Introduction
Many graduates like Nikkah, the author of this book know from their experiences that students who fail to tell problems at this level hardly succeed in their lives. This is to say that teens who do not freely talk about themselves usually slow down their rate of growth and development. In order to understand the issues that affect boys at this level the author got in touch with nearly 5,000 schools across the country searching for the voices of boys. Here, he asked them their ambitions and their worries. In short, in his search Nikkah was asking the boys what are their lives really like as they transform from childhood to maturity.
After going through this collections of American‘s boys voices, we see how they need to be assisted by their parents and teachers in their this transition period. One of the key issues we learn from the boys’ stories is that they demonstrate how boys are concerned about their experiences and how they learn from them. Nikkah in this book provides us with an exceptionally revealing insight on the mind and issues that affect boys at this age.
From Our Boys Speak we learn that school boys face numerous problems which cause them have anti-social behaviors. This collection of their experiences sheds light on such common problems faced by the boys at this age and how parents can resolve such problems in teens.
We get to know that teenage years as one of the most challenging phases in growth and development both parents and their boys. It is evident that, as boys approach their teenage there are various transformations they go through, both emotionally and physically. Clearly, parenting boys at this phase in their life is a difficult task and that parent should not blame young boys for that. Assisting troubled boys come out their problems is a duty that lies squarely on their parents. It now than never before that parent learn to spent a considerable time with their teens. This can allow them the time required in looking at their problems rather than worrying about them. Parents should recall that the passed through the same phase and hence relating to their stresses and difficulties should only make it easier (Brooks, 2008). Parents should understand that at this age, boys are as responsive as girls, and in many times they do not really illustrate their feelings. And therefore it is worth parents understand which are the usual worries that boys face at this stage in their life.
Usual problems faced by boys
From this work we get to know that boys at this age generally face identity problems, particularly when they are in a group. This is the cause of their unrest and worry when one feels that he is not with his peers. Nearly all young boys are incapable of dealing with pressure from their age sets. Another problem which school boys face is that of popularity. At this phase in life, the boys become aware of many things. Majority of them love being attractive but not all succeed and this lowers their confidence. At this stage boys are particularly concerned about their appearances. Being loved and attractive to girls is always at the center of their minds. When they fail at this they get worried all times.
Moreover school boys worry on their performance. Nearly all school boys feel the pressure to do well in his subjects and other non-academic activities. Demands from the teachers and parents to work hard thrust them in depression. This leads them to feel more pressured and troubled (Brooks, 2008). Further more when their academic performances do not match their hard work, their likely to be more pressured than before.
Drugs abuse in high schools is also to be blamed for boys’ problems. When schools boys get depressed and lack confident the more often than not turn to drugs. In a number of times the boys are forced by their peers to use them. To be with their friends these boys go for farthest means without knowing the bad consequences. School boys who are “dumped” by their lovers suffer deeply emotionally. As result of their dating teens tend to lose their concentrations on studies and as such their performance declines. In such cases boys opt for severe measures to resolve these problems. Additionally boys who come from troubled family background tend to be emotionally weak.
Assisting troubled school boys
At this stage in life the boys required love and care. Parents and teachers ought to demonstrate how well they understand them and their problems. They need to demonstrate appreciation for what they do even about trivial issues. This will assist them in trusting them and allow them open up about their experiences in life. At this stage, parents and teacher needs to be their companions and friends.
A positive approach is very essential in resolving many problems faced by boys at this stage. This is because this is the only way both teachers and parent can instill confidence in the schools. Parents should be practically concerned about them rather than being disgust on their problem. Boys at this phase require care and love and need to be informed on these problem and this can enable them solve them when they arise.
Health environment is also very essential at this phase in life as it allows smooth transition to adulthood. Young boys usually tend to feel not safe particularly when parents are disagreeing. For this reason parents should love their boys and shun from blaming them. They should be honest about their feelings and be trustful to their boys by having a well and mature talk about problems affecting the family.
Parents should always serve a role model to their young boys so that in turn they can copy them. This minimizes their feelings of diffidence. For this reason parents should share a good understanding degree with their boys. Parents should converse with their young boys more open. This is because effective communication from parents’ side will make them have confidence and trust. Parents therefore be open to their young boys and talk everything with their boys that from sex to drug abuse. They also make sure boys understand their physical changes.
Conclusion
We learn that parenting school boys needs both their parents’ time as well as their care. It will need parents to act as companion and friends to their boys. In this way many problems young boys face at this phase in their life can be resolved. Our Boys Speak provides us with the best of these responses from boys between the ages of 12 to 18 from different settings. From the book both the parents and teachers comes to new understandings about their school. This is a very important book for parents, young boys, teachers as well as the soul.
References
Brooks, JB. (2008).The Process of Parenting. 7th edition, Mountain View, Ca: Mayfield Publishing. Co.
Nikkah, J. (2000) Our Boys Speak: Adolescent Boys Write About Their Inner Lives. St. Martin’s Griffin,