Introduction
Dating and romantic relationships are common and crucial aspects of life in adolescence and the early years of adulthood. Scholars have emphasized the relative significance of dating, which is vital for society and individuals. Close, good relations have been associated with enhanced physical and mental well-being, a more vibrant sense of belonging, and more significant results regarding personal growth. Dating during teenage and early adulthood helps people build their identities and gives them the socialization experiences they need to form and maintain close and interpersonal connections later in life. Marriage and family life are essential aspects of Chinese culture in China, and young people and teenagers frequently assume that they will ultimately find a partner. A more comprehensive comprehension of how modern Chinese adolescents approach dating and personal relationships is what is missing, though. Researchers have urged more empirical research on partner choice in contemporary urban China, particularly on dating attitudinal and expectation aspects and potential gender differences. The following article clarifies the nature of these attitudes and expectations and any possible differences between men and women in dating.
Dating and Relationships
Dating and love relationships are seen differently in China since teenagers and young people may hold more liberal views than their parents. Researchers have discovered that Chinese parents frequently reject teen dating due to their more conventional outlooks (Wu & Trottier, 2021). However, it is generally acknowledged that dating is growing in popularity among young Chinese dating has quickly risen in popularity, especially among college students in China. Even dating practices seem to be evolving rapidly over time. Kissing and holding hands in public is now more prevalent in China than it may have been a few decades ago. For these young adults, who are frequently out of their parent’s sight, college life may give chances for dating and sexual behavior (Wu & Trottier, 2021). Researchers have previously documented Chinese college students’ dating and sexual activity, but surprisingly little is known about teenagers’ views and expectations regarding these behaviors.
It seems that contemporary Chinese college students are embracing a courting and romantic relationship worldview that prioritizes momentary pleasure above paths to marriage. Premarital sex, for instance, is approved by 86% of respondents in certain polls. In contrast, according to other research, most men prefer their wives to be virgins when married (Wu & Trottier, 2021). Since schools and universities have considerably restricted student interactions, a large portion may also be attributable to institutional changes. Universities frequently use educational programs and rules to try and deter students from engaging in sexual behavior. However, a study carried out in 2001 and 2006 outlined a high increase in youths participating in sex before marriage (Wu, 2020). It should be no surprise that Chinese parents firmly prevent their girls and boys from becoming sexually active. Many are against their kids even being in romantic relationships.
The Cultural and Social Background of Dating
The more excellent social environment in which dating takes place significantly impacts aspects of dating, including suitable actions during courtship and the ideal age to start dating. Additionally, academics say the more significant cultural environment affects attitudes and expectations regarding dating and close relationships. However, China has a long history and a rich cultural backdrop. The world’s earliest written record is found there, along with the most extended continuous usage of a written language.
The traditional Chinese expectations for marriage and dating have a long history and are primarily influenced by Confucian philosophy and ancestor worship. This viewpoint places excellent value on filial piety and maintaining family ties. Therefore, marriage is a must, especially for men, since it is the culmination of intimate relationships. One of the most lasting aspects of Chinese culture is “Xiao,” which denotes filial piety in its most basic form. Children are expected to live entirely in service of their parents and families, as is the traditional expectation in “Xiao” (Wu, 2020). It calls for taking care of parents in their later years, especially for sons. It naturally puts a lot of pressure on boys who have never been married to talk to their parents about finding and choosing a suitable bride who will also help care for their elderly parents. Finding a bride becomes a priority for sons because of “Xiao,” which changes how dating is perceived.
China is often viewed as a collectivistic culture where responsibilities to larger social organizations and society are valued more than personal characteristics and desires. Romantic love is necessary for marital happiness and fulfillment in individualistic societies. Therefore, in individualistic cultures, individual choice is more likely to occur in dating relationships and mate selection procedures. Young people in collective cultures are prompted to see the love and romantic relationships from the perspective of their more excellent family and social responsibilities. As a result, young adults in collectivistic societies may stress the practical benefits of dating and marriage rather than being overly concerned with the concepts of love and passion. China’s political, economic, and social developments happened quite quickly when Mao Tse-rule Tung’s ended, and the old USSR fell apart.
The post-Mao Chinese government has progressively promoted the growth of the free market and economic modernization financial practices like those in developed Western nations. In recent years, social regulations, such as the infamous “One-Child Policy,” have been eased, enabling people to better match partners who share their goals for having children (Wang, 2019). Teenagers now have more choices in such selections than when arranged marriages were more common and family relationships were prioritized in Chinese Society. It is possible that China’s cultural tastes and real dating and mate-selection behaviors are changing significantly, especially when paired with other developments like increasing rates of female educational attainment and more sexual engagement among young adults.
The economic developments have significantly impacted traditional family structures and practices. Economic reasons have significantly changed Chinese culture’s collectivism in several significant ways. First, there has been a gradual turn, and the demand for partnerships based on passion and Western conceptions of love has supplanted the traditional married relationships frequently created out of need. Lastly, Chinese women are increasingly more economically independent due to their rising educational and career success, reducing their desire to find a partner to secure financial stability. Therefore, as sustained by long-standing Chinese cultural expectations, the conventional combination of sex, marriage, and family has diminished in importance, especially regarding acting as a basis for partner selection and dating.
Younger cohorts may approach dating and partner selection differently from the preceding generation since they have been exposed to more individualism and Western culture. However, because filial responsibility is still a genuine value in Chinese Society and continues to link children to their parents, these younger generations must also acknowledge the existence of enduring standards (Wang, 2019). Indeed, recent research has indicated that Chinese parents still significantly influence dating and marriage-related decisions. According to a Taiwanese study, young adults are moving away from traditional expectations regarding dating and romance. A sample from the Chinese mainland revealed that many youths married of their own free decision but still wished to carry out their parents’ desires (Wang, 2019). It is possible that there are traditional expectations and fresher, more current viewpoints on dating and selecting a mate in modern-day China. It will be interesting to watch if one set of expectations dominates and if new ideas on dating and partner choice blend or develop.
Gender and Dating
Studies have found a significant gap between the sexes regarding dating and relationship choices, with a persistent double standard. A woman’s ideal attribute is attractiveness, whereas a man’s perfect trait is intelligence for women. Males are typically supposed to get married later in life after becoming financially successful. In contrast, Chinese women are expected to marry younger while still at the height of their physical beauty and ability to carry children. Studies from the recent past seem to support the existence of stereotypes regarding young men and women (Tao, 2022). Men are more frequently seen as severe, ambitious, obstinate, dishonest, independent, and powerful, whereas women are reserved, fearful, impulsive, gentle, sad, timid, and jealous.
Chinese males and females have had distinct roles and privileges that were patriarchal for many centuries, but these antiquated divisions may be eroding. Women are currently outpacing men in educational accomplishments, for example, after traditionally trailing behind them. In Chinese colleges and universities, women now outnumber males regarding enrolment and completion rates (Dashkovskiy, 2019). Women’s employment in China has always been assured and is equal to that of males. Chinese women may preserve more egalitarian ideas on gender and gender roles due to higher educational attainment levels, comparable work and wage levels, and other factors. However, how these gendered norms impact modern dating attitudes and practices is still unclear. It is significant to address the issue of the population sex ratio while addressing gender-related problems that can affect how young Chinese people choose partners and dates.
Conclusion
Despite its challenges, dating in China may be quite beneficial if done so with an open mind. Chinese people do not follow the normal dating cycle of meeting, dating, and becoming engaged, as they do not date regularly. The lady will assume that you are in a relationship with her if the first date goes well, so there is no need to broach the subject of moving things forward. In Western culture, two men pursuing the same woman would frequently quarrel. However, this is not a problem in Chinese dating culture. Chinese women, in contrast to women of other ethnic groups, are realistic and adhere to traditional traditions. Instead of using words, they do actions to show their love. Everyone wants their mate to be this way, after all. In Chinese dating culture, materialism is accepted. Most women enjoy receiving gifts and presents. However, for the Chinese, this is an archaic method of wooing. For a man to demonstrate his ability to give a woman a decent house and take care of her, the guy is expected to flaunt his wealth and purchase her expensive presents. Due to intense pressure from family and culture, Chinese women cherish marriage at a young age. They have a pressing desire to settle down, get married, and have a family.
References
Dashkovskiy, P. (2019). Radiocarbon dating of the Kurgan of the Pazyryk culture with Chinese imports of the burial ground Chineta II (Altay). Povolzhskaya Arkheologiya (The Volga River Region Archaeology), 3(29), 147-158.
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