Introduction
Effective communication is necessary in marriage as it strengthens the bond between a couple. However, in some instances, poor communication and interaction can negatively impact a marriage, leading to strained relationships. This paper delves into the interaction between John and Jane, focusing on their communication approach as they engage after dinner.
Case Scenario
After putting their kids to bed, John and Jane sat down to talk about their day. They had already discussed John’s disagreement with his boss and Jane’s possible promotion when John brought up his mother’s request to visit next month. He mentioned the text he had sent earlier, but Jane said she hadn’t received it and quickly changed the subject to their son’s upcoming soccer tournament. Sensing her reluctance, John decided not to push the issue.
As Jane shifted the conversation to another task—writing a letter to the zoning board—John realized she was avoiding the topic of his mother’s visit. He debated whether to insist or drop it, but worried about upsetting her or disappointing his mother. Feeling frustrated and unsure how to proceed, he ended the conversation by saying he was tired and heading to bed.
The couple can interact more effectively using technological tools, but should be cautious of the potential negative impacts. John and Jane can have a healthy interaction by embracing an open communication approach based on trust.
Communication Approach
John and Jane’s communication approach is passive and indirect, as they do not confront their matters directly. Instead, John and Jane communicate through assumptions and implicit cues that hinder their ability to discuss their concerns candidly and reach a mutual understanding (Rohmah et al., 2020). They also use nonverbal cues and subtle remarks to express themselves, even as they shun away from directly addressing their concerns and feelings.
Verbal and Nonverbal Forms of Communication Utilized by the Couple
John initiated verbal communication just after dinner when he wanted to know whether Jane had received his text, which involved a prospective visit by his mother. He registers his anxiety to Jane as she does not receive any response. Jane responds verbally by stating that she may not have received it and diverts the conversation to the soccer tournament James will have to attend, and that John would have to carpool.
John responded verbally, indicating he had no issue with the soccer details and would handle the matter. The two continue having a verbal exchange regarding the mom’s visit and the letter to the zoning board. The conversation does not approach the main issues, and John eventually gives up and expresses his tiredness, indicating his resignation and avoidance of further discussion.
Nonverbal communication is initiated by Jane, who responds to John by shrugging her shoulders and nodding when he enquires whether she had received the text he sent her about the impending visit of his mother. According to Joachim et al. (2022), the reaction points to a need for more willingness or interest to discuss the matter. Her passive approach causes John to think loudly that her failure to respond is because she does not want to talk about her mother’s visit, which indicates her unconcern or hesitation to engage in the conversation. During the exchange regarding his mother’s impending visit, John takes a deep breath and uses a heavy tone to convey his anticipation and desire to approach the topic carefully.
Impact of Technology on the Couple’s Communication
Technology is critical in facilitating the exchange of information and communication in the current digital age. An illustration of the impact of technology on communication between John and Jane is through text. Rohmah et al. (2020) state that technology facilitates instant communication through instant messaging and video calling platforms, enabling the couple to communicate quickly and efficiently.
John and Jane can address issues, share important information, or connect daily without delay. While the couple began talking, John said, “Honey, remember the text I sent you earlier today?” This shows that technology helped facilitate the sending of text.
Technology could also facilitate collaboration and the sharing of tasks and responsibilities. The couple could use shared calendars, task management apps, or cloud storage to coordinate schedules, manage household chores, or plan events together. For instance, they could have used technology to plan for John’s mom’s visit, which would have helped to improve the overall exchange and organization. An additional benefit of technology to the couple is to stay connected throughout the day, notwithstanding the physical separation (Rohmah et al., 2020). They can easily share updates, photos, and thoughts and, in the process, foster a sense of closeness and constant communication.
On the other hand, technology could have a damaging effect on the couple if not used appropriately. Joachim et al. (2022, p.105) state, “continued use of technology can distract partners and hinder the quality of communication.“ Excessive use of technological devices, social media, or entertainment platforms may lead to decreased attention between John and Jane and engagement during face-to-face conversations.
Communication through text messages or social media can sometimes lead to miscommunication and misinterpretation due to the absence of nonverbal cues and tone of voice. According to Jafari et al. (2021), technology raises concerns regarding individual privacy and trust within relationships. Social media, online interactions, and digital footprints can become sources of insecurity or jealousy if not managed effectively.
New Case Scenario to Demonstrate Successful Communication Between John and Jane
John and Jane have two kids. After dinner, when the kids are in bed, the couple sits down to discuss their day. They had already discussed John’s conflict with his boss and Jane’s potential promotion. John initiated a conversation, “Honey, I sent you a text earlier today, and I have not received a reply; what could be the matter?“ Jane replied, “I am sorry about that; I did not receive the message.“ My mom intends to visit us next month, and I thought we could discuss it. So what do you think?“ John said.
Jane was delighted that her mother-in-law would visit and said, “That is good news; I miss her a lot. We can start planning for her visit, and I am sure the children will be happy to see their grandmother.“ John felt delighted and said, “That is okay. I will let her know you have accepted her to visit our home.”
Jane replied, “Pass my greetings to her, and I want to let you know that James has a soccer tournament this weekend. I am sorry you will have to carpool again.“ John replied, “No problem, honey. It is good that he has become more active in sports. In the meantime, you can plan for the visit and let me know how we will go about it.“ Jane replied, “That should not worry you anymore; I will let you know as soon as possible.“
John grabbed her and kissed her forehead, saying, “I know you will. You never fail me, and I love you more.“ Jane replied, “I love you too,“ she added, “I guess you must be tired. Can we go to bed?“ John said, “Sure, I had a long day; we can go and have a rest.”
Areas to Remedy the Communication Between John and Jane
Several key elements in communication limited the exchange between John and Jane. The couple lacked active listening, as indicated by Jane, who did not listen to John keenly and reacted by shrugging her shoulders and nodding. Jafari et al. (2021, P.231) state that “a couple has to practice the free expression of their thoughts.“
Jane should have used the approach and clarified her understanding of the situation. Their exchange was also filled with assumptions and unexpressed concerns. John makes several assumptions regarding Kane’s failure to talk about his mother’s visit. He believes that Jane does not want his mom to visit and believes she might think he invited her to bother her. These assumptions create tension and misunderstandings between the couple.
Nonetheless, the couple can rectify their exchange by listening actively to their concerns without interrupting. This includes paraphrasing what the other person has said to ensure understanding and empathy toward their feelings. The couple can choose to have open and honest communication. Jane could have expressed her thoughts, concerns, and desires to John openly and honestly.
Johnson et al. (2021) state that sharing individual viewpoints can avoid misunderstandings or assumptions and allow a more productive conversation. Using “I“ statements helps express personal feelings and needs. For example, John could have said, “I feel concerned about my mom’s visit because I want to make sure we’re both comfortable with it,“ rather than making assumptions regarding Jane’s thoughts and feelings.
Furthermore, the couple could have healthier communication by seeking clarification. If John was unsure or Jane was unclear, he could have asked for clarification instead of making assumptions. Jafari et al. (2021) state that the approach would have helped to avoid miscommunication and allow for better mutual understanding. Compromise is also essential in facilitating healthier communication and finding solutions that meet their needs. Exploring alternatives and considering each other’s perspectives would help to reach a compromise that accommodates John’s desire for his mom’s visit and Jane’s concerns about their schedule.
Conclusion
John and Jane’s interaction was strained because they did not express themselves appropriately when discussing John’s mother’s impending visit. The couple seems avoidant and uses nonverbal cues to express themselves, but they cannot communicate effectively. Technology can enhance John and Jane’s interaction level, but only if they are keen on the negative impacts. Aspects such as active listening can be enhanced by the couple being open to one another, showing restraint, and being compromising.
References
Jafari, A., Alami, A., Charoghchian, E., Delshad Noghabi, A., & Nejatian, M. (2021). The impact of effective communication skills training on the status of marital burnout among married women. BMC Women’s Health, 21(1), 231. Web.
Joachim, C. O., Benedeth, L. U., & Chinenye, I. O. (2022). Influence of marital communication on family stability of married teachers in Nsukka education zone. Educational Research and Reviews, 17(3), 103–108. Web.
Johnson, M. D., Lavner, J. A., Mund, M., Zemp, M., Stanley, S. M., Neyer, F. J., Impett, E. A., Rhoades, G. K., Bodenmann, G., Weidmann, R., Buhler, J. L., Burriss, R. P., Wunsche, J., & Grob, A. (2021). Within-couple associations between communication and relationship satisfaction over time. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 48(4). Web.
Rohmah, L. F., Noviekayati, I., & Saragih, S. (2020). Effective communication training to improve the satisfaction of wedding marriage / long distance marriage (LDM) review marriage commitments from marriage commitment. International Journal of Multicultural and Multireligious Understanding, 7(8), 459. Web.