Why do so many romantic relationships come to an end? Are people incapable of having true feelings these days? Where are Romeos and Juliets? Are they too afraid or busy to be attached to someone? Every case is unique, and there are usually many reasons for relationships to fail. Some people tend to see failed relationships as a horrific loss that is worth ending one’s life. However, when people understand that a failed romantic relationship is a gain and reflect on this experience paying a lot of attention to their needs, expectations, and personal traits, they will make a tremendous leap towards their living happily ever after.
It is vital to see any failed relationships as a perfect experience to learn. For example, I had a long relationship that was doomed as we both simply tried to maintain something non-existent. We were both wrong about each other and each other’s expectations. My friend helped me see that failure as a lesson to learn. I understood that the affair was not a waste of time but a step towards successful relationships. I identified the major mistakes that brought me to misery and despair. It turned out that the major problem was not my partner, as it was me.
Self-reflection and the focus on my feelings, thoughts, and behaviors enabled me to understand my most serious mistakes. It was rather difficult to analyze my personality and behaviors as an individual always has quite a distorted picture of oneself. At least, this was the case with me. Nevertheless, I managed to look into my previous relationships. I was surprised to acknowledge that I was attracted to a particular type of person and behavior. Such things as a danger, enigma, and risk attracted me most. At that, those features were not what I needed. I needed trust, intimacy, and support. Another crucial mistake I made was the focus on a certain ideal that existed in my head. I simply tried to develop relationships that were often featured in films. I never listened to myself or my partner.
Moreover, I realized that I never truly knew my partner. I loved a person who lived in my head rather than in my house. The reflection helped me make the next step.
Self-development is the final step before meeting the one who can make you happy and the final stride before developing successful relationships with this Mr. or Ms. Right. For instance, I learned to be sincere with myself. I stopped looking for dangerous and mysterious people who could make my life more exciting. I stopped creating relationships promulgated through the media. I started looking for particular traits that were really important to me. I cannot say that my current relationship is all bed of roses. However, we work on these relationships together. We self-develop and help each other in this endeavor.
In conclusion, it is possible to note that failed affairs were a considerable gain for me that helped me (and can help anyone) develop healthy romantic relationships through self-reflection and self-development. The saying that any relationship is hard work for both parties involved is true to life. People should understand themselves and their true needs to form successful romantic affairs. Of course, it can hurt immensely when your relationship comes to an end, and it may even seem that your entire life is over. However, it is necessary to pull yourself together and move on. People who are not afraid of being sincere with themselves and their partners become truly happy.