it, pointing out its inappropriateness, the advice to which Jill did not pay attention. The latter continued in her oatmeal regimen while also spending more time with Tina. Thus, Rachel exhibited the input component of communication by bringing preexisting personalities and attitudes to their dialogue with Jill. Also, Rachel took the conflict personally, given that she felt threatened by the new entrant, Tina, in their existing relationship.
Furthermore, the throughput component is manifested by Rachel’s changed behavior during the unfolding of the conflict. Accordingly, she gave Jill “the silent treatment” after arguing about the importance of Jill’s recent weight management activities (Folger et al., 2021, p. 125). During this period, Jill also complained about Rachel’s attitudes and utterances to the other roommates without her presence. This act heightened the tension between the two friends, resulting in Rachel reporting Jill to Connie. However, Connie did not partake much in the arguments because she deemed them personal. Usually, an argument can be mitigated by engaging other neutral parties. Unfortunately, no one was available to mediate the conflict, spiraling the outcomes as discussed below. Connie’s reluctance to help bring them together made Rachel more unwilling to do anything to resuscitate.
Ultimately, the outcomes of the conflict epitomized and emerged when the two friends decided to meet and resolve their relationship. In their conversation, Jill started by asking what was going on between them, showing her interest in determining a solution. The dialogue was remarkably important because it helped demystify several misunderstandings. First, the interchange involved the question of the deteriorating communication between the friends. Jill and Rachel admitted that they have not been talking as frequently as they were (Folger et al., 2021). Jill admitted that she has been spending more time with Tina. Similarly, Rachel confessed to not talking because every time she attempted to do so, Jill gave her sarcastic remarks. Second, the conversation delved into the circumstances that led to the failing communication between the two. Jill felt that Rachel got the attention she needed from her boyfriend, and she would not be concerned by Jill’s newfound interest (Folger et al., 2021). The dialogue helped delineate the points of misunderstanding that led to the continued disjunction between Jill and Rachel. It ends with the two forgiving each other and working better towards their friendship.
The conflict in the case study was particularly intriguing because it expounds on relatable factors leading to skirmishes among friends. Miscommunication between Jill and Rachel threatened their friendship. Rachel believed that Jill had deliberately replaced her with Tina by spending more time with her. Similarly, Jill felt that Rachel was intentionally ignoring her and never talked to her again. They both admitted to not noticing the depth of their actions towards each other. Also, they acknowledged that they would have acted differently if they understood the consequences of their actions. Therefore, this case resonated with me because it stresses the essence of effective communication in building relationships.
Reference
Folger, J. P., Poole, M. S., & Stutman, R. K. (2021). Working through conflict: Strategies for relationships, groups, and organizations (8th ed.). Routledge.
Case Study Reaction Paper 2. Case 4.2 (Folger et al., 2021, pp. 125-126)