Being one of the most ancient social formations, the notion of marriage has attracted the attention of many thinkers and researchers throughout human history. This interest is associated with the desire to understand the place and role of marriage in society. It is also conditioned by the need for a family to fulfill the vital function of the reproduction of the human race. Any discussion about the future of marriage requires a clear understanding of the historical evolution of this institution, as well as the reasons for its recent transformations.
Throughout history, the main goal of marriage was not the right choice of a partner for living together in love but the right choice of relatives. Because of the crucial economic and political functions that marriage performed, the vast majority of societies in the past believed that young people should not be free to choose their marriage partners. In her article The World Historical Transformation of Marriage, Stephanie Coontz argues that for millennia, marriage has been more about securing economic, political, and gender hierarchies than marital happiness (Coontz, 2004). Wives and children were deprived of many legal protections associated with marriage today. Until the end of the 19th century, husbands had the right to punish their powerless wives and children, and physically restrict their freedom (Coontz, 2004). Marriage gave men power and monopoly of ownership of all the wife’s dowry upon marriage and any income that she subsequently received.
In the modern world, the attitude towards marriage is radically changing. Journalist and writer Rebecca Traister, the author of All the Single Ladies, argues that in today’s world, it is acceptable to be either married or unmarried (Traister, 2016). Women do not abandon marriage deliberately; rather, they cannot find a partner with whom their life will become better, and there are enough ways to improve it without a man. Rebecca Traister’s research on the lives of unmarried women in the United States looks at all the aspects of their lives and draws parallels with the lives of unmarried women in past centuries. She concludes that many single women have been politically and socially active at all times (Traister, 2016). They devoted their energies to fighting for social and political rights that changed the whole society. The number of unmarried women today is unprecedented across all classes, races, and geographic regions. For centuries, poor women who lacked money and status had to “throw themselves into early marriages” (Traister 2016: 199). Today, thanks to the political, social, and economic victories of the second wave of feminism, women have begun to earn money, open up new areas of activity, and gain access to contraception without the risk of stigmatization. The large-scale social change ensures that people all around the world continue to experiment with various alternatives to marriage.
My notions of love, family, and marriage completely coincide with the readings. While our society still thinks that being unmarried is not a norm, many people prefer to stay single or wait until they are much older. For my relatives, who have old-fashioned views on marriage, the crucial factor of creating a family is age, while I am sure that an individual must be mature and financially independent to get married and raise children. The rise in the average age of getting married gives more stability. I am not ready to give up my ambitions and achievements trying to create a stable family. Thus, I expect mutual respect, love, support, and understanding from marriage.
Economic independence gained by women and the weakening of coercive powers of the state in people’s personal lives have helped to transform the meaning of marriage. These factors create a situation in which the social weight of marriage has been fundamentally and irreversibly reduced. There is no reason for people to give up trying to create a successful family, but the institution of marriage cannot be reinforced with the outdated guidelines for gender roles anymore.
References
Coontz, S. (2004). The world historical transformation of marriage. Journal of Marriage and Family, 66(4), 974-979.
Traister, R. (2016). All the single ladies: Unmarried women and the rise of an independent nation. Simon and Schuster.