Introduction
Communication is the process of information transfer from a sender to a receiver through a certain medium. In this case, effective communication is the process of sending the right information to the intended receiver, who correctly receives the information and comprehends it. Based on this, effective communication is a crucial factor in successful relationships and marriages. To communicate effectively, it’s of significance to have a good comprehension of how the person one is interacting with; would interpret the communicated information (Hybels & Weaver II, 2006).
Importance of effective communication in marriage
Based on this, communication in marriage encourages acceptance between the spouses since when one realizes that he is accepted by his spouse; he is freed from marital stress. In this case, it is only after acceptance that one begins to think about how he can change to be more of a competent being. Even though some people believe that marriage problems would only be solved through direct quarreling and change, acceptance results in communication which helps in problem resolutions within the marriage.
Additionally, when spouses communicate they understand each other better and as a result comprehend each other’s likes and dislikes; thus avoid hurting each other. Further, in a marriage where communication thrives spouses do their things in harmony through consulting each other; and as a result minimize incidences of blame (Hybels & Weaver II, 2006).
Effective Communication Techniques
It can be argued that to communicate effectively in marriage, special communication techniques should be applied. In this case, spouses should avoid statements of quarreling, complaining, blaming, condemning, or mocking the other partner. On the other hand, one should be more careful with the use of non-verbal language like gestures and facial expressions. An example here may be; suppose a husband comes from work and finds his wife looking unhappy, instead of enquiring what the problem could be, he just goes to sleep.
In a case like this, the two spouses will be hurt by their inner feelings since they do not discuss them as a move to solve their problems. On the other hand, when one touches the other spouse, this communicates acceptance. In this case, when your spouse holds your hand during times of difficulties, this shows that she is concerned about your problems. Still, on the same point, gestures like buying a flower for your spouse communicate acceptance and hence enhance the love, as well as respect (Hybels & Weaver II, 2006).
Importance of active listening ineffective communication
To have a successful marriage, one needs to comprehend what the other partner is saying and examine the fundamental information or desire. For example, if a woman complains about her weight; she does not expect her husband to comment on her need to get slimmer but a proposal for a change of the diet plan. Additionally, marriages become successful when the partners communicate to each other their needs and problems. In this case, it would be advisable for a partner to say, ‘help me to make dinner please since I am unwell’ rather than saying ‘why can’t you make the dinner and you know that I am unwell’. Based on this, relying on instincts will only destroy marriage life; as spouses are supposed to ask questions or express their problems rather than expecting the other person to know (Hybels & Weaver II, 2006).
On the other hand, effective communication in marriage calls for active listening among the spouses. In this case, before confronting your spouse, you need to listen and comprehend what made her do whatever she did. It can be seen that a reflective listener more frequently than not; can solve his marriage problems. For instance, one may say, ‘what I can hear from you is….’ showing correct information has been received.
Further when one is listened to; he feels accepted and as a result is free to share his problems with their partner. On the other hand, active listening helps in problem-solving since partners express their problems and concerns to be discussed and a solution is found. Moreover, active listening shows that communication in marriage is a two-way process. This does not mean that one spouse should dominate the conversation during communication in marriage (Hybels & Weaver II, 2006).
It can further be argued that effective communication in marriage searches for more insight where the listener enquires more on the areas deemed unclear. In this case, questions should be asked with a lot of respect and courtesy. For example, if a spouse accuses her partner of infidelity and she doesn’t understand her husband’s defensive statements, she may say that; ‘please would you explain further on what you have just said’ (Hybels & Weaver II, 2006).
Moreover, spouses should avoid dishonesty in their communication as it leads to long-term consequences after the truth is revealed. Based on this, spouses should not avoid sharing the information needed by the other partner; by thinking that they are not supposed to know it, as they fear judgments from them (Hybels & Weaver II, 2006).
Initiation of communication in marriage
It is important to note that, communication in marriage does not come by itself, but one has to initiate it. In this case, communications occur where there is respect, honor, and faith between the spouses. Based on this one will avoid gossiping about her husband with her friends since she honors him, but initiates a dialogue with him on how to solve his problems. In this case, when one turns off the television when her spouse enters the house; it shows that she has something to discuss with her spouse. In this case, one should not keep silent about irritations and annoyance about a certain deed or a routine of the other person; but should speak it out so that the other partner may change (Hybels & Weaver II, 2006).
Explanation of the right time for having a dialogue within marriage
Another important thing under effective communication in marriage is choosing the right time to discuss any arising problems. In this case, both spouses should look for ample time to talk about the issue, rather than mentioning it when one spouse is rushing out to work. It should be noted that communication in marriage should not occur when one is tired since he will not be an active listener. On the other hand, couples should not discuss their issues and problems in front of others where there is no privacy (Hybels & Weaver II, 2006).
Conclusion
In conclusion, effective communication in marriage is crucial for any successful marriage. In this case, communication helps in problem-solving and expression of views as well as ideas; which results in acceptance in marriage. From this, it can be deduced that spouses who do not communicate in their marriage, live a life full of blames, accuses, mockery, and confrontations between them. It is important to note that, marriage makes a union and oneness; communication can be employed to harden or break that union. In this case, paying attention to advancing communication in marriage is the most effective way of attaining a factual conjugal bond.
Reference
Hybels, S. & Weaver II, R. (2006). Communicating effectively, Eighth Edition. New York: McGraw-Hill Publishers.