Therapy for Building Meaningful Relationships

Introduction

There are individuals in life that have difficulty when it comes to forming or sustaining relationships with other people. In this case, there is a client who is male and has issues making or maintaining relationships with women. The client reports that he faces anxiety at the thought of being in a meaningful relationship. His only sexual encounter happened with an older woman when he was twenty-seven years old. They moved in together and ended up breaking up after five months. The other party accused Lucas, who is the client, of neediness and being controlling. Since his split from the woman, he has lacked motivation and mood. All this has made him wonder what might be wrong with him, and this is why therapy is essential. In treatment for this client, there are two approaches that have been selected that are cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT and the person-centered approach.

On the one hand, CBT is an approach that helps a therapist identify unhelpful or negative thoughts as well as behavior patterns. This approach targets to assist in the identification and exploration of the ways someone’s emotions plus thoughts can impact their actions. It is a very useful tool for addressing emotional issues. On the other hand, the person-centered approach deals with the ways in which someone views themselves consciously instead of how a therapist interprets their unconscious ideas or thoughts. A therapist aims to comprehend the client’s experience from their viewpoint. They have a duty to value the patient positively as an individual in every aspect of their humanity, whereas targeting to be genuine and open. This is important in helping patients feel accepted, and thus, they can better comprehend their emotions. This paper looks at the two approaches and suggests an ideal method to use to help the client in the case study.

Key Features of the Two Approaches

CBT is an approach that offers a way of comprehending the experience of the world, allowing individuals to make alterations if necessary. The process accomplishes this by breaking down people’s experiences into four key components: thoughts, feelings, behaviors, plus physiology (Baglioni, Altena, Bjorvatn, et al., 2020). It suggests that if an individual can learn to recognize and comprehend the four components and the way they interact, they can explain their problems and the solutions. The elements are connected and thus influence each other (Baglioni, Altena, Bjorvatn, et al., 2020). This means that individuals must work on the four to cause a change. Another unique feature of CBT is that it does not ignore factors such as eating disorders, ecological triggers, and relationships.

Every person is peculiar in terms of how they view the world, process information, and their personality. This is the reason behind various kinds of counseling as well as therapy. An approach could work effectively in one person and fail in the other. A safe surrounding is necessary for a person-centered approach due to the client leading the session (Tomczyk, Schomerus, Stolzenburg, et al., 2018). Physical and emotional threats must be eliminated for the purpose of openness, personal growth and comfort. Thus, there are vital ideas and principles that encourage conditions trusted to accomplish this surrounding, especially in the therapy room. The three include emphatic understanding, congruence, and unconditional positive regard. The first concept involves the therapist attempting to understand the patient’s viewpoint. The second concept means the therapist is a genuine individual. The third concept means the therapist is non-judgmental.

Formulation of The Client’s Difficulties Based on CBT Approach

The client’s difficulties can be understood based on the CBT approach by studying the negative patterns in his life. It is safe to say that the client has never experienced stability in his life. First, after being born in Spain, he and his family moved to England when he was three years. Two years later, Pedro, his father, split up with the client’s mother because he discovered that he was not his biological dad. Later, the client’s mother moved in with Christopher, who was Lucas’s biological father. Pedro, who seemed to endear the client, visits him during the weekends soon after breaking up with his mother. When he reaches seven years old, his initial father leaves for Spain, and the contact between the two is lost and reduced to just once a year. This is the first time that the client has developed issues of low mood and anxiety.

Upon being seventeen years old, Lucas’s biological father broke up with his mother. All the relationships around the client have failed, especially those that directly affect him (Soh, Ho, Tam, et al., 2020). These are the same relationships that would have offered a blueprint on how he could make and sustain healthy relationships, but it does not happen that way. He lacks the male figures he could look up to as role models in his life. For instance, very early in his life, he had to part ways with the man he believed to be his father. This is a very delicate stage in his life, and thus, it is cemented in his psyche. The man who is his biological father also leaves them when he is seventeen. These incidents form a pattern that makes the client anxious when thinking about commitment in a relationship. It can also be said that he fears failing like his father’s and mother’s relationships did.

Suggestions for Therapeutic Intervention Based on CBT Approach

The client has the fear that he will fail in relationships just as the male figures in his life and thus the anxiety when thinking about starting one. CBT approach helps to deal with various kinds of fears or phobias. Intervention for this client would rely on multiple factors, including how he experiences anxiety and the effect it has on his life. In most cases, individuals like Lucas are encouraged to utilize taught mechanisms to deal with their feelings (Kellett, Oxborough & Gaskell, 2021). If the fear hinders his ability to act normally, like his peers, a therapist would recommend certain medications. These are prescribed to assist one in managing the feelings of depression and anxiety that might be connected to fear. Additionally, it is essential for the client to find people he has a close relationship with, for instance, his mother, to talk about his fears too. This will help him realize that his issue is not that big and thus can be overcome.

Formulation of The Client’s Difficulties Based on a Person-Centered Approach

Here, a therapist uses a different approach to form an opinion about the difficulties encountered by the client. His issues can be understood better by studying what the other wishes to accomplish but has not been able to (Park, Wilkinson-Meyers, King, et al., 2021). For instance, the client desires to form relationships just like his peers. The fact that he was able to enter a relationship at age twenty-seven means that he has the ability to do. The problem with Lucas is that he has not explored enough relationship-wise. The longest relationship he has been in is the one with his mother.

His background information shows that when he was sent away from home to study for a degree in economics, he could not last longer than two terms as he found his way back home. Not forgetting that despite not loving football, he still has memories of when Christopher took him to games on Sundays. This approach helps in recognizing his strengths instead of his flaws and therefore maximizes his chances of improving (Paterson, Roberts, Toohey, et al., 2020). He has shown that he has the ability to sustain a connection and only that he has little experience. In adulthood, he has failed to realize his desire for a healthy relationship which is something that he can correct.

Suggestions for Therapeutic Intervention Based on a Person-Centered Approach

As mentioned in intervention suggestions based on CBT, the client can also use self-help methods to help deal with the difficulty of forming and sustaining relationships with women. Despite all the problems in his life, the person-centered approach has helped to reveal some positive signs of improvement. It is vital that Lucas focuses on the things that he can control. This means that he should focus on the positive side of things; for example, after breaking up, he should feel as if he cannot start another relationship and sustain it (Jones, 2020). The five months together showed that he can maintain, and if he capitalizes on his strengths, he could achieve a healthy relationship. Focusing on things only one can control gives one the power to move on quickly.

Another part of this intervention is a redefining failure for him. Modifying how he thinks about loss may also assist in reducing the feelings of anxiety. It is crucial for Lucas to understand that he can fail in his attempts to form relationships, and that is part of life. The times he fails to serve as an opportunity for him to learn and become better. It is certainly disappointing; however, it is essential to maintain a healthy view of the possible benefits of failing from time to time (Deygout & Auburtin, 2020). The more attempts he has, the more knowledge he gets on how to handle relationships and a thus more significant chance of forming one that lasts.

CBT Approach Vs. Person-Centered Approach

There are similarities between the two approaches used in therapy regarding their therapeutic interventions. For instance, both approaches use the core conditions of unconditional positive regard empathy as well as congruence (Heslop-Marshall, Baker, Carrick-Sen, et al., 2018). Additionally, the relationship between the counsellor and client is similar in both approaches by means of the former being harmonious, and both of them would utilize the skills of paraphrasing, reflection, and summarizing. In both, the client is primed for the ultimate ending of a few sessions before the actual end of counseling (Cooper, Messow, McConnachie, et al., 2018). The intervention that involves immediacy in person-centered could be contrasted with the method of transference utilized in the CBT approach. Despite the similarities between the two approaches, there are differences that make therapists choose to use a specific one for a particular client. For instance, regarding therapeutic interventions, the person-centered approach is non-directive, while cognitive behavioral therapy is goal orientated and guided.

In CBT, a client is taught skills that are necessary for their change which would lower their emotional angst. In a person-centered approach, a counselor allows the client to self-direct their growth. The amount of sessions in this approach is open-ended, while in CBT, the period is set by the counselor (Barkham, Saxon, Hardy, et al., 2021). Both of these approaches have benefits that the client in the case study can enjoy towards his improvement journey. However, the person-centered approach is the most ideal for dealing with the client’s issues. This is because it helps him in harnessing intrinsic motivation plus accomplish long-lasting behavior change. An individual is the best expert in their own lives, plus positive change is possible and within reach as long as there is support available.

Conclusion

Forming and sustaining relationships with individuals of the opposite gender can be difficult for some people. Much of this depends on various issues surrounding the life of an individual. For instance, in the paper, it is clear that the client understudy grew up around unstable relationships that offered the wrong impression of relationships. This later interfered with his confidence when approaching people of the opposite gender. The paper shows that he has anxiety the moment he thinks of forming a relationship with a woman despite being heterosexual. There are various ways to help understand his problem and suggest solutions. In the paper, the approaches used are CBT and the person-centered approach.

Despite the similarities and differences between the two, an ideal approach to help deal with Lucas’ issues is the person-centered approach. The approach helps an individual gain intrinsic motivation and accomplish a long-term behavior change. Unlike in CBT, a counselor focuses on the client and his ability to offer solutions to his own problems by himself. A counselor might prefer this method because of the belief that an ideal specialist in an individual’s life is themselves. It is important that individuals with relationship issues identify first that they have a problem and seek help because change is possible and can be achieved when support is available.

References

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