Managing Conflict: Understanding Interpersonal Communication

Conflicts are something that all people encounter in their life, that is why understanding different ways of handling them is important to ensure successful and effective conflict resolution. Bevan (2020) defines conflict as a disagreement or argument, providing certain criteria that should be met for a situation to be considered a conflict. First, the discontent should be expressed by one or both parties involved; second, there should be at least two individuals whose choices affect each other in some way. Finally, these individuals have to perceive the other party’s interests as interfering with their own goals or demands (Bevan, 2020). An example of a conflict situation will be presented in this essay, and conflict strategies to handle it will be analyzed.

Interpersonal Conflict in Modern Family

An example of the interpersonal conflict can be seen in the 11th episode of the first season of an American sitcom series Modern Family. It is the disagreement that occurs between Mitchell and Cameron on which parenting style is more appropriate for Lily, their adopted daughter. Mitchell believes that it is more effective to ignore the child when she is crying. However, Cameron does not support him and tries to come to Lily and comfort her every time he hears her crying. Their conflicting views even result in a physical confrontation when Mitchell tries to prevent Cameron from going to Lily (Lloyd & Levitan, 2010, 0:16:03). This conflict meets the criteria described by Bevan (2020); first, Mitchell and Cameron disagree with each other’s views on this aspect of parenting. Second, both of them have opinions which affect the other’s preferences: Mitchell claims that Lily should be ignored, which Cameron considers to be cruel and unnecessary (Bevan, 2020). Finally, the other person’s views contradict their perceptions of appropriate parenting style.

Conflict Strategies

It can be argued that the conflict between these characters was not handled efficiently due to several reasons. First, they were both too emotional in the argument: while Cameron could not resist feeling bad for Lily when she cried, Mitchell got angry and frustrated with his partner’s unwillingness to act responsibly. Additionally, these emotional exchanges did not allow them to discuss all the advantages and disadvantages of their approaches in a calm and reasonable manner. This argument has demonstrated two conflict strategies suggested by Bevan. One of them is competing, as both Mitchell and Cameron put their own views on the situation first, not thinking about their partner’s reasons for certain behaviors. Another style demonstrated partly in the situation is avoidance; this is seen when Cameron, instead of arguing, chooses to leave the room “to make a cup of tea” (Lloyd & Levitan, 2010, 0:15:30). Neither of these styles have led the characters to the resolution of the conflict, but only made them more emotional and angry at each other.

The two strategies suggested by Bevan that could be used in order to come to a more efficient solution are collaboration and compromise. For example, if Cameron had had a lower concern for himself and his sentimental feelings, he could have realized that Mitchell’s approach may have positive effects on Lily in the long term. As a result, they would be more likely to collaborate. At the same time, if Mitchell tried to increase his concern for Cameron’s feelings, he would have been able to suggest a compromise beneficial for all parties involved.

To conclude, it can be stated that conflicts can vary significantly, requiring different approaches and strategies to resolve. Bevan’s definition of conflict can be seen in the argument between Mitchell and Cameron from the TV series Modern Family (2020). This conflict meets the criteria and the strategies suggested by Bevan: avoidance and competition. However, the strategies of compromise and collaboration could have led the characters to an agreement sooner.

References

Bevan, J. L. (2020). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communicaton (3rd ed.). Zovio.

Lloyd, C. & Levitan, S. (Directors). (2010). Up All Night (Season 1, Episode 11) [TV series episode], Modern Family. American Broadcasting Company.

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