Death and Dying in “What Really Matters…” by Miller

The YouTube video shows BJ Miller sharing deep insights on end-of-life care. BJ Miller provides an uncommon viewpoint borrowing from a traumatic near-death encounter that cost him his feet and arm. The critical element of the video is that the experience endowed him with a profound understanding of suffering and a strong desire to offer a renewed perspective on how our society cares for people who fall sick or terminally ill and the dead. Several key points from the talk touch on suffering, palliative care, senses and priorities.

The distinction between necessary and unnecessary suffering

BJ Miller classifies suffering into two kinds: necessary and unnecessary suffering. His initial statement is that people do not consider death the scariest thing. Instead, they are mainly shaken by the suffering leading to death. According to Miller (2015), necessary suffering is that which cannot be changed. This kind of suffering is what he says brings together the caregiver and care receiver as human creatures through a system. It marks the focal point of healing as it entails joint suffering for everybody.

Unnecessary suffering is caused by human beings and is not aimed at serving any good course. BJ Miller indicates that the good thing about this kind of suffering is since it is created, it can be altered. Most importantly, he tells the audience, “Since this brand of suffering is made up, well, we can change it” (Miller, 2015). Miller (2015) states that the focus should be on people’s well-being “so that life and health and healthcare can become about making life more wonderful, rather than just less horrible.” Therefore, society can indeed influence how people die through adaptive systems.

BJ Miller strongly advocates for palliative care.

He strongly urges humanity to consider palliative care a good thing for people and not harmful, as perceived by the majority. Upon reflecting on the good attributes of palliative care, he proposes to advocate for it just like a physician describes medicine to a patient. He asserts that palliative care is a crucial medical field that is poorly understood because it does not only focus on end of life care (Miller, 2015). According to BJ Miller, palliative care is about consoling and living nicely in any setting. “So please know that you don’t have to die anytime soon to benefit from palliative care,” he says. BJ Miller gives the example of Frank, who, apart from living for many years with encroaching prostate cancer in addition to a long-term living with HIV. His main message is that after working on performing the necessary medical procedures on his body, they spend the most time having fun together and reflecting on their lives.

Indulge your senses

In addition, BJ Miller states that even as people ponder the many difficulties in life, it is pleasurable to have senses. He indicates that having even one sense is critical as it gives people the feeling of being human and connected. He provides the example of people living and dying with dementia who do not get to enjoy their senses, such as baking a cake.

Priorities change at the end of life

BJ Miller leverages his nearly three decades of experience at Zen Hospice to state that “little things aren’t so little.” He emphasizes that people should learn to change their priorities, as evidenced by Jeanette, who, despite having breathing difficulties, still wants to destroy herself by smoking again.

In conclusion, BJ Miller portends that there is much more to dying aside from the actual death. Before dying, people grapple with different kinds of suffering, which can either be necessary or unnecessary. Additionally, he speaks to the audience about the value of palliative care. His opinion is that it does not equate to dying or hospice care but is a moment of caring for oneself. Finally, BJ Miller underscores the importance of indulging one’s senses, which he considers pleasurable, and that people should learn to shift their priorities.

Reference

Miller, B.J. [TED Talks]. (2015). What really matters at the end of life [Video]. YouTube. Web.

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StudyCorgi. 2023. "Death and Dying in “What Really Matters…” by Miller." December 20, 2023. https://studycorgi.com/death-and-dying-in-what-really-matters-by-miller/.

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