Reasons and Implications of Divorce

Introduction

The institution of marriage is unique to human society, with every race and culture having its own unique customs and practices, although the essence of the union tends to remain similar. Marriage instills an expectation of a long-lasting or even lifelong relationship between two individuals who have agreed to mutual rights and obligations. There may be a temporary separation of spouses who eventually return to living together in some marriages, and there may be divorce. In the case of the latter, there is a range of consequences for partners, the broader community, as well as children and other family members. The reasons behind divorce are also varied, ranging from fidelity issues to the lack of mutual support. Thus, this paper aims to explore both causes and effects of divorce, including a broad range of perspectives, including personal, socioeconomic, and societal.

Understanding the Institution of Marriage

There is a wide variety of approaches toward understanding marriage, and there are also diverse opinions regarding its advantages and disadvantages. Moreover, a more progressive view of marriage suggests that it implies a significantly elaborate round of activity associated with strange ceremonies and rituals, the meaning of which has no impact on the tangible outcomes of the relationship. In its traditional definition, marriage is defined as a partnership of two members of the opposite sex known as husband and wife. However, considering the global acceptance of LGBTQ+ rights, the requirements for the sex of the spouses have been extending in more locations around the world.¹

The usual roles and responsibilities of the two individuals married to each other include living together, being intimate to only one another, sharing financial and other resources, as well as being considered as the parents of their children.

Controversy regarding the definition of marriage points to the institution’s dual nature as associated with both public and private characteristics of a personal relationship. On the one hand, marriage is concerned with an emotional and intimate connection between human beings. On the other hand, it is an institution transcending separate individuals involved in it and unites the two families that are close to the two people married to one another.

In some cultures, marriage creates a connection of two families in a complex set of property exchanges associated with land, labor, and other resources. Besides, both society and the extended family share an interest in any children that a couple can have. Moreover, it is imperative to take into account the legal and religious definitions of marriages, and the laws associated with it usually symbolically represent the symbolic expression of cultural norms, which are concerned with informal behavioral guidelines and values.

Therefore, marriage is much more than a formalized relationship between two people but is also a complex social, emotional, and religious phenomenon that may also have economic and political undertones that overlap and cannot be isolated from one another. Marriage represents a beginning of a new family and the range of implications that come with the unit. It is a point when all members of the community meet and exchange life experiences and knowledge about each other’s history, heritage, values, and lifestyles. In many ways, marriage is a duty, a requirement from the corporate society, as well as a rhythm of life in which everyone involved is expected to participate.

Defining Divorce

Divorce is defined as a legal dissolution of the marriage relationship between spouses in accordance with the established customs and judiciary requirements. It is worth noting that divorce cannot occur if a marriage was not bonded legally. Hence, when individuals who have co-habited decide to separate from one another, the term divorce cannot be applied to their separation. Throughout the centuries of human society’s development, divorce used to be considered improper and immoral, while only recently it has become the norm, although not always approved in all nations. It is also notable that the separation through a divorce does not occur in one day and takes time to take place, and may be cumbersome in some cases.

Reasons for Divorce

There may be multiple reasons for divorce taking place, ranging from individual to economic perspectives. Scholars in an abundance of research areas have found at least one reason for divorce from the standpoint of their disciplines, which is why it is important to explore them in-depth.

Infidelity

In the United States only, infidelity is said to be responsible for 20% to 40% of divorces, as found by the American Psychological Association.² Moreover, there are several sources of data. Specifically, 40% of adults who have ever cheated on their significant other are presently separated or divorced.³ Contrary to this finding, only 17% of adults remaining faithful throughout their marriage are no longer together.⁴

Notably, approximately a half of unfaithful partners are still married as compared to 76% of those who have remained faithful and are still married.⁵ Besides, men who cheated on their spouses are more likely to be married than their female peers.⁶ Of the men who have previously been unfaithful to their spouses, 61% are still married, compared to 34% of those who are no longer together, such as either divorced or separated.⁷ Finally, it is notable that only 44% of women that have been unfaithful before are still married, while 47% are either separated or divorced.

Infidelity has been cited as the most cited major contributing factor to divorce, with 59.6% of individuals endorsing it and with at least one partner cheating on the other in 88.8% of the divorced couples involved.⁸ The study revealed that cheating has often been correlated with other issues in marriage, with couples arguing most of the time or having financial struggles.⁹ The participants mentioned that their spouses admitting to cheating was the final straw, and they had felt that something was wrong. They also mentioned that they wanted to deny their suspicions because of the belief that the person to whom they married would never do anything to make them feel bad.¹⁰

Besides, when one of the spouses finds another cheating, they are more likely to cheat themselves. One of the participants in Scott et al.’s research mentioned regarding mutual cheating that “when he found out about it we both essentially agreed that wasn’t worth trying to make it work anymore because it just hurt too bad.”¹¹ Such a situation has been quite common among divorce cases as partners find themselves distancing from one another and unable to reconnect after having relationships with someone else.

The statistics on infidelity in marriage show that adults who cheat in marriage have higher chances of getting divorced or separated from their significant others. However, it is also notable that infidelity alone is not a deal-breaker for couples; instead, it negatively interacts with other challenges within a marriage, such as arguments or financial issues. Moreover, couples that stay together after cheating have reasons to do so, such as having children, economic dependency or codependency, or the ability to go through marriage counseling. As a rule, marriage infidelity occurs when spouses struggle in other areas of married life and find and thus want to find an outlet for the unshared feelings and emotions.

Financial Challenges in Marriage

Financial issues are often at the center of marriage problems because financial instability leads to further stress and misunderstandings, as well as often arguments. Research has shown that money and stress are closely inter-connected, whether it is because of unexpected expenses due to an emergency, an overextended budget, a limited budget that requires extreme levels of saving, or the discovery of a secret account of the spouse.¹² The most challenging finding regarding financial issues ruining marriages is that the problem does not affect families only in a specific socioeconomic context – it can unravel marriages between wealthy couples and couples in significant debt.

Among the financial reasons of divorce is the mismatched financial priorities, which take place if spouses do not identify their major shared goals, such as purchasing a house or traveling to an exotic location. If spouses do not recognize their objectives of spending and saving over time, it may create challenges because they will not be working together toward a shared goal. Credit card debt is among the most common and impactful reasons for divorce. For instance, one of the spouses can get into severe debt, which results in the entire family having to work together to pay down the debt. This creates additional financial stress that could have been avoided if there was a higher level of financial responsibility.

Beyond credit card debt and mismatched financial goals, financial infidelity has also been identified as the reason for divorce. The term denotes spending money, having credit cards or credit card debt, holding secret accounts, and borrowing money without the knowledge of one’s significant other. The phenomenon is quite common and can take place after the years of built-up financial tension within a marriage or develop as a result of poor communication and mismatched goals.

As suggested by Feiereisen, financial infidelity may come from deep-rooted emotional issues that should be addressed.¹³ Similar to financial infidelity, which is concerned with overspending, overextending family budgets can also be a problem. Even though when two people get married, they may feel financially secure and powerful, they then can make poor purchasing decisions that can put them into debt regardless of how much money they are making.¹⁴ Such a financial challenge puts a severe strain on the relationships between two people in a marriage. Furthermore, combining assets in marriage can lead to further economic issues.

Therefore, financial issues in marriage that lead to divorce are predominantly linked to the loss of control over a family’s monetary situation and the inability to negotiate and find solutions. Issues of financial control manifest in different ways, depending on the economic dynamics within a family as well as the set boundaries and objectives. It is also of concern for economists and family counselors that women may often feel marginalized within a marriage because of the perceived lack of contribution of influence in developing family wealth. Although every family is different and women can make more money than their significant others, conflicts occur when some time has passed, and spouses want to determine what belongs to them individually. When there is a perceived lack of women’s contribution, they may often find themselves in disadvantaged positions.¹⁵

Overall, couples who do not share the same perspectives on spending habits or those who lack control to manage impulse purchases may eventually face marital strain that can result in divorce. Wasteful management of economic resources is an issue with which many couples struggle, and without timely and appropriate addressing of the problem, spouses can seek divorce.

Marrying Too Young

A strong family unit that lasts has shown to depend on the level of maturity of spouses. Extensive research has indicated that getting married too young was a significant contributing factor to divorce by 45.1% of individuals and by at least one partner from 61.1% of couples.¹⁶ In the study by Scott et al., both partners in a marriage mentioned that getting married too young was the reason for divorce in 27.3% of participating couples.¹⁷ Participants commented that being younger when getting married presented issues that more mature couples could have handled. A common sentiment was, “I wish that we wouldn’t have gotten married so young.¹⁸

I wish we could have waited a little bit longer before we actually got married,” and “I think that we didn’t take anything as seriously as we should have”.¹⁹ The lack of maturity in marriage is an important factor because it allows spouses to overcome the stress associated with being legally bound.

Being younger and married is complicated because such couples have unrealistic expectations of what marriage entails and how to navigate it without damaging relationships. As mentioned in The Guardian, younger people often get married because they want to have an expensive party and be the center of attention in their families, or because they have romanticized the notion of finding their soulmate or want to have the imagined level of security that marriage could bring. However, as such couples live in a marriage for some time, they realize that their unrealistic expectations do not match the reality, which results in a speedy separation. What is often behind such expectations is the culture that instills the belief that marriage is an endpoint and a solution to all problems rather than a beginning of a complex process that can have different results, depending on who is involved.

The trend of younger spouses divorcing has been traced globally as the stress of relationships takes a toll on relationships and the capacity to solve the issues that arise. Moreover, technologies have been shown to play a role in relationship stress, with social media playing a significant part in facilitating trust issues due to the increased connectivity and the ability to connect to friends and ex-partners instantly.

Violence and Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse is a certain contributor to divorce between couples because of the ongoing physical and psychological trauma that it brings to a relationship. In the research by Scott et al., domestic violence was indicated as a contributing factor to divorce by 23.5% of participants and by at least one partner from 27.8% divorced couples.²⁰ It is important to note that abuse included both physical and emotional violence on the part of either or both partners.

The participants in the study by Scott et al. stated that abuse in their marriage developed gradually, with increasing cycles of contrition and abuse, until its severity intensified to significantly high levels. For example, one of the subjects stated that “there was continuous sexual abuse and emotional trauma which only got worse over time”.²¹ Another mentioned that “there were times that she felt physically threatened […] I got an elbow to my nose and I got a nose bleed. Then there was another time that he literally just slid me along the floor. We’d work on it. It would happen again”.²²

In many instances, managing abuse in a marriage is challenging because of an unhealthy power dynamic between partners. In such a dynamic, an abuser is likely to want to keep his or her victim close to them through excessive control of the spouse.²³ The victim, however, feels the psychological and physical pressure of the controlling partner and is afraid of leaving the relationship because of the fear of being physically harmed.

When there is domestic violence and abuse, divorce can be a complicated process due to the difficulty of finding common ground between spouses and the need to provide the victim with the resources to maintain their emotional stability. Domestic abuse mediation and subsequent divorce are mainly handled by spouses’ lawyers because there may be allegations that must be either proven or disproven in court. Besides, an abusive spouse can also be unwilling to divide property or give up control over their children, and such matters are often being settled based on a court decision. Therefore, domestic violence is not only a significant but also a complicated contributor to divorce, and its implications often have to be managed after divorce is finalized.

Addiction

When either of the spouses gets addicted to substance use, whether it is alcohol, cigarettes, recreational, or illegal drugs, their behaviors may change significantly. As addiction gets more control, individuals find themselves at risk of losing their employment, friends, and their marriage. Addicts sometimes show behavior that is not socially acceptable, such as lying, stealing, and cheating.²⁴ Such behaviors inevitably impact the quality of relationships within marriage and can result in divorce because of the loss of trust. Individuals who are addicted usually lie to their spouses about the extent of their dependency, hide how much money they spend on them, as well as break promises to change their behavior.

In addition to the loss of trust, addiction in marriage leads to further financial burdens. Spouses who struggle with addiction are likely to spend much more money than they can afford, waste savings, incur debt and try selling their property to pay for harmful habits.²⁵ In addition, there is a risk of them losing their jobs or committing crimes ranging from theft to driving under the influence, which further requires additional money for bail and paying fines and legal fees associated with the offense. Therefore, for married couples, the consequences of addiction can be disastrous, especially when there are children of whom the parents should take care.

When a couple ultimately decides to get divorced when there is addiction in the family, several important considerations should be noted. Spouses and their lawyers will discuss a settlement regarding child custody, child support, the division of assets, and alimony. Also, if the settlement terms have to be determined in court, judges will take addiction into consideration.²⁶ For example, in the case if spouses have children, a judge will give the spouse that is not addicted complete custody and deny the other parent any rights of visitation. In addition, a judge may perceive the monetary costs of addiction as grounds for future reimbursement. Therefore, the spouse with a history of addiction can be ordered to pay alimony and give the sober partner a more significant share of money and property.

To conclude, relationships within a marriage differ from one couple to another, and the reasons why spouses choose to separate can also vary. The lack of communication and mismatched goals and expectations make it difficult for spouses to find common ground when solving different issues that may appear in their relationship. Moreover, when there are unrealistic expectations of marriage and when reality does not match them, conflicts will arise, leading to arguments, misunderstandings, and even infidelity. In addition, financial issues and addiction can create new problems for families associated with an increased economic strain that makes it more challenging to be happy in a marriage.

Domestic violence from either partner is a significant contributor to divorce because it creates an unhealthy relationship dynamic and puts spouses of the abuser under threat. Understanding the reasons behind divorce is essential for recommending solutions that could help alleviate the challenges. However, interventions such as couples’ therapy are only effective in case if both spouses want it to work for them. Besides, it is notable that relationship education should be considered as a way to inform the society about the reality of marriage and the challenges they can incur in order for them not to set unreasonable expectations.

Implications of Divorce

Because divorce can occur because of different reasons, it can also have different implications for individuals and society overall. One of the most commonly studied effects of divorce concerns children who depend on their parents and may encounter difficulties when they separate from one another. First, children can experience adjustment issues, which are related to their positions in peer groups. For example, children may get confronted by their peers who ask them why they only have one parent. In addition, kids will have to adjust to a change in their primary relationships and environments, including a restricted interaction with one of the parents, mainly the father.

Besides, adjustment challenges can take place when children will encounter parental conflict, which is a common post-divorce occurrence, and have to learn how to deal with it.²⁷ It has also been found that children whose parents have divorced are more likely to develop emotional and physical challenges. Individuals whose parents divorced at the early adulthood stage are likely to find the experience disillusioning and painful because of the difficulty adjusting to the dissolution of the bond between their parents.

Besides adjustment issues, after parents’ divorce, children can develop psychological problems. A child may feel withdrawn from their friends and peers, especially when they are discussing their own family life and parents. In addition, it is possible that children of divorced parents carry their psychological problems associated with parents’ divorce into their own marriages. According to the study by D’Onofrio & Emery, parental separation or divorce has shown to be associated with an increased tendency for adjustment problems, including academic difficulties such as low educational attainment and school dropout.²⁸

In addition, children may exhibit disruptive behaviors, such as conduct and substance problems, as well as depressed mood. As a result, children and adult offspring of separated parents are over-represented in the mental health system, with the majority of interventions targeting the known risk mediators such as parenting problems of conflicts within the family.²⁹ Mental health researchers have also indicated that psychological challenges make children more prone to social problems because they want to show their opposition to the situation and rebel. With the relationship deficiency caused by a divorce, children may decide to join peers or adults in dangerous settings who may introduce them to vices such as alcohol and drug use, gambling, robbery, and other harmful habits.

Financial Challenges

Financial burdens of divorce are usually inevitable as possessions, money, financial assets, and any debt that have been acquired during a marriage is being divided between former spouses. In particular, divorcing individuals need at least a 30% increase in their income, on average, to preserve the same standard of living that they used to have before their divorce.³⁰ Generally, women struggle more financially compared to men after divorce. The financial burden is more significant during the first years after divorce and depends on whether a woman contributed to the family income before divorce and whether a former husband is willing and able to make child support payments.

According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, around one in five women find themselves in poverty as a result of the divorce, while one in four women lose their health insurance for some time after divorce.³¹ In addition, three out of four divorced mothers that were awarded child support in court do not receive the full amount of money that should be paid. As a result of financial challenges, women may seek assistance from public programs to supplement their finances. For men, the implications of divorce in terms of economic issues are not as significant as in women. However, fathers with custody or share custody of children have extra expenses, or the money owed for child support can be taken directly from their paychecks.

Social Effects

Divorce is a multi-dimensional process that can also take a toll on society in general. Even though divorce rates are falling as millennials choose to get married later compared to the previous generations, the rate is still 50% of all married couples.³²

For the well-being of society in general, divorce contributes to ongoing stress and anxiety of the population, as well as additional health issues. In the workplace, the adverse effects of divorce may result in employees showing more unsatisfactory performance and lower productivity, with distracted, depressed, or unengaged workers adversely impacting the cash flow of their employees. Because of this, it is imperative to understand the divorce process to help alleviate anxiety and stress in divorcing couples and their children. It is essential that if a marriage cannot be saved, a couple has the opportunity to work together and end the relationship amicable to allow for a more straightforward, less stressful, and less financially costly divorce.

Conclusion

The exploration revealed in-depth and comprehensive information regarding the reasons for divorce and its subsequent influence on an individual. Depending on every case of marriage, couples may choose to divorce because of different reasons, and the implications of the two individuals legally separating also range between situations. The most important finding is that there is a need for the increased attention to marriage education and counseling to manage the unrealistic expectations associated with getting married and staying in a legally bound relationship.

Research has shown that when adults get married early in their adulthood, they usually have illusions about what marriage is as well as what are each other’s roles and responsibilities in a legally bound relationship. In addition, considering the adverse impact of divorce on children that undergo separation and have to adjust to new environments, attention should be paid to additional family counseling and child therapy as a means to prevent harmful behaviors and long-term psychological trauma. Further research is possible regarding the effects of education on married couples on the expectations of marriage as well as the impact of child counseling on the well-being of children whose parents are undergoing a divorce.

Bibliography

American Psychological Association. “Marriage & Divorce.” APA. Web.

CPS. “Domestic Abuse Guidelines for Prosecutors.” CPS. Web.

D’Onofrio, Brian, and Robert Emery. “Parental Divorce or Separation and Children’s Mental Health.” World Psychiatry 18, no. 1 (2019): 100-101.

Edemariam, Aida. “Divorced by 30: Why Do So Many Young Marriages Come to an Early End?.” The Guardian, 2014. Web.

Eyo, Ubong. “Divorce: Causes and Effects on Children.” Asian Journal of Humanities and Social Studies 6, no. 5 (2018): 172-177.

Feiereisen, Sharon. “The 12 Biggest Money-Related Reasons People Get Divorced.” Business Insider, 2019. Web.

Hilliard, Jena. “Addiction and Divorce.” Addiction Center. 2021. Web.

Kiesewetter, Jennifer. “The Effects of Divorce on Society.” Legalzoom. Web.

“Research: How Many Marriages End in Divorce Because of Infidelity?” The Signal. 2019. Web.

Scott, Shelby, Rhoades, Galena, Stanley, Scott, Allen, Elizabeth, and Howard Markman. “Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education.” Couple and Family Psychology 2, no. 2 (2014): 131-145.

US Department of Health & Human Services. “2014 Poverty Guidelines.” ASPE. Web.

Footnotes

1. Ubong Eyo, “Divorce: Causes and Effects on Children,” Asian Journal of Humanities and Social Studies 6, no. 5 (2018): 173.
2. American Psychological Association, “Marriage & Divorce,” APA. Web.
3. “Research: How Many Marriages End in Divorce Because of Infidelity?” The Signal. Web.
4. “Research: How Many Marriages End in Divorce Because of Infidelity?” The Signal.
5. Ibid.
6. Ibid.
7. Ibid.
8. Scott, Shelby, et al., “Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education,” Couple and Family Psychology 2, no. 2 (2014): 132.
9. Scott, Shelby, et al., “Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education,” Couple and Family Psychology: 132.
10. Ibid., 132.
11. Ibid., 134.
12. Sharon Feiereisen, “The 12 Biggest Money-Related Reasons People Get Divorced,” Business Insider, 2019. Web.
13. Sharon Feiereisen, “The 12 Biggest Money-Related Reasons People Get Divorced,” Business Insider.
14. Sharon Feiereisen, “The 12 Biggest Money-Related Reasons People Get Divorced.”
15. Ibid.
16. Scott, Shelby, et al., “Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education,” Couple and Family Psychology: 133.
17. Ibid., 133.
18. Aida Edemariam, “Divorced by 30: Why Do So Many Young Marriages Come to an Early End?,” The Guardian, 2014. Web.
19. Scott, Shelby, et al., “Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education,” Couple and Family Psychology: 133.
20. Ibid., 134.
21. Ibid., 135.
22. Ibid., 135.
23. CPS, “Domestic Abuse Guidelines for Prosecutors,” CPS, 2020. Web.
24. Ubong Eyo, “Divorce: Causes and Effects on Children,” Asian Journal of Humanities and Social Studies 6, no. 5 (2018): 172.
25. Jena Hilliard, “Addiction and Divorce,” Addiction Center, 2021. Web.
26. Jena Hilliard, “Addiction and Divorce,” Addiction Center.
27. Ubong Eyo, “Divorce: Causes and Effects on Children,” Asian Journal of Humanities and Social Studies 6, no. 5 (2018): 177.
28. Brian D’Onofrio and Robert Emery, “Parental Divorce or Separation and Children’s Mental Health,” World Psychiatry 18, no. 1 (2019): 100.
29. Brian D’Onofrio and Robert Emery, “Parental Divorce or Separation and Children’s Mental Health,” 100.
30. Ubong Eyo, “Divorce: Causes and Effects on Children,” Asian Journal of Humanities and Social Studies 6, no. 5 (2018): 178.
31. US Department of Health & Human Services, “2014 Poverty Guidelines,” ASPE. Web.
32. Jennifer Kiesewetter, “The Effects of Divorce on Society,” Legalzoom, 2021. Web.