Introduction
Marriages and relationships are important in the society as they form the basis of bringing up children. According to Strong et al (2011), a “marriage is a legally recognized union between two people, mainly a man and a woman, in which they are united sexually, cooperate economically and may give birth or adopt children” (p. 7). Marriages can be permanent such that only death parts the two partners, or it can be temporary such that it is cut short by separation and divorce. There are different forms of families that humans are associated with including married couples, single parents, and childfree families. No matter what kind of family one is associated with, there should be a conducive environment for the growth of children.
According to Strong et al (2011), a family contributes to the society by producing or adopting children, who replace the older generation upon its demise. There are many ways of producing children apart from the intimate biological method; these include artificial insemination and vitro fertilization. However, regardless of how children are procreated, the important issue is how to raise these children in an impressive and disciplinary manner, so that they can become role models to their siblings and to the public as well. Hence, there are several strategies that parents can adopt while raising their children.
Strategies Raising a Child
According to Dr. Ryan (2002), raising good children of character demands time and attention from the parents. His advice is that, parents should be able to plan and set time aside for their children; this way, they are able to be parents by watching and correcting their children’s behavior. Secondly, parents should be able to spend quality time with their children, and this should be daily or weekly, he adds that good parents try to understand and learn their children’s lives and engage themselves in their children’s lives at times. Thirdly, parents should be able to be role models to their children. It is only by being a good example that children will grow admirably. Importantly, children have a tendency of learning fast from their surrounding, and since parents are the closest to the children, most behaviors acquired by children are derived from their parents.
Fourthly, parents should develop a habit of being observant and attentive to what kind of information their children are exposed to at all times, especially what they see and hear on the television, internet, and movies, such that they develop curiosity to certain issues. Parents should therefore control the flow of information and images that influence their children. Parents should also be able to communicate in the language of character, which distinguishes right from wrong.
Punishment should also be encouraged incases of indiscipline, but the punishment should be conducted with the understanding of the child, such that, he should be able to know and understand why he is been punished. Just as adults, children need to be listened to; therefore, good parents should lend an ear to what their children are saying and take them seriously so that the children may not feel as if they are been taken for-granted.
Parents should also make sure that they follow up their children’s school life in order to gauge their performance and help them aim higher. By doing this, a child is able to develop self-confidence and a strong character. Children’s hard work should also be rewarded so that they can feel appreciated and motivated. Finally, parents should be able to delegate duties to their children in order to enhance responsibility and morals. Duties encourage children to be active and appreciate what they have; some duties may include making the bed, washing the dishes and taking out the rubbish bin. With such duties, a child learns that one has to work to achieve anything in life, and working is not a punishment – it is a way of life that makes people more responsible (Ryan, 2002).
Parenting Styles
According to Strong et al (2011), “a parent’s approach to training, teaching, nurturing and helping a child varies according to cultural influences, the parent personality and the parent basic attitude towards child rearing, in addition to the role model that the parent presents to the child” (p. 363). He further emphasizes on four basic styles of child rearing – authoritarian, permissive, authoritative and uninvolved. Authoritarian child rearing style involves maximum obedience, and this style is mostly associated with the term “because I said so” from the parents. Physical force may be used in this style to ensure that the children are obedient. Strong argues that, children whose parents are authoritarian “tend to be moody, unhappy and are vulnerable to stress” (Strong, 2011, p. 364).
The permissive child rearing style entertains child’s freedom as long as the children explain; children are free from external restraint but not from the internal restraints. Parents who are permissive make few demands on their children and they do not control their children especially adolescents. To some extent, such freedom is viewed not healthy for the child’s development. According to Berryman et al (2002), authoritative style of parenting involves verbal communication and the reason behind a decision is usually explained to a child. A child’s expression is encouraged and respected. Children in this parenting style are not suppressed with restrictions.
The parents know their place as decision makers but also appreciate their children’s feelings. Finally, in the indulgent parenting style, the parents provide emotional and physical support. They exercise democracy and enhance trust between them and their children; they rarely control their children. However, the indifferent parents are not supportive or controlling, they are just dormant when it comes to their children lives. In general, such parents avoid the emotional concern of their children since they spend little time with them (Gullatto et al, 2005).
Parents should understand that discipline is the key to proper growth of a child. Hence, they should be in a position to encourage rewards as a form of discipline whereby, when a child performs well in his duties or class work he is rewarded. This reward strategy encourages a child to always behave well and avoid trouble. On the other hand, parents should learn to fulfill the promises they make to their children; that way, children will not have a reason to doubt their parents – they will have trust in their parents. However, parenting may differ among people; according to Aldort (2006), love remains love when there are no conditions attached. When love is used as a reward for a behavior, it ceases to be love and instead becomes a lesson of give and take.
Conclusion
Child rearing is a sensitive issue, which involves bringing up a child, thus it needs to be handled with a lot of care by parents and guardians. Sometimes, children may turn out to be the complete opposite of their parent’s expectations in terms of morals and attitudes; hence, it is essential for parents to be observant of how they bring up these children. Parents are usually the role models of their children and it is important that parents carry themselves well around their children, since most of the behaviors that are acquired are usually from within the home. Parents should also let their children know how they feel about their behaviors. This way, since a child would not want to see his parent sad, they will definitely change.
Children also need to be listened to at all times. Parents should be able to stoop low to their children level to make them feel listened to and understood and important. Children should also be assigned with duties and responsibilities that will contribute to their growing responsibly. In order to avoid rebelliousness in children, parents should try to understand and listen to what their children have to say.
When a parent becomes her child’s best friend, there is a possibility of knowing when something is wrong with the child, since there is an attachment and bond between them. In addition, parents can choose to be strict, lenient, or moderate when raising their children; however, regardless of the parenting style used, it influences the kind of people they become in future. Finally, parents should understand that raising a child involves both parents if it is in a marriage set up; this way, the parents are able to discuss on how to raise their children together.
References
Aldort, N. (2006). Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming Parent-child Relationships from Reaction and Struggle to Freedom, Power and Joy. Bothell: Book Publishers network.
Berryman, J. et al. (2002). Developmental psychology and you. Second Edition. New York: Wiley-Blackwell publishers.
Gullatto, T. et al. (2005). Handbook of adolescent behavioral problems: evidence-based approaches to prevention and treatment. New York: Springer publishers.
Ryan, K. (2002). 10 Tips for Raising Children of Character. Web.
Strong, B. et al. (2010). The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society. Eleventh Edition. Ohio: Cengage learning publishers.