Both TED Talks by Peggy Orenstein and Philip Zimbardo, although exploring different gender perspectives and general topics, emphasize the barriers that young men and women encounter when attempting to formulate their own understandings of intimacy and sexual relations. By using data from their research involving actual participants, the two speakers point to the misalignment between the socially established expectations and what individuals want for themselves. For example, in her talk, “What Young Women Believe About Their Own Sexual Pleasure” Orenstein argues that girls and young women are severely underinformed about the importance of attaining personal pleasure from intimate relations as they have predominantly put the pleasure of men above their own. Zimbardo discusses the opposite issue – the ‘arousal addiction’ among young men who are always looking for new sexual experiences while fearing women and actual intimacy, preferring male friendships as a means of connecting with other people (“The Demise of Guys?”). This comes at odds with genuine relationships with women, the building of which takes a lot of time.
To make sure that younger people are better prepared to deal with the challenges associated with sex and intimacy, comprehensive and multi-dimensional education is essential. It is problematic that neither schools nor colleges pay attention to the need to educate young people on the importance of understanding one’s desires for intimacy and learning to respect the desires and expectations of others. However, considering the severity of the mentioned issues, it is likely that general education alone cannot solve the challenges. It is imperative that young men and women consider therapy if they find intimacy and sexual relationships challenging because of the importance of achieving balance within themselves without adhering to harmful social standards.
Work Cited
“The Demise of Guys?” Ted, 2011, Web.